Weather Logbook composed by KARMELLA BELLA (dooty doo!) FINALLY we have RAIN!!! We are doing the rain dance over here because our Garden needs rain to grow! Exchange Rate: 1 Euro equals $1.46 American Dollars.
Special Edition Day 2 & 3: ARMS without LEGS:
LEGS called me the first night in the field. (Smug look on my face) Yep he misses my high maintenance a** already.
This makes me laugh. I bet he will be so happy to come back to a nice clean house, home cooked meals, and clean laundry, that he will finally and happily start doing some 'Blue Chores' around this house without an act of NATO. Being a military spouse has its perks and this is one of them- please check back for future statistics.....
Shortly after this I started to feel sick.....I went to bed wondering, was I making myself sick with anxiety over LEGS being gone? Or was I legitimately coming down with something? Several Aleve, Airbourne, and 8 hours of sleep later....I was just fine....
When the Boyz (and when I say BOYZ, I mean it in the most respectful and including way since there are woman out there too) are in the field, all kinds of challenges and disruptions occur. Child Care, Doctor Appointments, Certain Blue Chores, and the list goes on and on still need to be accomplished without them. This is when everybody rallies, we accompany, help, support and endure all the possible up's and down's of LIFE WITHOUT MEN(and Women).
One of the Pilot's in Whiskey Company looks and acts JUST LIKE Conan O'Brien. In real life Conan is married to a gal named 'LIZA' for purposes of the blog this couple will be known as LIZA and CONAN. They have a daughter and I have nicknamed her Thumbelina.
LIZA is sick with a syndrome called Fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is a syndrome that is the most common arthritus-related illness after osteoarthritus. Still, it is often misdiagnosed and misunderstood. Its characteristics include widespread muscle and joint pain and fatigue as well as other symptoms. Being a person that has personally suffered with an auto-immune disease (Hypo-Thyroid Disorder- which is also misdiagnosed and misunderstood) I agreed on the spot to help LIZA with anything she needed.
In NEVER NEVER LAND, it is not uncommon to have to travel long distances to receive specialized health care. LIZA had a special Doctor's appointment up in Ramstein, this week.....while the BOYZ were gone.....with Thumbelina (toddler who just turned 2 years old). During her special appointment she may have needed a treatment which would have prevented her from driving herself home.
Since GIRLZ JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN!, Three of us decided to make it a fun trip. We would travel to Ramstein a day early, shop at the JUMBO PX/Commissary, eat at all the American Food Restaurants, stay the night, and help LIZA with Thumbelina. It was our Adventure to AMERICA IN NEVER NEVER LAND!
We hopped in the VAN, got on the autobahn and away we went to RAMSTIEN on Tuesday morning. We arrived in the late afternoon and decided to do some shopping.
I know what the 3 men that read my blog are thinking.....typcial....typical women. But let me clarify our situation. Our access to American priced, American Goods is pathetic down here at Illeshiem.....trust me we were doing Mankind a favor by shopping at this location- its called 'the closest thing to a WALMART in NNL.'
While its reputation proceeded itself as the largest PX (PX is where you can buy EVERYTHING but FOOD.) I was a little disappointed because the things that I needed weren't available. For example 220V Lamps, Bedding that is not absolutely hideous, and other gadgets like a blender, hair dryer, and iron that are 220- they had some but nothing LEGS would approve of. (heavy sigh....being married to a gizmo sucks.....)
I was modest, I bought Mother's Day Cards, a birthday present (since THE Mommy screws me every single May) with her birthday and Mother's day, a dog bed for Karmella- because don't ask me how or why but her's completely disappeared in the move, and some mascara.
We acquired a big healthy dose of American Cuisine at the Macaroni Grill. Stocked up on snacks and food items that cannot be found at our local Commissary a.k.a. a small Pantry....and headed to the hotel.
I decided.....against my better judgment....to bring Karmella. I really want her to become a better traveler so that she can come with me when I take trips. Back in the States I took her with me in the car all the time, but I never kenneled her, she was always in my lap or in the passenger seat next to me.
In NEVER NEVER LAND they are very particular about the dog being kenneled or separate from the main cabin (i.e. doggie gate etc.) So.....Karmella struggles with that because she wants so much to be with everybody else. The struggle includes a very annoying persistent whining noise that is made continuously......on the way up she did pretty good.....but on the way back.....not so much.....also traveling with a dog has its drawbacks, they have to be walked and we were on the top floor, they have a certain neediness that is annoying when you have a lot of other things going on, and I often wonder the same way parents do with their kids if she is annoying everybody else?
A few other observations:
You really shouldn't bring a dog when your also caring for a two year old toddler.
It takes an ARMY to raise a child.
SINGLE PARENTHOOD WITH NO HELP IS IMPOSSIBLE!
I love kids and have contemplated having children and have decided that YES....kids are in our future. But DAMN.....kids are a lot of work, and this of course is no indication of sweet Thumbelina or LIZA....
The things that I struggled with:
Have you ever had a child decide they don't want the banana you just gave them and return it after its been in their mouth???
Or reach for you and touch your things with their gooey hands???
Dump Food, Juice, and all other substances on themselves???
Test your patience???
Have you ever told a sweet darling child to:
"Stop!"
"Don't!"
"Put your feet down"
" Use your words"
"Bottom in the chair!"
8000 bazillion gazillion times???
 |
| Is this Child Abuse or Animal Cruelty??? |
And this same child hands you riddles such as:
What is the proper way to change a diaper? How could that stink so bad?
What is the best way to feed a toddler? How long is this supposed to take?
Entertain a toddler? Hand Sanitizer....bad idea.....plastic bag.....bad idea.....anything in YOUR purse....bad idea....
How could that have happened so fast???
Why are kids so gumby and flexible??? How do they move so quick and how is it possible they become so heavy in several seconds???
Or why do they put EVERYTHING in their mouths???
In case you didn't know.....Gravity Sucks....
After the Doctor's appointment we returned for more shopping. I bought LEGS and I some clothes....even though I know I shouldn't have.....it was so elevating to have access to American Clothes at American Prices....
We ate lunch in America. I had to have Baskin Robbins Ice Cream before I left, and I bought Thumbelina some too.
On the car ride home, I started to feel tired. Not because Karmella was whining her head off, or because I ate like a fat kid on a diet all weekend, or because Thumbelina wore me out....but because.......
I see these women. They are strong, so strong for living this life of constant change, constant absences, erratic schedules and the fear.....the fear of loneliness, the fear of fear....the fear of losing their entire lives as they know it......add on top of that a beautiful child....and health problems.....it started to sink in......
There really is NO POSSIBLE WAY LIZA could have made that trip by herself. NO WAY. She absolutely needed our help.
If you are a military spouse you absolutely have to be prepared to be a single parent for long periods and possibly forever.....right before my eyes this weekend, I saw how incredibly heroic it is to bring a child into the world knowing you will be alone like that......and it scared me....
I was exhausted.....I had no more to give.....and I got quiet.....
Sometimes the world becomes too much for me to handle.....the pain, the struggle, my own neurotic tendencies, and all the complications become too much for me to bare witness to, I wish so badly I had a magic wand, and that I could take away all the bad things these Heroic Women DON'T NEED.....but.....I haven't learned to control my power that well yet.....
Right before we got home, another wife called and asked me to accompany her to a Doctor appointment on Monday. She was fragile as glass on the phone, almost in tears.......I of course agreed to go with her...but.....
I didn't know what to say to comfort her.....I tried to make her feel better...but I fear....I failed......
When we arrived at my house...I couldn't escape out of the VAN fast enough- I was drained and needed some down time....
The very same child I had said negative things to the ENTIRE WEEKEND......reached for me, and when she realized that I was leaving her, she burst into a zillion tears, and tried to come with me.....
IMA SUCKER.....she melted my heart into a million pieces....how could a kid that I just said 'NO!' too a billion times this weekend like me so much???
I was able to unwind, and talk to LEGS. I told him I didn't know what to do.....people were coming to me for help and I didn't think I could help them....because I didn't have the magic pill or special powers to fix the problems.
He told me they were coming to me because they see me as being strong.
(Side Story: When I left my job in AK, I was devastated......for the first time in my life I was helping people and making a difference in the world- I had found my calling....I was saving the world one kid at a time.....and although it was difficult and draining work.....:
I would rather live a life of meaning, then a life of happiness....)
In addition; my phone rang off the hook today, and most of it was invitations to other events where children are highly involved.....
Have you ever seen a man shopping......and you see what he has on and its ALL WRONG....and there he is shopping for the same kinda wrong? And you just want to go over there and say 'Nah man.....let me change your life....STOP BUYING THAT!!!!'
Besides LIZA, another Lady accompanied us....I haven't decided on a nickname for her yet...but I will very soon....her and I were to share the double bed in the hotel......so she and I joked at Macaroni Grill that we were celebrating our 'One Day Anniversary.' It didn't work out.....we have Intimacy Issues....the entire night for fear of making the other person uncomfortable we slept on opposite sides of the bed.
Somebody told me that LEGS has started a movement. A fashion movement (which if you knew my husband you should be laughing out loud right now)....apparently.....his MAN OF STEEL UNDIES are showing up on men in Oregon, his home state.
I am just throwing this out there.....But I swear to God, if my child after I change its sh*tty diapers, disrespects me......oooooooh somebody better call Child Services......
I know its not until next Sunday, but it seems like a perfect blog to put this in.
Happy Mother's Day to ALL the Mom's out there, it became CRYSTAL CLEAR to me these last few days how hard it is to raise a child.
And a very special Mother's Day to the Mom's that brought these amazing men into our lives! (To Queen Di, sorry LEGS is in the field, but I know he wishes you a very Happy Day indeed!)
And a very very Special Mother's Day to THE MOMMY, you did good MOMMY, you did good..... if I do say so myself....
Over & Out
Just day 2 & 3 of ARMS....without LEGS.....in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**
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