Weather Report: Falling ICE, Frost, Rain and Sleet but still no SNOW.......
Exchange Rate: 1 Euro = $1.33 :D
PART 2 : The next day.....
When I woke up I was still feeling melancholy.....my Christmas songs were now mumbly, and flat.......honestly, I didn't even feel like getting a Christmas Tree any more........
I was upset because LEGS had sucked the holiday cheer from me....
In fact, it was like we switched roles- there he was smiling and bouncing around the house trying very hard to make it right with me....
UNBELIEVABLE......he robbed me of my happiness and was now using it himself......THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE.....
He said "Let's bring the dog too!"
In my mind: Oh Really LEGS? You want to bring the dog too?
Now I felt bad I was being a drag......
We hopped in the truck, LEGS, Karmella and I, and we drove out into the german country side......
Meanwhile I was testing him on his pilot knowledge- its always hard for me to do this because it seems like all the things he needs to know are when the helicopter is crashing and not when its flying.....
Once we got to the TREE PLACE.....we searched far and wide for THE PERFECT TREE......
Let me exaggerate on the searching far and wide part.
Every tree that I liked LEGS didn't, and every tree he liked was TOTALLY LAME.....no really- seriously I am a great judge of TREE-NESS. But LEGS flashed me his credentials- he used to go with his Dad every year to get the Christmas tree and I had never picked one out.....like this.......
Damn he beats me again.......
He likes the Tree's that have PERFECT TOPS and I like the tree's that have definitely been greedy in their photosynthesis.....I like 'em FAT.....
ALSO every tree that I liked was TOO TALL.....apparently I like them FAT and TALL......(YA THINK? LEGS isn't fat but....he's tall). And every tree he picked out was TOO SHORT......
He won the battle, we got a SHORTER tree than I wanted and it had a PERFECT TOP.....and it was PRETTY FAT......two out of three......
When we got the tree to the check out stand, LEGS said "I thought this tree was bigger......" YOU THINK!?!
When we got home, he said "Babe- I need to trim some off the bottom so that it reaches down into the water....."
By the time our tree was in HOUSE, in STAND, I swear it had shrunk like 3 times! For being an expert he sure was a ROOKIE......
After the tree was finally settled LEGS had to go to a friends house to "STUDY".....it always amazes me how dumb men think we are.....It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize this friend he was going to visit has a brand new, very large Television that is hooked up to a XBOX complete with a brand new game that is all the rage.......
(heavy sigh) What can you do?
So.....I guess I'll decorate the tree myself......
When we left OBI we had three boxes of Christmas lights. I didn't think that it would be enough lights, but due to the GRINCH like difficulty I was encountering I had given up the battle and just went with what Mr. Apache Pilot Grinch man wanted do.
I plugged in the biggest set of lights we had......
And.......
NOTHING......
They didn't light up........
&^%$#!!!!.......
*&$#@!........
&%$#@..........%$$#@(.........%$$#@#$%........
OKAY- THAT'S IT NOW I WAS TICKED!
AND DESPERATE......I spent two hours going through each light hoping for a miracle!
Its just so difficult over here to shop for things, its so expensive and inconvenient......now that we hadn't gotten the amount of lights I wanted and the set we had was broken I was completely set back....
Number ONE: I couldn't do a damn thing with the tree.......and they don't look good without lots of lights on them.....
Number TWO: Now I had to go back to the store and return them......
Let me school you on how to return things in Europe. You have to drive to the store- which is NEVER like driving to Walmart. Then you have to enter the store and request somebody who speaks english in german, then they have to find someone who speaks english, when the person who speaks english comes to you they tell you they speak very little english and its not very good, then you have to explain yourself, and hopefully exchange or return the item........its just INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED and INCONVENIENT......
LEGS left the house upset, I sat there and cried......I just get so frustrated that I let him influence the way I operate because......I am always right......
And he is wrong......so there I was hoping he was sitting at his buddies house being wrong in his wrongness......
But......you know he wasn't......
ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL......
It only took me an ENTIRE week to decorate the tree, the light fiasco was not as difficult at I had anticipated, and I did decorate the tree in intervals during bizarre times- like at 6am in the morning.......
LEGS just cleared his throat......(EVERY TIME HE CLEARS HIS THROAT I LOOK AT HIM AND FOCUS ON HIM BECAUSE I AM SO CONVINCED HE IS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING IMPORTANT)......
Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**
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