NEVER NEVER LAND weather conditions brought to you by TANK GIRL: Windy, Cold and they are saying rain, but that hasn't happened yet....Also 1 American dollar buys .69 Euro.
Also.
Let me just say.
I am neurotic.
This morning LEGS skipped PT because he needed to take the TANK to get it permanently registered here in NEVER NEVER LAND. Don't you hate it when you can sleep in a little but your body still wakes up at the scheduled time? Since both of us were stirring in bed, Karmella woke up and was ready to go for the day.
Irritated I tried to quiet her whining so we could both get some more sleep, but she was persistent and kept whining. This is the point in my life where I imagine having a child......and I think to myself, seriously? I slept for seven hours, not 10, or 12, I am not a lazy person, I am a hard worker, in fact I don't mind work I rather enjoy it, yet when the dog is whining and I want to sleep for an extra 15 minutes I feel violent toward something I couldn't imagine loving more.
So far today Karmella has had diarrhea three times in the house and thrown up once. I see a European Vet visit in my near future. And now horrified with anxiety about the well being of the dog and cost of the vet visit.....I sit and ponder.....am I ready in my life to have a child?
Next subject......(Side Note: Daddy if you are reading this, please note this is me taking steps to become a mature, confident woman, and for everybody else, I suspected every step of the way that I should not write this due to the fact it may be a classic case of 'T.M.I' and then I thought, I bet every other woman out there has these anxieties and would rejoice in the fact that they are not alone! Am I right ? Or am I right?- please....due to an unbearable amount of humiliation do not tell me I am wrong....)
My whole life I have obtained ALL my medical care from a female. When I moved from Alaska to Alabama, I started to receive care from two different doctors. One was my medical doctor and the other was my 'Goodie Box' Doctor.
I was VERY nervous at first about seeing a male doctor for my female stuff, but he was very pleasant and professional.
Here in NEVER NEVER LAND, I see ONE doctor for EVERYTHING. So this morning was my first 'Goodie Box' check up with my regular doctor. All week long I have been apprehensive and fretful over ONE MAN knowing every single thing about ME and MY Goodie Box.
In my mind: 'This is so stupid.....the man is a professional. Why do I care so much? Will it be awkward? What if something weird happens? I am sure everything will be fine......Its not like he has the issue....you do....that is right I have an issue....I seemingly have an issue with the man who gives me regular medical care seeing me naked. Why?'
But as I laid there in that ridiculous blue gown, and the doctor actually said 'Let me just wipe up the LUBE here....' I started to think......
I don't really care about the nudity, my body will never look like a bikini super model as much as I dream of that day.....
I care more about the humility and dignity part. I guess the reason that I was more comfortable with the female is, she couldn't judge me, she had to get up there and do the same damn thing.
This little issue I have is getting buried today, the man is a professional, and I should be so lucky to have one doctor than can oversee my comprehensive care.....I will no longer suffer from Goodie Box shame!
Did I just seriously tell you about that?
Heavy sigh......After my ridiculous mania I decided to go for a run, a REALLY LONG run.....as I was taking as shower I made the decision to completely delete this blog thinking it was a bad case of diarrhea of the mouth....then I read it to LEGS...as I read it out loud I was like this is GOOOOOOD......why was I so insecure about it? And wouldn't you know.....LEGS agreed.
I picked up the dress and it was perfect, the little Greek man told me I would look like a princess in it- after that compliment I left him a BIG European tip.
Time to cuddle up on the couch with LEGS and knit on this rainy evening....
Random Thoughts:
I sometimes wonder......when I was growing up my mom would say things to me like, don't do that, or you are making a mistake, or she would give me these little tid-bits like don't try and grow up so fast.....and now....that I am grown up and did it way too fast....I wish I would have listened to her more........how come.....even though everybody that genuinely loves you, and cares about you gives you advice do you refuse it? Why do humans like to experience the ever miserable line "I told you so...." over and over again?
Don't you hate it when you can't decide what to do? Like today I needed to take a shower (after I went to the gym) and get dressed, but then I was like, well I don't have to take a shower, I can just throw on some clothes, then I was like well maybe I will go for a run, but I don't want to run, I am hungry, maybe I should eat......instead I blogged....about nothing......
Then I felt bad about not running.....if I don't run....I don't deserve to eat.....jeez....get real Tiffany. Okay....that's it I am going for a light jog....I need to since I am a psycho crazy person....
I wish my husband had a foot fetish, I don't know what it is.....but it makes me really really happy to have my feet rubbed.
LEGS and I really wanted to have a few cocktails tonight.....but like good little dieters we refrained- HIGH FIVE FOR MORAL SUPPORT.
OVER & OUT
Just another manic day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....
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