Weather: SPOOKY........eerily foggy......
Exchange Rate: Horrible.....
I always wonder what kind of obstacles or thoughts people who are clearly over weight are facing......especially when you hand them the solution on a silver platter......
I can't help but feel like their eyes fixate on my as I walk by, and that they are thinking the same exact thing I used to think when I was over weight too....
"That LUCKY B*tch.....I wonder how she stays that skinny.....she probably doesn't eat....or works out all the time.....Well....besides...I am happy where I am, I don't want to live a life killing myself to stay that skinny, I don't want to deprive myself of food......"
NEWS FLASH: I have the answer its right here......
I seem to have encountered a few closed minded individuals lately as well....
Like for some reason people keep bashing the FRG.....and I TOTALLY get it- FRG hasn't always been my RAY OF SUNSHINE- TRUST ME......but- as I have said before I went to the first meeting in NEVER NEVER LAND with a open mind and the adult maturity that you cannot possibly make judgements about something UNTIL you try it- its as bad as not voting but complaining about it-
If for no other reason- I believe the FRG is a place where I can influence the happenings in and around our military life. If I don't like something, I I do like something, or if I just want to issue some concerns and gripes- I can do all that at the FRG meetings.
Being part of the FRG has given me the peace of mind and perhaps the very SMALL percentage of CONTROL that I am allowed in this life. I may not pick where we live, how we live in some instances, and most of the our life circumstances but I can at the very least have a say in the activities we participate in, the attitude of the FRG, and if I don't like how things are going I can use the proper political channels to at least be heard!
ADVOCARE.....its tough.....its tough when something has helped you be the way you want to be and you see it helping so many others, and......there is a dismissive attitude toward it.......I tried to get it out there and to make others feel as great as I do, but by my standards it was a complete failure.......I'm not getting too bummed about it though- sometimes when people don't want to help themselves it helps me to remind myself that at least I am where I want to be....as selfish as that sounds-
I just want to shake some people though! ITS GREAT STUFF I SWEAR! UGH!
I don't think about it every day, but sometimes I hear a song, or read a book, or see a movie, or feel something, sometimes a bird flies over head, or the sun dances across the room, or the wind blows the trees, sometimes I think about my life and what it would be like with out my BELOVED LEGS.....
I think about the moments that make us who we are, I think about the memories I am most fond of, I think about how I wish I could document every single whisper, every single look, even the most frivolous details of our life together.....I take a deep breath and I try to push all these thoughts out of my mind....but I also wonder if I am really LIVING during these snippets of clarity.....
What will be the most prominent memories, will it be him laughing, or playing with my hair, will it be the way he handles Karmella, or the way in which he makes me feel, will it be the last time I see him? What moments will make the cut?
We were laying in bed and LEGS got up to go downstairs to get a glass of water, before he was able to exit I grabbed him and pulled him close to me, I said 'shhhhh, you hear that?' He sat there and listened really hard. After a few seconds he asked me what he was listening for.....I told him shhhhh....do you hear how quiet this house is? He said yeah, I said its so quiet its maddening sometimes, its going to be a long 12 months.....
This week has been full of TRICKS and TREATS....
At first LEGS wasn't coming home until Saturday (TRICK), than he come home on Tuesday (TREAT), but had to leave on Thursday (TRICK), he couldn't fly Thursday due to weather so he left Friday (TREAT AND TRICK), he came back on Saturday (TREAT......sorta).....
I feel like every single step of the way I have had to plan and juggle two different lives.....
The LIFE I lead without LEGS looks something like this;
I eat simple meals that usually consist of; soup, eggs, salads, microwavable items, easy peasy.....
I spend most of the time in workout clothes or sweats, for two reasons- I am either working out or trying to stay warm.....
The house stays clean because I usually only occupy a few rooms, clean up behind myself, when....I am even home......
I live alone, I don't have children so my schedule LITERALLY revolves around only me and any social events I commit myself too.....
When LEGS is here my life changes in the following ways:
I TRY to plan and prepare proper well balanced meals....
I TRY to look "PRESENTABLE" on a more regular basis...after all he is the ONLY one I am trying to impress....
The house becomes a disaster for several reasons, number one the ARMY blows up all over every day all the time in the house, number two we occupy more rooms in the house, and have you ever noticed how DIRTY BOYZ are? He is just dirty....pee on the toilet, whiskers in the sink, mud tracked into the house, more laundry, more dishes, more WORK!
Everybody laughs- but here is monumental proof the ARMY has indigestion in my house on a regular basis....
Suddenly my whole life is based on what LEGS has going on, what his schedule is, when he's coming, when he's going, what he needs, where he goes, what he does etc.,
AND.....WHEN....he IS HOME.....I WANT TO BE WITH HIM....
So.......about that "TREAT......SORTA...."
LEGS was kinda sorta supposed to come back home on Saturday- but....its the ARMY so I never get my hopes up.....
Friday and Saturday I spent a lot of time thinking about him....how much I missed him and wanted to just have him home......I even painted my toes and laid out LINGERIE...I NEVER wear it.....I only put that stuff on for TWO REASONS: 1. I messed up really bad 2. I really want something......
This time it was neither, I just wanted to make WHOOPI with him and I know he likes it.....
I was out volunteering at the ARMY HOWL FEST- (Halloween themed fest put on by the ARMY)- when he texted me and said he was home......
I rushed home with a complete fantasy of this romantic night we were going to spend together...when I pulled up to the driveway somebody's car was in the driveway but I didn't know whose it was......
1st LET DOWN: No romantic HOLLYWOOD KISS.....
When I entered the house two of LEGS' colleagues were there hanging out......while we were all there chatting it up I noticed LEGS was acting a little strange.....
He did have a beer in his hand.....but that's just one beer......
A few minutes later he admitted he was drunk.....he and one of the present colleagues had consumed a few beers prior to his arrival home....
2nd LET DOWN: IF WHOOPI was going to OCCUR....it would be SLOPPY WHOOPY......
I promptly thanked that Colleage for "COCK BLOCKING" Me.....
To salvage the evening I suggested a good Pizza Joint down the street for dinner.....but.....
3rd LET DOWN: It was closed.....
By this time I am just totally BUMMED.....no ROMANTIC REUNION, NO AMAZING WHOOPI, NO DINNER......
Legs and I grabbed something to nibble on and crawled into bed to watch a movie......
4th LET DOWN: He feel asleep 3 minutes into the movie and proceeded to thrash, toss, turn and snore late into the night........
Leave it up to a man to get in his own way......
This night was like a real life HORROR FILM......it was like my NIGHTMARE.....
After this house of horrors though- the only thing I could do is look up to the sky, laugh out loud, shake my head, and LOVE MY HUSBAND.....
I made a home made carrot cake with carrots from my garden for STITCH and BITCH in September- I never posted the pictures or the recipe so here it is- it was pretty AWESOME! It was my very first double decker cake!
Ingredients
Directions
Random Thoughts:
YOU.....are not a DOCTOR......
My husband looks hot.....
Man.....I totally suck at changing gears......
I wish she would just TRY!
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink......
Just another SPOOKY day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**
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