My Life's Philosophy.......

OnE DaY......YoUr LiFe wiLL FlAsH bEfoRe yOuR eYeS......mAkE sUrE iT iS wOrTh wAtChInG........**

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A Day, A Week, A Month, A Year...IN THE LIFE of AN UNLIKELY.....MILITARY WIFE....** (A collection of snapshots, letters and memoirs DEDICATED to CHRISTOPHER ALLAN COUSSENS.)

Sunday, October 9, 2011

PATOOIE.....**

WHAT UP B-L-O-G!


WEATHER REPORT brought to you by Karmella:  It went from SUMMER TO WINTER IN A MATTER OF A DAY.....


Exchange Rate: OMG HURRY QUICK I need to get the ATM- I know its the middle of the night but I just checked our exchange rate 


1 EURO = $1.32


SHHHH....that is the lowest I have seen it since we have been here- don't tell anybody....


The wise say.....do SOMETHING that SCARES you everyday.....


Personally the idea of being totally domesticated scares the living daylights out of me....but.....to my delight.....I have found satisfaction in the art of being a homemaker.  I live as though I am retired, I get to write, knit, and conquer my fears of things that I thought only stuffy Grandma's do, or people who aspire to be Martha Stewart.  


Do you think I could be a 'Martha Stewart'?  Well....If I was her I would request a more PUNK style.....like PUNKY BREWSTER.....


This past week, I took some apples off my tree in the yard and made 4 yes FOUR apple pies from scratch.  I got a "Old Fashioned" recipe off the internet and just started following directions.  The one thing that boggled and occupied my mind through out the days and hours of making pies was how incredibly labor intensive it was.....


The apples needed to be peeled, cored, sliced and mixed.  The dough needed to be prepped, chilled, and shaped.  Then the pie needed to be baked in three different increments.  






The finished product was so beautiful I almost cried every time one was cut open.  And the taste was TO DIE FOR.....









So....I conquered a fear....I made a pie from scratch and it really wasn't horrible.....


Recipe and Pictures BELOW:


Old Fashioned Apple Pie
This classic recipe is from the Little Pie Company of the Big Apple.

Ingredients


  • Old Fashioned Dough



  • 6 or 7 large golden delicious apples, or 3 pounds



  • 1/4 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed



  • 1/4 cup granulated sugar, plus additional for sprinkling on the top crust



  • 2 tablespoons cornstarch



  • 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon



  • 1/8 teaspoon grated nutmeg



  • 1 1/2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice



  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened







  • Egg glaze made by beating together well 1 large egg



  • and three tablespoons cold water







  • Vanilla ice cream, as accompaniment




  • Directions

    1. Preheat the over to 425 degrees F.
    2. Quarter, core and peel the apples. Cut each quarter into 3 wedges. Measure the apples into a large bowl. They will make roughly 8 cups.
    3. In a small bowl, stir together with a wire whisk the sugars, cornstarch, cinnamon and nutmeg.
    4. Add the lemon juice and the sugar mixture to the apple slices and mix until they are evenly coated.
    5. Line the pie plate with the bottom crust and mound the apple filling into it. Using both hands, press and shape the apples to form a tightly packed, high mound. Trim the bottom crust to a 1/2 inch overhang. Dot the filling with butter. Arrange the top crust over the apples, patting the crust gently with your hands so it conforms to the shape of the filling. Leave a 1 inch edge. Fold the top crust under the edge of the bottom crust and flute the edges decoratively, pressing together with your thumb and forefinger.
    6. Reroll the pastry scraps to make 3 large diamond-shaped leaves, each about 2 1/2 inches long. Cut them out freehand or use a diamond shaped cookie cutter. Use the back of a paring knife to make indentations simulating leaf veins. Brush the backs of the leaves lightly with egg gaze, then apply the leaves to the very top of the pastry, bending or twisting them slightly to give them a natural look. With a sharp pairing knife, make 5 or 6 steam vents, each 3/4 inch long, around the center of the top crust.
    7. Bake the pie for 20 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 375 degrees F. and continue to bake the pie for 40 minutes. Ten minutes before the end of the baking time, brush the top with egg glaze and sprinkle with sugar. The pie is done when the pastry is olden brown and the juices are bubbling.
    8. Let the pie cool on a wire rack before serving it slightly warm with vanilla ice cream.


    Old Fashioned Dough
    Ingredients


  • 2 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour



  • 1 tablespoon sugar



  • 1 teaspoon salt



  • 8 tablespoons unsalted butter, chilled and cut into 1 inch pieces for handmixing method, frozen and cut into 1 inch pieces for food processor method



  • 1/2 cup lard or vegetable shortening, chilled and cut into 1 inch pieces for hand mixing method, frozen and cut into 1 inch pieces for food processor method



  • 1 large egg, beaten



  • 1/4 cup very cold water (refrigerated or chilled with ice cubes that are removed before measuring.)




  • The Hand Method:

    1. In a large bowl, stir together with a wire whisk the flour, sugar, and salt. Add the butter and lard. (If using vegetable shortening instead of lard, see the variation below.) Using your fingertips or a pastry blender, work the fat into the flour until the mixture forms pieces the size of peas. (It is all right if there are a few larger or smaller pieces.)
    2. Combine the beaten egg and cold water. While stirring lightly with a fork, add the egg and water to the flour/fat mixture in a fast, steady stream. Continue stirring, occasionally cleaning off the dough that collects on the tines of the fork, until the flour is almost completely mixed in, but the dough does not form a ball.
    3. Empty the dough onto a flat work surface. Work in the remaining flour by using the heel of your hand to press and push the dough just until it holds together. This is not kneading.
    4. Shape the dough into a 6 inch disk. There should be many small pieces of butter and lard visible. Wrap the dough tightly in plastic wrap or wax paper and refrigerate it for at least two hours or overnight.


    After I made my first pie, I didn't want it in my house....


    There is serious risk to myself and possibly others when a pie gets left unattended in my house.  I am liable to eat the whole thing, which is detrimental to myself both mentally and physically, and its risky for others because of the ultimate and inevitable shame I will have to deal with when I admit I ate the WHOLE PIE and than step on the scale or throw on some jeans afterwards.....


    After starring at it for awhile I decided I should take it down the street to THE COLONEL'S WIFE for her birthday.  I felt so proud and good about it until I got home and the insecurity sank in.....


    I should have done what LEGS told me to do, I should have taken a bite of it before I delivered it.  


    IN MY MIND:  Pacing back in forth in my house, hitting myself, and looking up the ceiling saying "WHY? WHY?! WHY?!"  What IF my pie was HORRIBLE?  She is much too friendly to ever tell me it was in fact uneatable.....and it didn't help when I reflected on the conversation and she humbly mentioned that she won pie contests several years in a row.....


    After this ego meltdown I was asked to sew a patch on a uniform for one of the LOST BOYZ.  Its these moments where I swear the UNIVERSE is laughing and laughing at me....


    No pressure or anything, he just came over with his uniform and patch.  Okay so listen.....LEGS is the one that uses the sewing machine more than I do.....he does.....I am afraid of that thing....I have been thinking lately as to why and I am pretty sure I have it figured out.  Those of my High School Pals that read this will surely be laughing and remembering- I HOPE-


    In middle school AND high school the home economics teachers both had a last name that started with the letter "V."  And both of them were the silliest, squakiest, craziest teachers I have ever had.  I distinctly remember using the sewing machine in Miss V's home economics class in middle school and hating it.....because.....if she got too close to you and spoke she would spit all over you....so....


    Every time my sewing machine would muck up she would come over and SHOWER me with her attention.....and my sewing machine was always broken....my bobbin would always get screwed up....


    Now I just look at the sewing machine (insert JAWS music) and I start to get sweaty and nervous and I feel as if whatever I am being asked to sew I am going to royally screw up.....and Miss V will inevitable come over and spit all over me.....


    I managed....I know. I am ridiculous.  I used to get into a ring with a girl knowing damn well she was going to hit me in the face in front of a bunch of people- yes I was scared, but it doesn't nearly compare with the anxiety that I feel on a daily basis about being a good wife and homemaker.







    Today was a TOTALLY KICK ASS HOUSEWIFE DAY FOR ME....(SMUG)....


    I think I may be more of a baker than a cooker.  I get really stressed when there is a thousand things happening on the stove, but I do well when I can put things together and put them in the oven.....


    These days I am finding the kitchen to be a little bit of a sanctuary....I put my SHOW TUNES (Pandora Station) on, LOVE that station- it makes me happy to listen and sing to all the songs in the movies that I grew up watching with my SISSIES....I create my own little universe in there and after listening to DISNEY songs all day, my FAITH in the MEANING of LIFE is RESTORED....


    Apple Pie for Breakfast? Damn if feels good to be a pie maker.....


    I like this:  What IF....you woke up today....with ONLY the THINGS you were THANKFUL for YESTERDAY...


    I have reflected on my last blog....how I said that I want to quit volunteering....and I don't......


    I want to re-focus my energy.  I have said on numerous occasions that Soldiers get all kinds of special training, they are the main focus, they get all the medals, ribbons, letters, certificates, classes and training to be what they are.....


    Rarely is the Spouse/Family given these things.  We are the silent heroes. Family Readiness Group is not about the Soldiers.  Its about the Families that get left behind.  We should only be doing things to strengthen, reward, train, and educate the families that are living this life FOR THE SOLDIER.  


    Many people have questioned, challenged and have even been shocked at my participation in the FRG.  I would have never even considered it with my previous FRG experience.  But.....once I got over here and met these women...


    Women who have dreams, careers, women who are talented and beautiful inside and out....women that I want to be like and spend time with, I wanted to do FRG.  These women touch my life on a daily basis, they teach me things and show me colors that I never knew existed....We are ROSIE the RIVETER!  I would be so sad not to have the pleasure of working and volunteering with them...I am so happy I gave FRG a chance and I also feel proud that I am BRINGING FRG (SEXY) BACK!


    GUILTY PLEASURE:


    I have been eating like a fat kid on a cruise....I ate Mozerella sticks and had TWO pieces of Birthday cake- this- all occurred at a child's birthday.  Now I am not defending myself- just merely wondering WHY I had such reckless behavior....is being around children really that infectious?  


    Funny TO ME Story:


    Suddenly I have had trouble calling The Mommy and Mema from NEVER NEVER LAND.....SUDDENLY....


    It will ring and then tell me that the caller does not received blocked calls. I have no idea how to unblock my number or why its even block in the first place.  So on facebook I asked if any of my other ExPat friends are having this same trouble....


    One of my friends wrote back and gave a few reasons why this would be suddenly happening....after telling her that it just started to happen- she told me that my family may be avoiding me on PURPOSE....


    I never thought of that even being a possibility....and now after writing this I don't know why I found it so funny?  Is this funny?  I think I may be totally lame.....


    Baby Front:


    Well....


    We have prayed in a many grand religious sacred structures and wished in a wishing well, and we have made so much whoopi if I never see MR. GOOD AND PLENTY again it won't be too soon....


    LEGS: In threatening voice....'Tiffany if you keep acting silly like that you aren't going to get any LOVIN' tonight....'


    I proceed to drool all over myself and behave like a child...


    Just short of making my blog borderline pornographic....


    I have a funny story.  I didn't know if I should share it, so I pitched it to my WHISKEY GIRLZ....once they all laughed I knew I had to.


    LEGS had a few beers the other night.  I didn't drink anything because I was still recovering from a few nights prior.  We ate dinner, watched a movie and worked our way up to bed.  Since we are really trying to conceive I knew that we should probably make whoopi, but I didn't feel like it.  So despite the fact that we are terrible at "QUICKIES" we decided that was the best option.  


    Here is my cartoon of what transpired....

















    This week I watched my husband pack up and get ready to leave me for an extended period of time....


    PEOPLE often take for GRANTED the very THINGS that most DESERVE their GRATITUDE....


    The day before he left I knew that...


    That day would be the last day I would wake up and enjoy coffee with LEGS for awhile, I would be able to talk with him whenever I want to, that I would be able to require his assistance around the house, that I would be able to hug him, to touch him, and that night would be the last night I would not sleep alone....






    HELL!  It would also be our last opportunity to eve have the CHANCE to conceive a child.....


    Saying goodbye to LEGS....never gets easier, I always watch him closer, love him deeper, kiss him harder, hug him tighter, I always feel bad because he knows that I know that he knows its hard for me, (heavy sigh) sometimes I wish that I didn't love him so very much, that I haven't become so completely dependent on him to feel WHOLE, COMPLETE, like I can handle ANYTHING.....







    I always give myself one day to WALLOW in self pity, but the next day I rise with the sun, I rise with strength, determination and the resilience that this LIFESTYLE and my BELOVED SOLDIER require of me....


    And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. -Khalil Gibran


    Random Thought:


    Everybody talks about 'growing a pair of balls' but they are so weak and sensitive, I don't know why more people don't refer to growing a vagina- a vagina really knows how to take a pounding.... -Betty White :D










    Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**














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