My Goodie Box...My room mate....**

HELUUUR BLOGGY HOGGY...


Weather Conditions in NEVER NEVER LAND: HOTTER THAN BLAZES....


I don't know about you but I am sighing a huge sigh of relief....its feels good to get that trying to conceive bun out of the oven....I can never remember who knows, who doesn't know, if we told them, if we should tell them, if they are wondering, do they care....I can't keep it straight...


So....I have been reading the 'How to Get Your Body Ready/How to Get Pregnant' Books....


Penny for my thoughts?


Um....the mere fact that ANY of us are here is a total miracle....I know, I know, our parents have told us this, our health teachers and countless others have pounded into our brains that giving birth, and human life is a miracle.....


I just want to clarify what the word "miracle" means in the dictionary...


Miracle Definition according to webster: an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing or accomplishment...


So....we are all just UNUSUAL EVENTS....walking, talking, eating UNUSUAL EVENTS....in my mind- you ONLY become a MIRACLE when you conduct your life as one....I'm sorry but I am not willing to classify some of the people that I have known/know in my life as "Miracles"  call me a hater...


I AM!


And....I cannot begin to tell you how many SEX ED, Health, Biology, Psychology, AT THE COLLEGE LEVEL classes I have been to in my life..... I have never really grasped how hard it seems to be...to GET pregnant.....


I also wish I would have been a little LESS giggly and a little MORE mature during these totally ridiculous presentations, because it sure would help me out now.....I mean- do they give adult SEX ED classes??? And if I did go back would I be able to keep a straight face?  


I am thinking.....NOT.


The irony in this life filled with pills, lectures, "barriers", awkward conversations, secrets, lies, appointments, red faced, shame filled, day in and day out worries that (GASP!) We should EVER get pregnant are having this profound and surreal affect on me.....


Getting PREGNANT up until this point in my life was like a COMPLETE TRAGEDY, so all of these rituals, practices, worries, and private tendencies have been completely tossed out the window- I am kinda freaking out over here.....


For instance......


I have been taking a pill, every single day since I was 15 to prevent a baby.  In May, I threw away that ritual....and still haven't......


See?  See what I mean? Its like I can't even utter the vocabulary...


I am not calling my Menstrual Cycle Aunt Flo....I'm not doing it.  Think about all the poor Aunt Flo's out there......


After contemplating I have decided my "Cycle" (as my Father used to refer to it) is MISS DOT.

Since May I have missed MISS DOT.  Yep, nothing, zilch, natta....MISS DOT has not made her debut.  


So as I am sure you are thinking right now...I am pregnant....NO.  NO I am NOT pregnant.  Have I taken a Pregnancy Test.  Yes.  A few of them actually.  I am not pregnant.


We have been using a "barrier" method instead....and have been REALLY CAREFUL.  I say if I am pregnant....I am the new Mary Magdalene...and LEGS' "LEGIONS" as he refers to them can punch through LATEX!


So that is what we are waiting for...MISS DOT.


Other thoughts:


Did you know when you decide to get pregnant, you can talk about Whoopi openly?  Yeah its like this really cool thing, suddenly you can call The Daddy up and start chatting about Whoopi....this would be the same person that you have PURPOSEFULLY, DRASTICALLY, and DRAMATICALLY run away screaming from during Sex Scenes, Sex Jokes, Sex Talks, Sex Comments, and the WHOLE idea of him or you ever having SEX....


Not only that but you can suddenly talk openly with anybody you want about FERTILITY, SPERM, VAGINAS, CERVIXES, PENISES, and the list goes on and on.....


So all that private, secret, lying stuff that happens while your growing up is now gone...You can talk about it all you want- no more shame, no more red faced awkward stuff- because now that you are trying to get pregnant everything is okay now....


OH yeah and in these books that I am reading, they keep telling you that you need to check your "Cervical Mucus."


OKAY HOLD UP.....


Huh? Wha?


Okay, so some of you may be the types that has spent hours just like Samantha from SEX and The City becoming intimate with your Goodie Box.  But, I am more like Charlotte.  

This is the kind of relationship me and the Goodie Box have.  Its like a room mate. We live together.  We have some good times.  I don't ask questions and I don't need to know what is happening behind closed doors.  Yes, my Goodie Box has a door, I allow two things through that door, toiletries for MISS DOT, and I let Mr. Good & Plenty make his routine   deposits to the said Goodie Box.

These books have me thinking, questioning and wondering...


Am I a prude?  Should I get to know my Goodie Box better?  


But....


I'M AFRAID! I'm terrified....what if I find something weird? Or what if I break something?  And truthfully...I am grossed out by this mucus thingy...


And one last thing I am having anxiety over.....


The Dreaded Gender Issue:


I just want a healthy baby.


But.......


Some family members really want a certain gender.....


I have done the reading, and have heard about some crazy things people will do to up their chances for pink or blue, but so far the science says its a 50/50 shot.


I am having some strong opinions about the gender thing.  First of all, one- as I have proven in my PERSONAL LIFE- is not better than the other. 


AND THIS IS MY OPINION....


I am not big on the traditional gender customs we as American's have.  I feel like we start shaping BOYZ and GIRLZ to be a certain type of person too early.   


I don't like all the frilly pink stuff on baby girls and I am not afraid to put my hypothetical son in colors other than blue....


Some people say that its nice to give people hints about gender because the awkwardness that happens when there is a mistake.  My feelings on this matter; first of all a baby doesn't know the difference so your not hurting my feelings or the baby's feelings by messing up the gender....


Second- I have strong feelings on this because I was raised to be a definite GIRLY GIRL- it wasn't until later in life that I learned I could do things that boys do just as well if not better.


My primary objective for my hypothetical child is to raise them up to be the "Miracle" as mentioned above, by completing the task of sending them out in the world with all the necessary skills to survive and live well, and second- to make whatever partner they choose a very happy man or woman regardless of sexual orientation.....


My solution for this is to keep the gender of the baby a complete secret- even LEGS and I won't know.......


Perhaps I will change my mind- 


And....


I am now realizing I am way ahead of myself....we aren't even pregnant yet.....


Well, 


let me check.....


Yep, Not Pregnant.....


Subject Change:


http://foxnewsinsider.com/2011/08/25/fallen-navy-seals-dog-refuses-to-leave-master%E2%80%99s-side-at-funeral/


LEGS and I bawled and sobbed on the couch after watching/reading about this.  Karmella: I LOVE YOU!!! You make me a better person, you COMPLETE me!


Random Thoughts:


I HATE when I have one million things to do but...I'm not sure what priority they should be done in...does anybody else have this issue??? Its times like this where I just want to say 'Ya know! FRACK IT! I am just going to sit and KNIT....YA! SO THERE! (Insert Guilty Conscience, SPARK from ADVOCARE, Sudden Motivation to be Productive)...


I have no idea what I am doing....I made this garden, grew, weeded, watered and nurtured the plants and now I have no idea what I am doing...all this stuff is ready to come out of the garden and I have no idea how to can/preserve any of it....let alone the supplies.....


On a positive note:  Tonight's dinner was 90% from the garden and ADVOCARE approved!!! Tomato relish with red onion, basil, olive oil, and italian seasoning on blackened chicken, Sweet Corn, Green Beans, and Fresh Salad with peaches, avocado and ginger dressing- this is the satisfaction I have been wanting to feel all summer long....


MMMMKAY....this is me playing NICE...FRG stand for FAMILY READINESS GROUP, the money raised by this group is used to make the unit deploying and spouses a more cohesive unit, it is all used to assist the familes while the unit is deployed, some examples of how these monies are spent; welcome gifts, baby gifts, events, AND in EMERGENCY SITUATIONS like Casualties, Car Accidents, Medical Complications etc.


The "Healthy Alternatives" Basket that has been placed in the COCK PIT for the LOST BOYZ is two fold- not only do we accept DONATIONS for the items in the basket, we are providing out of the goodness of our hearts healthy items to keep YOU sustained while conducting your Missions for our Country.....IT IS NOT, I REPEAT IT IS NOT TO 'TAKE AWAY' from the 'FRIDGE FUND' you JACK BALL...**


I attended a Coffee this morning with a quick lecture on Self-Esteem and also listened to the audio book the 5 languages of LOVE this past weekend, while I sometimes think we are too concerned with Self-Esteem these days and LEGS and I are happily married, I was able to pin-point some weaknesses of mine, the sad truth is that I need to speak more softly to my husband, starting today I am going to begin sentences with 'I WOULD LIKE IT' INSTEAD of 'I NEED YOU TO'.....**



Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife ('s HEAD)....**