LEGS' LEGS........**

Hey BLOG....

Weather Chronicle brought to you by TANK GIRLZ little Super Dog Karmella: All Weekend it has been BLUE SKIES AND SUNSHINE!!!  

All over NEVER NEVER LAND there is fields and fields of dandelions!!!

I am happy to announce that the American dollar has increased in value over the weekend, it now cost $1.45 American Dollars for 1 Euro, still not great...but better than it was.

On Friday night we went out on the town, to a "pre-Gunnery" party at the Plaza- which has an outdoor bar area.   I was incredibly proud of my outfit; Black Shiny Wedge Heels, Distressed and Ripped up Jeans with Red Belt, a Black Tank with Snake Skin Patterned Tinsel, LEGS' man jacket and Grandpa Pollock's Gentlemen's Hat. LEGS is so cool I was dressing up like him......

We rode the train downtown, with "Roadies" of Champagne, stopped at the smoke shop and got some Cuban Cigars, and hit the Plaza with our friends. 

It was a great night....I especially enjoyed the part where a bunch of us were in the elevator and some of the guys were asking me to hit them as hard as I could in the face......I told them I wasn't going to break my hand on their faces but I would hit them in the body....(yes...we were all intoxicated)...so I hit this one dude as hard as I could in the Liver and he crumpled to the floor.....WHOOPSY.....

KayBear- this is a friend of mine that is Pregnant, they are having a girl in the beginning of June- I forced her to take a picture with me because its the closest I have been to a PREGGO! Sending you some belly love and laughs from NEVER NEVER LAND!!!


When LEGS and I arrived home we drunk skyped The Daddy over Doner's.  


On Saturday....I mostly just spent the day annoyed with LEGS.  I wonder if other wives experience this phenomena.....here it is...the dirty dirty...


LEGS and I woke up at a decent hour due to the previous nights alcohol intake we could not sleep in longer then 8:30am. We enjoyed coffee over some internet time....and then I asked him what the day looked like to him.  We mulled over a few idea's and settled on a plan......


But then......LEGS just kept doodling on the internet......which was NOT the plan.....


And I waited for a long long time for the execution of the agreed upon plan and then I got tired...of waiting.....so I snoozed on the couch while I waited......and before you knew it it was 2pm......and I was still waiting...


OMG......LEGS decided to start the day at 2PM!.....

He wanted to wash his Baby....being the kind, generous wife that I am....I thought to myself.....'He's going to the field for a month, I should let him do what he wants to do today.....' 

So I told him 

ARMS: 'Yeah Go wash the car babe!'


Apparently washing your car takes 3 hours......he robbed me! Totally robbed the charity in my heart....took advantage of my kindness....I wanted to let the man wash his car but I was hoping to also get him to help me with a few things too!?!


Nothing like going to a BBQ with friends pi**ed off at your husband......


Of course I received the puppy dog eyed apology in the car on the way over- but we all know he wasn't apologizing for the dirty deed he committed, he was apologizing so I wouldn't make him look like a JACK BALL in front of his friends......


(Heavy sigh....)Men.....you can't live with them...but when your married you kinda half to.......

I offered to drive to the BBQ so he could have a few beers with his friends the last few nights he was in town.....when we got home, he made me pull the Audi in the garage.....which makes me nervous doing....

The garages here in NEVER NEVER LAND are not the fancy ones you are familiar with in the states....instead....they are more like old- fashioned dungeons.....No automatic garage door, no lights.....


We both exited the car.....and there it was.....a GINORMOUS spider....casting its large shadow on the wall of the garage by way of the street light.....


I looked around and yelled:


ARMS: LEGS!?! He was no where to be seen....
LEGS: From behind me....'What?'
ARMS:'There's uh....uh.....' trembling.....
LEGS:'I see it.'
ARMS: I frantically got back in the car and shut the door- while shouting 'I can't come out of the garage until its dead!'
LEGS: 'You are such a B*tch...' BAM....GINORMOUS ARACHNID dead....Large carcass on the ground.....
ARMS: Exits the car in a hurry, bumping the car door on the side of the garage wall and does the heepy jeepy run, dance hauling a** out of that damn garage......


I have had nightmares ever since.....


And here is a life size portrait of Charlotte:

Imagine her on your computer screen.....


We don't have kids, and we don't have religion....so that takes all the fun out of Easter.  So......We decided to ride the train to Nurnberg for a Volksfest.  

Here is a spooky tunnel we had to walk through....

A Volksfest is a lot like a state fair in the states......except better.....

We rode the rides.....(NO LINES)

First the Ferris Wheel....

 

I love this picture its us in the mirror above our heads in the Ferris Wheel!

View from the Top!

Happily Ever After!

An Old Nazi Relic Where they used to hold Rallies..... 

Then we went on (horror movies sounds) the 13th Floor Tower of Terror!!!

LEGS flies APACHE's but was afraid....

Last but not least the Loopy Roller Coaster!!!

We drank good beer and high class cocktails.....(Caprahnina's)


We ate delicious food......the food....was......if heaven was food that is what we ate.....

 

 

LEGS left this morning for a month the field.  Its been a long time since we have been apart, and I thought all the years of deployments I would be used to him leaving, but I still feel the anxiety and desperation.  

Apparently the dog has the same anxiety; In her mind:
'Um....excuse me....where do you think your going?"

 

 

So far I have cleaned the entire house....set up more of the house, mowed the lawn, did large amounts of laundry, scrubbed the kitchen cabinets, worked in the Vegetable garden, and wrote this blog.......


The house is dead silent......


Guilty Pleasures:

Eating Fest Food.

Sleeping on the train because I know that LEGS is there to protect me and wake me up at our stop....instead of keeping him company....


Eating an entire bar of Ritter Sport Chocolate.


Sleeping in instead of helping LEGS get ready for the field.


Being judgmental of complete strangers....particularly their ensembles....

Random Thoughts and Stories:

When we were out Friday night there was a dog at the outdoor bar, it had a big pair of ballz, and they were smushed into the sidewalk....because he was laying down.....that's very interesting.....I don't think I have ever seen that before.

A round of shots was purchased......after everybody took the shots, one guy said "That sh*t just made me salivate...." Laugh's! That just happened....

Yesterday at the train station I looked down at LEGS' LEGS ......and I thought for sure he had a some sort of disease.......turns out its just REALLY dry skin- damn dude put some lotion on those scale covered twiggy gams!

Stay tuned for the next chapter in the Adventures of Tank Girl Blog: 30 Days ARMS without LEGS.....

OVER & OUT....

Just another Easter Weekend in the life of an unlikely military wife....**