Weather: NEVER NEVER LAND is experiencing a REAL WINTER....
Exchange Rate: Doable....
Deployment is well on its way.......things are going really fast, every body is really busy.....bags and boxes are being packed....paperwork is being put together and organized.....and the complicated extraction of a family member is inevitable.....
Its when the PRE-DEPLOYMENT EMOTIONS and inconceivable desperation sets in......DEEP......
QUEEN DI (LEGS' MOMMY) chatted on the phone with us the other day...She knew that LEGS had been traveling...she said that she had thought LEGS' plane had crashed so she started to watch the news......and the tone of her voice on the end of the line.....was a little higher pitched, a little more strained, a little more joyless.....she was very insistent on seeing LEGS before the deployment.....
It made me realize that. IT.....HAS.....BEGUN.....
.....this fast and furious emotional roller coaster......of high highs, low lows, and the escalation to the final scene......
And the bottom line is....
PEOPLE FREAK.......
Scenes from normal everyday activities are tinged with high emotions and this clinging sense of committing every moment to memory........
The meaning of life....the reasons for life.....just a nonsensical weird pondering of life starts to occur and settle at the end of the day.......
The analyzation of your exact role....are you going to be tough, are going to be weepy......or are you going to be real? Are you finally going to be REAL.....that real person that you never let out but really want to......?
Suddenly the definitions of morality pop up all over and deep discussions of right, wrong, life philosophies, ideas, and the pursuit of such infatuations are EPIC and AMBITIOUS.....
Under all this pressure, reflection, and raw emotion.....
PEOPLE........
FREAK..........
Suddenly the definitions of morality pop up all over and deep discussions of right, wrong, life philosophies, ideas, and the pursuit of such infatuations are EPIC and AMBITIOUS.....
Under all this pressure, reflection, and raw emotion.....
PEOPLE........
FREAK..........
The things they have wanted all their lives.....they don't want any more......
Feelings they have or have had.....they don't even remember any more....
Feelings they have or have had.....they don't even remember any more....
People either get married or decide on divorce.....they distance themselves or thrust themselves onto their significant other like a person clinging to a life raft during the PERFECT STORM.....
People just get a little crazy......
PEOPLE
FREAK......
And can you blame them...?
PEOPLE
FREAK......
And can you blame them...?
They do things they would never normally do......
.....because.........
.......they........ want.........to..........feel.........
ALIVE.......
.....because.........
.......they........ want.........to..........feel.........
ALIVE.......
They rationalize and think in their minds......
That......THIS.........THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE...........
Is.....
THE MOST ALIVE THEY MIGHT EVER FEEL.......
I'M
FREAKING........
I have been surprising myself lately.......with this fleeting mania.....
I have been the kind of person that must exist some where inside of me but has never been let out to see the light of day......
A girl that probably would have existed in her early twenties but....was at home waiting for a phone call and reading horrible news stories about WAR......
I can't help but think its because of the deployment......
I guess perhaps it could be because of this special alignment of stars.....perhaps.....our lives are written out already.....perhaps destiny and fate really do exist......OR LIFE.....is LIKE A MOVIE.....
I was at the mall that one day. I met a man. A war started. He went to war. I wrote letters. Just Married. Home Sweet Home. The start of a career. Moving. A bumpy road. Dreams are Made. Dreams Come True. And they keep coming true.
ITS
LIKE
A
FRICKEN
MOVIE.......
A movie where a GIRL becomes who she was always supposed to be......? Is this REALLY who I am?
Maybe its the part of you that wants exactly what you want and there is a shift between what you want and what is expected of you.....
Pre-deployment FREAK OUTS......
Where bizarre:
Connections ARE made.
Affections ARE shared.
Bonds that will last a lifetime are forged.......
A rare intimacy evolves........
And out of this rare intimacy.....
A transformation occurs......
The transformation between girl and woman......this is apparently my PRE DEPLOYMENT FREAK OUT......my first one at least.......
I FEEL.......that.......
I am a woman who is beautiful....so beautiful that people stop and stare....that people notice and are drawn to her like a moth to a flame...
Complex.....the thoughts in my mind will never be understood by any one average....it takes real talent, real emotion, real complicated people to REALLY see me......
And sexy.....for some reason it has become apparent, a sudden light from within, and sudden enlightenment that sex, sexuality, sensuality, and a desire to show it, share it, give it and take it away.......
I feel confident, intuitive, easy going....that nothing is THAT serious and YET....
THIS MOMENT.......is the only one I am certain I will have....
I long for what is next....
Yet I want this moment to last forever.....
I have been thinking beautiful amazing thoughts, having exceptional dreams, I am inspired by this picture....the one that is BIG......
I feel larger than life, but sensitive and deeply connected to people....only wanting to make them happy and love them, and shower them with sunshine and this energy, this magic I seem to be in possession of......
I have this power suddenly....its this enveloping power.......its addicting and tempting me always......but I realize the danger of corruption......never wanting to cause any one pain, only wanting to absorb the hurt.....
I am experiencing......
A chemistry.....a dream like trance.....a surreal-ness.......a kind of spark that has jolted and inspired me to desire, to explore more, see more, touch more, feel more, be more, fear more.....
A fire that enlightens.....
......and consumes......
And yet, all this anxiety, knowledge that power can be abused, that sexuality carries a darkness with it, the greed, the hunger and the desire....excitement....leads.....to the knowledge that
THIS MOMENT will come to an end.....
........................................................just as all moments do....
Call me a FREAK.......
But.....I......Will.......
LIVE HARD.
LOVE HARD.
FIGHT HARD.
BLOOPER REEL:
Scenario: GAME NIGHT at our FAVORITE COUPLE FRIENDS HOUSE
GAME: TABOO.
MARITAL SPAT: About the reading of directions...to the game....
Question: "Do we really HAVE to read the DIRECTIONS?"
Reply: "SHUT UP! I'm SKIMMING!!!"
Add in copious amounts of wine......
CONCLUSION: ME. THROWING UP VIOLENTLY IN THEIR BATHROOM AT THE END OF THE NIGHT.......
POST SCRIPT:
I would like to take this time to THANK EVERYBODY who reads my blog for your OVERWHELMING SUPPORT. If you do enjoy my blog, and you read on a regular basis OR liked a particular post- PLEASE SHARE IT with YOUR friends.....LOVE ON YA-
Just another DAY in the LIFE of AN UNLIKELY MILITARY WIFE........**
That......THIS.........THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE...........
Is.....
THE MOST ALIVE THEY MIGHT EVER FEEL.......
I'M
FREAKING........
I have been surprising myself lately.......with this fleeting mania.....
I have been the kind of person that must exist some where inside of me but has never been let out to see the light of day......
A girl that probably would have existed in her early twenties but....was at home waiting for a phone call and reading horrible news stories about WAR......
I can't help but think its because of the deployment......
I guess perhaps it could be because of this special alignment of stars.....perhaps.....our lives are written out already.....perhaps destiny and fate really do exist......OR LIFE.....is LIKE A MOVIE.....
I was at the mall that one day. I met a man. A war started. He went to war. I wrote letters. Just Married. Home Sweet Home. The start of a career. Moving. A bumpy road. Dreams are Made. Dreams Come True. And they keep coming true.
ITS
LIKE
A
FRICKEN
MOVIE.......
A movie where a GIRL becomes who she was always supposed to be......? Is this REALLY who I am?
Maybe its the part of you that wants exactly what you want and there is a shift between what you want and what is expected of you.....
Pre-deployment FREAK OUTS......
Where bizarre:
Connections ARE made.
Affections ARE shared.
Bonds that will last a lifetime are forged.......
A rare intimacy evolves........
And out of this rare intimacy.....
A transformation occurs......
The transformation between girl and woman......this is apparently my PRE DEPLOYMENT FREAK OUT......my first one at least.......
I FEEL.......that.......
I am a woman who is beautiful....so beautiful that people stop and stare....that people notice and are drawn to her like a moth to a flame...
Complex.....the thoughts in my mind will never be understood by any one average....it takes real talent, real emotion, real complicated people to REALLY see me......
And sexy.....for some reason it has become apparent, a sudden light from within, and sudden enlightenment that sex, sexuality, sensuality, and a desire to show it, share it, give it and take it away.......
I feel confident, intuitive, easy going....that nothing is THAT serious and YET....
THIS MOMENT.......is the only one I am certain I will have....
I long for what is next....
Yet I want this moment to last forever.....
I have been thinking beautiful amazing thoughts, having exceptional dreams, I am inspired by this picture....the one that is BIG......
I feel larger than life, but sensitive and deeply connected to people....only wanting to make them happy and love them, and shower them with sunshine and this energy, this magic I seem to be in possession of......
I have this power suddenly....its this enveloping power.......its addicting and tempting me always......but I realize the danger of corruption......never wanting to cause any one pain, only wanting to absorb the hurt.....
I am experiencing......
A chemistry.....a dream like trance.....a surreal-ness.......a kind of spark that has jolted and inspired me to desire, to explore more, see more, touch more, feel more, be more, fear more.....
A fire that enlightens.....
......and consumes......
And yet, all this anxiety, knowledge that power can be abused, that sexuality carries a darkness with it, the greed, the hunger and the desire....excitement....leads.....to the knowledge that
THIS MOMENT will come to an end.....
........................................................just as all moments do....
Call me a FREAK.......
But.....I......Will.......
LIVE HARD.
LOVE HARD.
FIGHT HARD.
BLOOPER REEL:
Scenario: GAME NIGHT at our FAVORITE COUPLE FRIENDS HOUSE
GAME: TABOO.
MARITAL SPAT: About the reading of directions...to the game....
Question: "Do we really HAVE to read the DIRECTIONS?"
Reply: "SHUT UP! I'm SKIMMING!!!"
Add in copious amounts of wine......
CONCLUSION: ME. THROWING UP VIOLENTLY IN THEIR BATHROOM AT THE END OF THE NIGHT.......
POST SCRIPT:
I would like to take this time to THANK EVERYBODY who reads my blog for your OVERWHELMING SUPPORT. If you do enjoy my blog, and you read on a regular basis OR liked a particular post- PLEASE SHARE IT with YOUR friends.....LOVE ON YA-
Just another DAY in the LIFE of AN UNLIKELY MILITARY WIFE........**
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