What in the hell is wrong with me?**

Dear Blog.....

What in the hell is wrong with me? I haven't felt much like writing or drawing but I promised to chronicle the experience of a military wife so here goes:

Weather by Tank Girl: Rain in Alabama and Rain in Georgia. Go Figure.

I have been feeling exhausted lately.  I suspect its a combination of things:

-drinking more than usual
-eating an obscene amount of junk
-a bed where you can feel the springs through the fabric
-hectic days filled with crazy last minute errands mixed with periods of nothing to do but lounge
-saying goodbye to people that I love
-the overwhelming stress of traveling and living in unfamiliar areas.

I keep telling myself.......soon I will have more than enough time to rest. 

Our flight is tomorrow night at 6pm.  Since we spent most of the day today signing out of the ARMY, getting out of the hotel in Enterprise and driving to Atlanta, we need to get up early tomorrow and ship the TANK. We have to check out of the hotel at 11am, and catch a ride on the shuttle to the airport.  

Obviously....I am not looking forward to being stuck at the airport hanging out for 7 hours until our flight leaves, but with no car and being on a budget I am not sure how much of a choice we have.  


Our flight is direct from Atlanta to Frankfurt and is about 9 hours long.  Once we land in Frankfurt we have to catch another shuttle for the two hour ride to Illesheim.  It is shaping up to be a very long journey.....with a dog.

I have been feeling nervous, anxious, scared, excited, my heart has been beating fast, I have been feeling a little sad, tired, melancholy.  When I have said goodbye to my friends I have felt sad, but hopeful that I will see them again.  When I have spoke to my friends and family I have felt excited that they are excited but also a little depressed I will be so far away.  

Karmella has been handling all the changes very well and I have been clinging to her for comfort.  LEGS has been quieter than usual which is hard to imagine since he is practically mute, but I think he is nervous too about being a "rookie" at the new duty station etc.  

Its just always scary and final when you decide to do something so big, being cautious my entire life it is sometimes hard to let go of the control that I like to always have. 

We checked into another hotel today in Atlanta.  I told LEGS we should make reservations for the hotel early....yeah.....he didn't...so today when we got here the only thing available was a room with double beds and a smoking room.  I just love smelling like an ash tray and sleeping alone......can you hear the sarcasm?  If LEGS thinks he is getting Karmella tonight he is sadly mistaken..... 


Okay, now that I have written the most depressing blog in the world, I want everybody to know that sometimes endings are sad and sometimes change is hard.  I don't want anybody to think that I am depressed or not absolutely THRILLED to be going to NEVER NEVER LAND!


Random Thoughts:


Why is everybody starring at us? 


Damn it stinks!


The salt on my margarita tastes stale.


I sound negative....and depressed.......


I have been calling all my family members and friends today and it is a little depressing.....

I wish I was a better more relaxed traveler. 


I always try to see the best in people, to believe they are innately good in nature, and the mistakes they make are just mistakes, but this whole entire premise has been seriously challenged the last few years and its damn hard not to become jaded.


Over & Out...


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**