Life Flashes Before Your Eyes....**: He just has 1 bad habit.....Sh*tting Himself....**

Hi Blog!

Weather Report: BRRRRRR!

Exchange Rate: Its going back up.... $1 USD = 1.37 Euro

I held another consecutive STITCH & BITCH Saturday despite my emotional state with Jake's passing. I think I had 17 Bad A** Chicks show up. It felt good to have a full house, and from the bottom to the very tip top of my heart- I was so thankful. First to the UNIVERSE for such compassionate and warm hearted friends- Second to all the ladies that GRACED and HONORED me with THEIR laughter, food, company, stories and comforting HUGS. I will be missing them and their delectable treats until next month. I am just so happy and thankful for their generosity, friendship, and for making my life so much more bearable during this time....

I went for a run on Sunday- I needed to run out my emotions about Jake. I ran for him, I had no idea how far I would go or when I would be back, but I wanted to give him everything I had....and I did....I ran about 6.5 miles....

Since the LOST BOYZ have been away all the wives have been pitching in and helping each other out. I feel like all I have done is move furniture, fix cars, watch kids, and call to do welfare checks.....While I am exhausted and I have had hardly any time to sit down and relax it fulfills me to do this work, and makes me feel like "WE CAN DO IT!" We can do anything!

At the same time.......

We are fragile......

Ever since the LOST BOYZ left every single wife has been attached to her phone....LITERALLY LIKE A BALL CONNECTED TO A CHAIN CONNECTED TO OUR LEGS.....we have been dragging, checking, holding, and re-checking our cell phones all awaiting for a call from our SOLDIERS....

There have been a couple of break downs too.....I watched a newly wed with a deployed soldier break down and seriously cry under the incredible weight of the anxiety and burden she carries sick with worry, her angst was so heavy she had us all sobbing in our lunch....because the smart ones realize this will be us soon enough.....

I cuddled with a two year old this week (after I witnessed him and his brother blow kisses to each other), he spent several minutes telling me about his "Daddy" who flies helicopters, I smelt his hair and laid him to bed, than I listened to him talk himself to sleep, it breaks my heart that these military kids have to suffer through the long absences as well....from a selfish standpoint; I have never been so jealous of all the MOMMIES out there in the world- you may think that I have everything...but I don't have that.....

Sometimes....the WORLD is too much for me...it hurts me to see the things I see and experience the things I experience....I DEAL by exercising....I did 5 miles on the treadmill today (too windy to run out side) plus a chest and back workout, I thought about the things that hurt and even shed a few tears....I am getting STRONG so that while LEGS is away- IF ANYBODY EVEN DREAMS OF HURTING ME- ITS GOING TO BE A MUCH BIGGER TASK THAN THEY HAD IMAGINED......

Ever since LEGS has been gone I have been working out a lot. I sleep better and I deal with my pent up emotional distress this way, I hope to inspire the other wives to get stronger, be tough, and make being a victim in anyway while the BOYZ are away a lot less likely....

There have been some fun adventures this week:

A few girlfriends and I toured The Residence in Wurzberg. The Residence is a palace in Southern Germany, that was deemed the "nicest parsonage in Europe" by Napoleon. The Residence was almost completely burnt out during WWII, but they have restored it, luckily much of the furniture and removable interior was saved before the burn out. We walked through the courtyards, gardens, than did the guided tour on the inside- it was a real treat to see how they lived during that time, and also witness such a beautiful piece of history......

During the tour I saw some of the most beautiful decadent interior decorating I have ever witnessed- I feel inspired to redo our master bedroom.

PERFECT RIP JAKE....**

After that we did a little shopping. While we were in the department store I saw some kick ass clothes that were overpriced and I saw a female version of Jake and cried some more....all the while entertaining some other thoughts in my head about a friendship that has come under distress....

By the end of the day I realized how FULL these last few weeks have been I am in need of time and space...

As planned while the LOST BOYZ were away we took a thrift shop trip.....

I needed a good laugh and I got one....

It was kind of bizarre because we left early in the morning and drove a little ways to arrive at the first shop. Since we pulled up right as the doors were opening I started to get that heepy jeepy feeling about myself....I mean her I was cold hard EURO in hand arriving right as the second hand store opened up, like a professional, like.....ALABAMA HOARDERS.....

Whenever we travel places as Americans- people always look at us and stare at us, I always tell myself its because they are curious- but I am sure they were totally freaked out by us in this case because there we were in a thrift shop- (tourists don't go to thrift shops) laughing and chatting like a regular day out with the girls in the States....

ROADIE found some amazingly gawdy oversized formal gowns- I am kicking myself in the a** hardcore for not snapping a photo, but it was the kind of gown that would be fun to wear to the commissary on pay day like you did it on purpose....and maybe WALTZ down the aisles....I am kindive thinking this isn't a half bad plan- while the boyz are deployed if we need a good laugh just put on strange costumes and wander around all day.....

Final Booty: A sweater, and a skirt.

The second store was the funny one.....

It seemed bigger....so we scoured through it a few times. While back in the "lighting" section I saw this ridiculous lamp. It made me burst out laughing when I saw it. Then we all got serious- Suddenly I needed to have this lamp. But it had no price tag, so we had to track down the owner, at first he gave me a high price....I told him I would think about it, than he came down 10 Euro, I told him I would still think about it, than he studied the lamp and me.....was this a bargain situation??? He settled on the second price, ROADIE convinced me I needed to have the lamp and off we went....

While in the clothing section, I found a muskrat scarf. It appeared, to be, two ferrets sewn together. I still can't believe I put it around my neck and wore it over like I was in a fashion show to ROADIE.....we laughed so hard we cried, it was really hideous it had like 15 paws dangling down....

Final Booty: Funky Sweater, RETRO Lamp, Girls Drindl, Vintage Linen Nightgowns, and some other items I am having a hard time recalling...

Final Stop:

The last store, we started to really get out of control, but we found some good stuff. We started to feen off each other, we found stuff that was so good and so cheap we had to buy it. One of us ended up with an Ottoman that has no particular place in the home, the vegetarian ended up with a fur coat, and I ended up with a tea set that I wasn't totally sold on.....we all talked each other into buy stuff....we were very bad influences....

Final Booty: Retro Tea Set, Yellow Cardigan, Guess Hoodie, Funky Retro Ottoman, Fur Coat, Xmas Gifts, Groovy Faux Fur Hat.

I really cannot wait to go again because we laughed so hard we cried all day. The tone was like the scene out of The Sweetest Thing- 'Do we have time for a MOVIE MONTAGE?'

Do you ever feel pressed to say the exact right thing? But you can't? I hate that.....and I feel terrible....I have put a few people in this situation with Jake's passing....I mean what do you say? Sorry? I understand? None of these things is going to console the person who is experiencing the grief or solve the upsetting issue......mostly the HUGS have been about the only thing that have helped me.....Does anybody else have this issue?

So its pretty obvious that the guys haven't been allowed to call home....I understand that they are trying to do certain exercises that simulate what a deployment will actually be like, but with all do respect- we deal with an OBSCENE amount of REALITY already......

OH LEGS....

Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. -Albert Einstein

A dream is a wish your heart makes, it is my heart's wish that we dream the same dream, a dream that we are together, and we touch and kiss and laugh, and share stories....meet me tonight my sweet, in the warmth and security of our bed.....

Blowing you a kiss....and sending you this dream....XO

If you OR the LOST BOYZ read this: LEGS your AUDI PARTS came in- I am going to SET UP an APPOINTMENT FOR YOUR BABY!

ITS OFFICIAL: I am depressed...I scanned the frozen food section, the junk food section, the candy section, EVER the cheese section and NOTHING in sight was going to help me feel better....I am calling this the FIELD DIET- you may not be able to see me or find me when you get back...

Knitting Projects Completed:

Baby Hats!

Fitness Front:

YEP....need I say more?

Random Thoughts:

Sometimes...doing the right thing is not the easiest most logical thing, sometimes doing the RIGHT thing is the most difficult, bat-shit crazy, mentally, emotionally, and physically draining thing ever....sometimes doing the right thing....is more than I feel I can do.....

All it takes is all you got. - Marc Davis

Okie....drinking champagne and eating strawberries turned into getting belligerent ( in a good way if that is possible ) on the phone with LONGSHANKS, while cramming my face with left over carrot cake and pumpkin pie...Not a pretty picture over here...I would classify this as pathetic....

We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it. -Abraham Lincoln This is really something I need to work on.....

I got this kid thing in the bag!

TT came over, shared his happy meal with me, thank GOD for the Mickey and Minnie Picture- I was then considered VIP, so he prepared food for me, and then we cuddled on the couch....I think its getting serious....he just has one bad habit- SH*TTING himself......