ARMS: I do all my own stunts......**

Hey Blog.....

TANK GirlZ Weather Story: Once upon a time there was a frightful storm and then it got really cold.  The End.

We had a severe Thunderstorm the other night.  There were sheets of rain, crashing thunder, ultra violet lightening, gale force winds and the power kept surging on and off. As I lay there in bed the thunder sounded like the movie Jurassic Park. It would rumble and vibrate the house very far away and the closer it got the more it would sound like a gigantic dinosaur running toward the house.   

The Scissor Situation: My friend Manda is a new mommy with her first baby.  She is a very cautious, aware, and particular mother, as she should be.  When we went over to their house the other night I was working on a knitting project. I kept very AWARE of my knitting needles and my little travel scissors while being in the Buford's home.  I told myself 'DO NOT LOSE TRACK OF THESE DANGEROUS WEAPONS.'

I realized later when we got home that I couldn't find the scissors anywhere.  I started to panic, part of me wanted to keep quiet so I wouldn't have to experience the shame in the admittance of being A NEGLECTFUL PERSON TO A SMALL BABY.  Even though Asher isn't mobile yet, the GUILT CONSUMED ME and I couldn't stand it anymore.  I hung my red face with embarrassment and texted Manda to let her know how IRRESPONSIBLE I had been.  She looked for them and couldn't find them, but told me not to worry.  

This troubled me, and I kept going over and over in my head how DANGEROUS and NEGLECTFUL I was to children.  I worried and worried and worried, where had those scissors disappeared to? Did they fall into the couch? Did they get left on the counter? Manda trusted me in her home.....Did they fall into somebody's pocket? Did Asher pick them up? I am going to be a horrible mother........Did Asher grab them? Did Asher hide them? Did Asher.....eat them? OH MY GOD MAYBE ASHER ATE THE SCISSORS!!! To calm myself down I pulled out my knitting.....and the scissors rolled out onto the floor....

Lease Lady: The other day LEGS went and spoke to The Lady at the property rental place.  While there she told him that he needed to get the carpets cleaned.  Here is the point of contention, LEGS swears she said we could do it ourselves, which is why I spent many many grueling hours shampooing the carpet.  

During our visit yesterday The Lease Lady insists that she would have never said that and that we have to have them professionally cleaned.  While I could tell that LEGS was about to blow his top next to me, I soothed over the tension by making arrangements to get the carpets professionally cleaned.  (This is one of those rare moments in life where I was Ghandi, and I peacefully dealt with my anger while influencing others to do the same.) 

But this is what bothers me.  She made one remark toward, yes I said TOWARD me about the carpet's being BRAND NEW BEFORE WE EVEN MOVED INTO THE PLACE.  Later on in the day I started to focus on this one snide comment she had made in my direction and proceeded to get HOT!  So......in order to deal with my anger in the most mature way possible this is what I am going to do:

ASHLEY (yes this is her real name) at Prestige Homes:  You are extremely difficult, objectionable, and unpleasant female, you should look up this definition in the dictionary, there is nothing 'Prestige' about you.  Yes the carpets were BRAND NEW when we moved into the house, and they were also the cheapest ugliest carpets you could find.  The carpets are still in impeccable condition, as well as the rest of the house. I am directing this information TOWARD you: We left that house in better condition then we found it in, which was dirty and run down. In the event you have some contention I will meet you at any time and any place. P.S. I do all my own stunts.

Today LEGS and ARMS got into a big fight it went like this:

LEGS told me that he told me to do something.  I don't remember this thing that he supposedly told me.  Here is the grand debate in my perspective:

LEGS: 'I am an Officer. You are a child.'

ARMS: F@#* You!

LEGS: NO! F*&# You!

Then we sat there in silence and daydreamed. 

Number one, most fights are usually because one or both people are tired or hungry or both tired and hungry.  Turns out we were both. 

Number two, right after this incident we both apologized.

Number three, a couple we both know got a whiteboard in their house, every time they say something mean to each other they have to write it on the white board.  Turns out neither has said one mean thing yet because neither one wants to put it up on the board.  Since we are traveling right now, we just say "I'm sorry that deserves to go on the white board."  When we get to NEVER NEVER LAND, guess what we our first purchase from IKEA will be?  

We checked into the Daleville Inn.  Daleville is sleepy town on the other side of Fort Rucker.  I had my suspicions about this place, I figured it might be pretty run down and ghetto.  It turns out its not, but my gut wasn't that far off instead its just BIZARRE.  

YES.....that is a FURRY HEADBOARD....

Last night LEGS was leaning up against the headboard, I said:

ARMS: 'I wonder how many people have made whoopi in here?' As I stroked the fur.  

LEGS: Immediately adjusted his position so that he was not touching the fur headboard.

 

Random Thoughts and Stories: 

We went to a goodbye dinner for one of our dear friends from Alaska the other night.  He was LEGS' stick buddy during primary, and we never knew him until we got down here.  Anywhoo, one of the gentlemen at dinner said something like this: 'His wife is a real sweetheart.' (this was not sarcastic) So I asked him what describing noun he would give me.  He said: 'I would say, she's a fighter and she can kick your ass!' DAMN STRAIGHT! 

LEGS really LIKES SPACE BAGS!

I am really sick of cleaning......

Its 730pm and I am ready for bed.

I really wish I had all of my stuff, but we are traveling and you can't have every little thing your heart desires.  

I don't know how many times I have walked upstairs, opened the door, turned on the light.......to my empty closet, wanting another item of clothing or pair of shoes.....

Over & Out....

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**