My LIFE....the DICHOTOMY...**

Dear Blog.....


And now...Karmella with the weather: I don't know where my master has taken me, or what's up with this country, but I have been freezing my paws off!


Exchange Rate: $1.43 = 1 Euro (das ist nicht gut)


I know.  I have been bad. Really bad. (hanging my head in shame) But frankly my life has been normal lately....I haven't had much to blog about.  I mean....I could tell you about my marital bliss, but how phony is that?  Like 'Yeah LEGS and I are so happy.....we are so happy, we really are....' It sounds like I am trying to prove something to somebody......


It seems as though...the Universe has been sending me a valuable message lately.....


But the message is painful...and contorted.....and unclear......


It seems the stories of DEATH just keep coming.......


I live with a man that has seen more than enough death in his short life.  He does not believe in GOD or an afterlife.....


Perhaps....I have been able, over the years to keep my innocence, I still believe in a higher power- which I call The Universe, because I just can't chock it up all the crazy coincidences, miracles, and every day beauty to NOTHING....I believe in an after life....because I think every human has a spirit....that goes some where when we die....I don't go to church, and I don't have a book, I just have my life experiences guiding me and the insight to believe in something based on what I see in this crazy, beautiful thing....we call life.....


But...even all these hopeful, nostalgic, beautiful ideas about life have me feeling a little sad about all the DEATH that has surrounded and affected my life PERSONALLY lately.....


I had one of my favorite days of my whole life......I was coming down from that high Saturday afternoon.....I checked in to the world, and started seeing the early reports, from my military friends, that something really bad had happened.......


After looking further in.....I burst into tears.......


Upon reading the news of the CHINOOK that went down in Afghanistan, taking with it 31 Souls.  While any loss of life serving in our military is very hard fro me........


Its incredibly hard for me to accept and realize the severe loss and certainty that my SOUL MATE flies a helicopter.  Its days like these where....everything stops....everything is quiet....and your left with your tears, your anxiety, and your sudden total realization that this is real, this is life, your husband gets in a machine that is always trying to kill him, and he will shortly be flying that complicated machine in hostile territory.....


And you think.....My GOD......this could happen to me.....and you start to play it out in your mind....you look at him across the living room, and think of him with NO LIFE...you wonder...if you will know the moment it happens...will you just sense something is wrong?  Or will you just live, doing all those monotonous chores we call life......you think of getting that knock on the door from casualty affairs, how will you react?  Will it be like in the movies?  Will you hold it together? Or freak out? Will you be angry? Or cry?  How will the first night sleeping alone (like alone alone) feel?  And then the overwhelming decisions you will have to make....snap you into the thoughts of if he happened to another Pilot, and his family and his wife....your friend....what would you say to her?  And how will she deal with it?  By this point....you are crying some more......and you finishing begging the powers that be, to keep your husband safe, and promising to make every day count....


My prayers and thoughts are to those families that have paid so heavily a price upon the alter of freedom......


I spoke to LEGS about this....after I had a day to cry and deal as a wife with this incredible burden that we as military wives carry....


And this is what I came up with.....


One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. -Joan of Arc


While I am utterly devastated and with tears every minute, I believe due to my inside and personal knowledge of this community, that those who die serving their country, believed in and fully comprehended the ultimate sacrifice, I LOVE LEGS and cannot IMAGINE my life without him, but...I admire how unselfish he is, and rejoice that he lives his life with such passion, commitment and selfless generosity.....**


Back to the message, I am not sure what it is, or what it all means....but I have been reminded not to take LEGS' physical presence in my life for granted, to appreciate him, and love him, and support him so that he can come back to be safely.  I am hoping....that some of the other things I see going on in other marriages around me, will taper off, and people will realize Life is SO FRAGILE, things can change in an instant, and you never know until its over, that those were the best days of your life........


One day....not far from now.....your life....and the life of your family....and friends....will flash before....the eyes of those witnesses.....make sure its worth watching.....


I find it so frustrating how paradoxical life can be.......


When everything is going fabulous in other people's lives.....its seems as though every possible demoralizing thing is happening in yours........


Like....when you can't win for losing....can't catch a break....when it rains it pours....murphy's law....ripple affect.....jinxed.... stroke of bad luck....bad ju ju.....bad karma.....life is a b*tch....


Or...when everything is going perfectly in your life.....it seems as though every possible dispiriting thing is happening in other people's lives.....


When your friends SPLIT...


As you know....LEGS and I have been together a decade...married for ALMOST 5.......which means we have seen some things........


One thing we have seen too much of is our friends SPLITTING UP......


And its ALWAYS hard.....when your friends SPLIT.  Its like this; today....you know.....that two people are going to FALL OUT of LOVE, but, there isn't anything you can do, but stand on the sidelines and watch it happen.....its terribly heartbreaking.....and sad.....because......nobody wins......


And its not just them who breaks up either.....


Its you and them as well.....


Because what can you do??? Take Sides???


Yeah......I did that...once....it didn't work out.....


I really liked her, and I thought he was making a mistake.  Things have never been the same between him and I....and I suspect, I changed the friendship between him and LEGS....and for that.....I still hate myself.....


It never works out the way you hope it will or think it should.....


And you always wonder....what happened???


Where did their love go?  Did they lose it?  Or forget it?  They DID love each other....right?


What was going on behind closed doors?  What was the relationship really like?  There are plenty of people around to speculate-


There is always her story......and his story.......and everybody else's ideas....which are usually regurgitated sh*t that is said out of personal opinion, or uttered in anger, or offense.....or sometimes.....blame, guilt, shame.......but always some struggle by everyone involved to pin point...the reason....


Then you think...in your own mind....that it could never happen to you....you and your spouse really love each other, and you get along, and besides...you didn't have any of the problems your friends had...


(BAWHAHAHAHA!  Are you CEREAL? ) 


And that....is the second, you are headed down the same path....marriages are fragile.....hold yourself accountable people....


Now comes the part where you have to watch your friends separate....this life that had been joined, now must be SPLIT up between two people....and its never even, its never fair......


And then.....your friends are left with pieces, parts, half of this and half of that life...so now...you have to watch them put it back together......and create the semblance of a single life.....


And it SEEMS as though....the story is ALWAYS the same....


Suddenly....or even steadily.......


Your friends break down.....and start accepting less...or settling...or even aiming just a little lower, a little more modest, a little more mediocre.....


The second chance.....the second marriage....the second life.....is more...


Moderate in desire......more regular in nature....more common......typical, usual, adequate.....


She....goes on with life....her ideas are now less grand, very little fanfare, she appreciates the smaller things in life.....


And he.....


Well....he goes on and lives some half baked life.....at least for awhile....


But then he marries somebody...(guess those lonely nights finally got old).....but not who anyone would picture...


And then you wonder about that assumption- is it just not the person you were acquainted seeing him with?  And why is it they ARE always so different?  Is it because Men tire of the same old gal day in and day out?  Do they think that by marrying somebody completely different it will change who they themselves are? Are we designed to be with ONLY ONE person for Eternity?  Why is there always something...."OFF" about the next guy...or girl???


And how come I always feel like....it never turns out as well as you hope it will?  Its never as grand, pretty, genuine, and REAL as the first time around?  Why is the SECOND MARRIAGE so DISAPPOINTING??? Even to someone on the sidelines like me?


And lets also debate the military aspect-


Number One- Where is your "HOME?"


So now...that you are having to extricate yourself from a person that you have been in a legal, romantic, mutual and binding commitment with...you have to move as well???


Number Two- Where is your "JOB?"


You know....the one you left to follow the person you love....and who care if it wasn't any more spectacular than HOOTERS....you were getting by weren't ya?


Number Three- Where is your "FRIENDS?"


They are all married to men in your now 'X' significant others company, unit, job, field, etc. etc.


Number Four- Where is your "FAMILY?"


Estranged....you left them years ago....and now you must rekindle and re-establish those relationships that you left behind....for your love.....


After all that....I guess its tough not being jaded...shoot-makes you even jaded to watch.....and also hard to be alone....so I can see and understand how it can all go down the way it does......


And my point...in writing any of this....is to get you thinking....tracking...brainstorming.....about life....and love.....because it has me thinking.....


Thinking that not only do I need to make a plan, and protect myself so that if my marriage ends abruptly I will be.....OKAY.......but I also need to cherish, nurture, and always make my marriage my priority....


I need to make good choices.....


(of course this has been written with the qualifier; I am not speaking about anybody in particular- I have two parents who divorced each other and remarried...and not all situations can be put in my general terms mentioned above...thank you for being mature readers and giving me the benefit of the doubt......)


About the paradox.....


LEGS and I have been doing exceptionally well lately.....like fairy tale good.....how hard it must be for him to go to work in such a anti-marriage climate.....LOVE the fact that he is a man that marches to the beat of his own drum! 




Fitness Status:


Weight 138lbs.
Diet: Disciplined
Workout: Slightly Intense




My heart is beating hard, my stomach is doing flops...but...


Its just ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name......


60 miles...on the bike....let's do this....


And guess what?  Yep- despite all the HATERS, DOUBTERS and SILLY BOYZ that for....even a second....thought I couldn't "KEEP UP"


WOOO!.....WOOOOO!.....HA HA HA! WOOOOOOOO! I DID IT!!!! I RODE 60 MILES AND KEPT UP WITH THE BOYZ!!!! BEST DAY I HAVE HAD IN NEVER NEVER LAND SO FAR! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!  (4OOO CALORIES!)




Beauty is EXUBERANCE. -William Blake


Day 10 of the ADVOCARE CLEANSE and I feel FABULOUS!


I have completed the ADVOCARE CLEANSE- I feel great and hardly miss any of the OLD foods I was dependent on, I sucessfully broke up with cheese/diary- it doesn't deserve me, and I can honestly say- food has much less power over me, LEGS is even planning on doing it, now to PHASE TWO: METABOLIC NUTRITION SYSTEM- while I was the commissary today I was re-motivated to continue my healthy eating! I feel BEAUTIFUL, CONFIDENT and ENERGETIC!!! **


Listen:  I hate diets.  I think they are bullsh*t.  But I believe in the nutrition guidelines and ADVOCARE PROGRAM.  






Random Thoughts:


Just got done looking over the REUNION Page set up on facebook.....yes (smh)...I am THAT old....my 10 year High School Reunion is this year......


I always thought....it would be like Romy and Michele's High School Reunion....I would be proud and happy to show back up to the Old Crowd to PROVE that I became MORE than anybody ever expected....while shamelessly looking down at those that shat on everybody else promising they would go far in life......so far...I don't feel that way- guess that is what happens when you grow up.....


Nonetheless....some random thoughts I did have in my brain.....


I find it hilarious that SO MANY people ARE NOT going to make it....DUH!  Its been 10 years- we all have lives now....SEESH.....


Also....amusing that the ones that are so bummed people aren't going to be make it and have been the first to say they are attending....are not surprisingly still in AK....and from what I can obtain via facebook are just looking to relive their GLORY DAYS....since High School....was the last time they even HAD a GLORY DAY....


I have re-read some of my blogs....I am so embarrassed about the spelling errors....I will try to be better....its just hard!  You were catching my drift though right?


PS- I had pictures...but LEGS has the camera with the memory card- so.....my new blog camera is on its way...I appreciate your patience....


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**

Please help me be the person my dog thinks I am....**

WHAT'S GOIN' ON? Blog...

Weather: In NEVER NEVER LAND, just wait five minutes and the weather will change.

Exchange Rate: 1 buck equals 1 dollar forty two.....

About Karmella.....my little Veloceraptor.....now that we have her running away under control;

'Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predicatable in their actions, grateful and loyal.  Difficult standards for people to live up to.' -Alfred A. Montapert

The more I go through life the more I see this as true.....

I LOVE my doggie Karmella, while LEGS was gone last week, she showered me with comfort and affection, she even followed behind me the ENTIRE TIME I was cutting the grass...and she sits in the garden while I am wedding- which for her is pretty damn focused.  I could never live in NEVER NEVER LAND without here, her companionship is something I know that I can count on.  Its sad but true; she absolutely impresses me more than most the people I meet or know.....

I think you can probably tell in my blogs...and sentiment. That I have been disappointed by people lately.  Its just such a bummer when you are excited about the person, like you think they have changed, but they haven't. Or when you first meet them, you think you are going to have this fantastic friendship...and then....something happens and it becomes glaringly apparent that you could never have that relationship with them...it just sucks so BAD!  But I suppose its selfish of me to think or hope that they are capable of being this amazing person that I thought they were......NEXT!

I was listening to Robin Thicke Station on Pandora....while cleaning out the fridge (one of my least favorite chores). A song that I really like came on and I wanted to blast it....but my subwoofer/speakers is American....I called out to LEGS in the living room 'LEGS, do you believe in Fair Treatment for YOUR EMPLOYEES?'

LEGS:' HUH? Yeah...why?'

ARMS:' Because I really want my music loud while I slave away...'

Gotta love a man of action.  He dug my set up out of the attic, plugged it into the transformer and HOOKED ME UP!  Next thing I know I am ready to rip his uniform off....who would have thought a subwoofer would be such a turn on?

This ENTIRE week the neighbors probably think I have been partying NON STOP! I have been blasting my music like crazy.....its the little things in life!

I have fallen hard for Cycling.  I find it to be just as exhilarating as boxing; it is consuming, mentally challenging, strategic, and difficult.  I thrive on that.  I am satisfied I have filled the void and I don't have to get punched in the head anymore to be fit or feel intoxicated with a herculean task...I just LOVE that IMPOSSIBLE challenge.  

I rode my A** OFF with LEGS this past weekend, and while at times I struggled to keep up with him....this is NOTHING NEW for me, I have been the underdog my whole life, I have been fighting my WHOLE life to keep up, show up, and beat up THE BOYZ, I feed off the adversity, I am fighting against a billion years of NATURE- what's your excuse???

'I, with deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, wo makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. - Anais Nin

I am so lucky to have a husband who supports me when I am unable to keep up with him, but still blindly believes that I will.  

There was a moment in my life this passed weekend, where my husband looked at me....he peered deep into my soul and my heart and told me 'I Love You More Than Anything in The World.' and I looked back at him with the same passion and said 'I Love You Back'...and we hugged each other tight, (maybe shed a few tears) and thanked our lucky stars....

I was sad to wake up to Monday, we had such a great weekend.....

Movies that we watched that I recommend:

The Adjustment Bureau

Blue Valentine

Sucker Punch

Dedication of Sampson Veterans Memorial Cemetery

This is my Grandpa at a Dedication of Sampson Veterans Memorial in Romulus....He served in the Army during the 'Forgotten War'- although unconfirmed, he has a whole list of physical ailments that have been caused by his time in the Army. In this household- we are proud of him and thankful for his service....because we realize and understand that serving in the military (no matter how long/short) is a lifetime of SACRIFICE!

This Saturday my Sissy is going to run 6 miles in a race, and I am going to ride 60 miles on my bike- both of us are tackling this for the first time.  I find it amusing that our lives continue to run on a crazy paradox.  We both will be embarking on a frightening test of physical prowess....I am scared sh*tless....but when I feel like quitting- which may happen- I shall think of her- no SENSE in freaking out it will only waste my energy....so I told her we should both put it out of our minds then take one step and one mile at a time- and look at the big picture...only when finished.....

I went to IKEA for the first time this week.  I can see the appeal of it if you are remodeling your house.  But....since I am not....my impression of it was YEAH....ITS COOL....so ANYWAYZ, that being said I did score some things we NEEDED...

FITNESS STATUS:

Days 4,5,6 and half of 7 on the ADVOCARE CLEANSE:

Weight Day 1: 142lbs.

Weight Day 7: 138 lbs.

I have had a few things working against me these last few days, first of all I have been out and about- which makes my options and influences to be bad on the cleanse more prominent and powerful.

Its hard to spend time with people who have poor eating habits, and its hard to resist the bad things when the good options are not that appealing....but I was more powerful than peer pressure.

Also, LEGS was flying nights, so I was hungry and tired and there was nobody here to hold me accountable, but I managed to hold myself accountable.

Today I am feeling stronger, and am hoping to power through our social event we have tonight.

I feel great.  These are the things I have noticed; my skin looks more radiant, no dark circles, less wrinkles/tired/worn out look, the whites of my eyes are whiter.  My waist is looking slimmer and I am started to shred (my abs are starting to show!).  My energy is higher, my mood is happier, and I feel more satisfied.

I have slowed my exercise down these last few days in anticipation of our super long ride tomorrow, and I have also slightly increased my consumption of COMPLEX CARBS....

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight.  Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward.  Your life will never be the same again. -Og Mandino

Do it....and get back to me.....

Random Thoughts:

GAH! German is HARD!!! 

GAH! I need to BLOG!!!

GAH!

I love that sound GAH! 

On the last stripe of Rylee's blanket.....YAY!

(heavy sigh) People exhaust me......its like for every day I spend with people I need 4 days to recover.....

I keep getting told I should be a personal trainer....NOPE....couldn't do it- people are too lazy and don't want to change.....

Man....why do I give people so many excuses....its obvious why they are the way they are.....its the choices they make- yet I have a hard time holding them accountable? What happened to Accountability? I think it may have disappeared with the self-esteem movement.....

I want to eat cheese.....and I bought new wine glasses...so I want to drink wine out of them......

I HATE that food has power over me.....

I have been thinking.....maybe changing the world is impossible, maybe all you can do is change yourself?  

Please help me be the person my dog thinks I am......

Just....another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**

My Story of Weight GAIN and Weight LOSS...**

HEY BLOG!


Weather Report via Karmella: It was cold and I thought summer was over, but today....I have been basking in the sun all day with my big pink tongue hanging out.


Exchange Rate: 1 Euro = $1.41


My latest adventure: ADVOCARE 24 Day CHALLENGE!


FITNESS STATUS:


I got all my supplies for the cleanse at the grocery store, I am feeling excited, determined, and stoked to start...but....first....I enjoyed my cup of coffee, and my cheese, and my wine.....

Let me recap my journey to better fitness for you.


Genetically, I am blessed with a very skinny mother and a not so trim father.  This works out brilliantly when you are a teenager/early 20's female because you are skinny, but you have SOME curves.  


Everything was great (except the love handles- always had them) until I was diagnosed with ASTHMA.  It completely shut me down.  I was not an active person, but I was blessed with a VERY skinny out of shape body.  I remember I could hardly walk down the street without getting winded...this happened while I was a junior in High School.


I didn't properly manage my ASTHMA UNTIL I was 21 years old.  And even then the idea of running anywhere was ridiculous.  I remember it really used to bother LEGS....he used to say things to me suggesting I exercise, What a kind man, he never made me feel fat or ugly, he always said I would feel better if I was more active.


Here is the real kicker- I also quit smoking when I was 21.  Yes.  I had ASTHMA and smoked.  Turns out your not too bright when your young....


Up until this point my dietary choices were deplorable.....the ONLY reason I was skinny is because I smoked and didn't eat much.  The not eating part happens when you are romantically involved with a RECON Marine at the START of a NEW WAR.


At 22 I got a job that required a physical fitness test, it was a guard at the Fort Richardson Gate.  I had to run a mile 13 minutes, 12 Push Ups, and about 20-30 sit ups.  


I BARELY passed these standards.  And.....it was HUMILIATING......I decided with the support of another friend- I would NEVER embarrass myself like that again.  I started small- I would go to the gym 3 days a week and exercise.


I remember burning 100 calories on the Eliptical was a HUGE achievement.  Then I started lifting weights.....but I was doing it wrong.  


Around this time I was diagnosed with a Auto Immune Disease called Hashimoto's or Hypothyroidism.  I was really, really, really sick.  One of the side affects of this disease is rapid and severe weight gain.  At the peak of my illness I weighed 164 lbs.  (Side Note: I always weighed around 125 lbs.)


I dug through my fat pictures and tried to find the worst ones.....but....I know for a fact I wasn't in many pictures because it also makes you depressed, mean, and psycho crazy.


Here is what I got:

While I held the weight pretty well....I didn't feel good, or self confident or attractive....and I was tired all the time- in part because of the disease, but also because I was living my life wrong.  Looking through those pictures last night, I have a drink in my hand more often than not, and I remember scarfing down whole pizza's, pizza rolls, mac and chese and lots of other heavy fatty meals....


Then I started thinking....I carry a gun for my job.  I grew up with 3 younger sisters, I have never been socked in the face.  If somebody wanted to take my gun and shoot me with it- they damn well could.  


So.....I walked into a boxing gym.  AND NEVER LOOKED BACK.


The first thing my Korean Coach did to me was grab the fat on my stomach and tell me 'Boxing NOT EASY.'  I spent the better part of three years getting my a** handed to me by EVERYBODY....but I would get stronger and stronger every day.  I kept with it.  I loved it. I felt empowered and strong.  And I fell madly in love with a violent and tough sport.  I was completely committed.


I practiced EVERY SINGLE DAY.  And by the end of three years, I was good- I mean really good.  I left Alaska on a high note in the boxing world.  I weighed 145 pounds.


When I moved to Alabama to be with LEGS....I met up with an OLYMPIC COACH.  


Up until this point- I wasn't too concerned with my weight as long as I was strong and working out- I rationalized my eating habits.  


But then I started competing and EVERYTHING was ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT.  Boxing is a weight managed sport, so you make weight or you don't fight.  


The OLYMPIC COACH FORCED ME! To be accountable for what I put in my mouth.  What I was eating and how much I weighed was imperative to competition.  


Then it became REAL.  I was working so hard and I could screw it all up if I showed up to the scales OVER weight.  


I remember one weekend, I over ate, after I did it I knew it was a mistake and I was SO AFRAID of Monday's practice.  Sure enough- I was doing calisthenics to work off all the food I SHOULD NOT have eaten.


My diet for that six months was fruits and veggies, lean protein and whole grains.....I will admit I also limited my water intake and replaced it with candy....during weigh in deadlines.....


The eating part of it was not the happiest part of my life.  


But.....I went from 145 to 130 lbs.  I did it with a healthy diet and RIGOROUS EXERCISE.

I won the 2010 National Golden Gloves (NOVICE) AND I ranked #7 a the US Nationals.  


Even still, I can't believe I did it.  And now....I have bragging rights for life.

What I learned in this time is that you have to use EXTREME discipline IF you want what you want- which is what we all want- a beautiful body.


Vanity is a real b*tch isn't it?


Eating healthy, especially when you have poor eating habits and have for YEARS is really hard to do.  I think it took me about three months to really embrace it.  I was totally addicted to sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and carbs that are hard for your body to use.  And the drinking....drinking was really tough for me to give up- my whole family LOVES to have a few drinks, when I left ALASKA I was drinking every night......in Alabama I would have A DRINK here and there during boxing.  


In addition, my time in the boxing world and weigh ins gave me the inside knowledge that weight is a tricky thing.  A ounce of water can put you over weight.  So many people don't realize that sometimes its not your weight its the inches...or even how you feel and the way you look.  I can't stand it when people say- I haven't lost any weight and I have been doing X, Y and Z......Trust me WIEGHT IS BIZARRE!


During our transition from the United States to GERMANY we were nomadic for several months......during this time- we ate OUT....A LOT. And DRANK A LOT  I weighed in on my birthday March 1st 2010, at 154 lbs.


I wanted to throw myself off a cliff......all that hard work had been completely lost!  


But...at least I knew what to do.  Plain old diet and exercise.  I started running, eating healthy and I got back down to 145lbs (February to June.)  


Then I got my Road Bike.  I realize I am a lucky girl, I live in Europe and have the opportunity over here to cycle anywhere I want to- and its relatively safe over here because of how prominent bicycles are as a mode of transportation.  Cycling has become my new passion, its as challenging as boxing mentally, and.....its easier on my body, and....it burns calories LIKE NO OTHER!


Now I am weighing in at 142 and I look pretty damn good.  


I have a friend that has been trying to get me to try ADVOCARE for awhile now.  I didn't have the time or the funds to do it until I got settled over here in NEVER NEVER LAND.  And she has been so adamant....(you know when somebody tells you something and they are really excited about it....and they just keep telling you how great it is?) I had to check this out for myself- surely nothing could be as awesome as she was claiming!?!


I ordered the 24 Day TRIM CHALLENGE.  

I weighed myself, measured, and took before pictures:

Day 1 of the ADVOCARE CLEANSE: I NEVER drink this much water....we are going cycling this morning....and  I know I am going to be hopping off my bike and bounding into the woods....to PEE!


Sure enough....there I was;


Getting naked, to pee......


While- you know.......LEGS' company commander rolled by....

Day 2 of the ADVOCARE CLEANSE:  


LEGS has been eating all kinds of yummy stuff next to me on the couch, but to battle this temptation I have brought out three bowls of fruit to choose from.


Day 3 of the ADVOCARE CLEANSE:


I am craving sugar, I miss cheese and fatty salad dressing.  I spent the better part of the day out in the garden (after my SPARK), cutting the grass, weeding and edging the side walk.  While I was out there (side note I live in a very small village in Germany, many of my neighbors are geriatric) an elderly neighbors dog got stuck behind a wood stack.  They are too old and frail to be getting down on their knees, climbing up anything or even walking on uneven ground.  In order for me to rescue the dog I had to climb on a roof, down into the stack to left the dog out.  By the time I rescued the dog three more neighbors came to watch.  They were over run with emotion! So this is what it feels like to be a SUPER HERO!?!


Day 3 of ADVOCARE CLEANSE CLOSE:  I accomplished ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I set out to accomplish today (which is ALWAYS a TALL ORDER), I did the P90x Shoulders/Arms/Ab Ripper workout since I pounded my legs into oblivion on the bike yesterday, mowed the LARGE yard, did some gardening, edged the sidewalk, did my German lessons, practiced Sewing, made dinner and now knitting- ALL because I feel FABULOUS!!! .*D


FOR REAL: The coolest thing about this ADVOCARE cleanse is SPARK- SPARK is a energy drink with Vitamins and Amino Acids- NO SUGAR and ONLY 45 Calories- not only does it give me a boost but it helps me really grind during my workouts and mentally focus on the task at hand- I WILL NEVER USE ANOTHER PRODUCT BECAUSE THIS IS SIMPLY THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED!!! ( OH and I am not profiting from saying this)


Here are some examples of meals I have eaten the last few days:

Salad with salmon on top; Sun Dried Tomato Dressing with Olive Oil

Small salad with half sweet potato; on the sweet potato I put olive oil, salt and pepper.

Snack: Rice Cake with Natural Peanut Butter,  Fresh Peach Slices.

Small Salad, squash and small piece of chicken....believe it or not I was stuffed!


So here is the TALLS and SMALLS of it:


Obviously I have some things working against me.  My asthma and my thyroid disease.  I have accomplished the IMPOSSIBLE.  So from here on out- I won't be giving anybody anymore excuses.  This blog has made me realize and quantify everything I have done to be a slimmer, fitter, healthier me, and ABSOLUTELY NONE OF IT HAS BEEN EASY.


If you want to get healthy, you will make the decision to do so.  ADVOCARE has been a great experience so far, and has really helped me focus on what I want for myself.  Its a little expensive....but seriously...so is eating nasty and sitting on your Beyonce' all day.  


FINAL MOTIVATION:


It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself a worthy cause, who at the worst, if he fails, at least he knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt


We all stumble.  So if you do, get back on again. Never give up.


Also, what this really boils down to and what everybody seems to forget, is that losing weight and getting fitter is a battle against your own self.  You can't blame it on anybody, or anything, you are responsible, accountable and have the ultimate power to change your life.


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**