Dear LEGS: Surviving on countdowns.....**

Dear LEGS
0801012
Day 96

A LETTER:

Look well to this day, for it, and it alone is life.  -unknown

I start to feel it.......it starts out small.....tiny.....miniscule........and "it" starts way down low.....at first.... its only a little tickle....like a bug is crawling on my foot so....I shake it off.....Then the bug comes back and bites me....I get annoyed and a little upset...swatting away these feelings....and then the emotions start to build.....And the bite....it festers and itches horribly....usually for weeks......and it makes me so uncomfortable I just have to find a remedy......its at this point where I want so badly to scratch the bite, but I know that I mustn't. I would do anything to SHAKE PEOPLE and SCREAM OBSCENITIES at them...........

I start feeling UNSTABLE around the base.......being around the same people day in and day out, what they post on facebook, what they do at the gym, what they say when they see you, what they buy at the grocery store, at the post office, how they look, what they say, what they complain about, what they wear, its a constant barrage of negativity and snide comments in rapid succession......the inability and limitations of those to realize to have good friends you must also be one.....the lack of ambition or too much of it, the complaints that seem so futile, the competitions with others that are of no value, the unrest and unease that comes with having no control over the current situation, while understandable, is often what brings out the worst part of people.....

Its around this time that you and I usually get out of town......but you are not here.....and the friends I would disappear with are otherwise unavailable......

So I venture out into the world alone.....and while I am out there......

I suddenly become aware of exactly how many things I am depriving myself.....how much reality that I actually deal with on a daily basis......while I laugh and appreciate the smallest of things, the sun on my face, the trees and beauty, the sound of kids playing and laughing......it kills me when I realize that this is how it is.....for normal people, these are the things that they see and experience everyday, these feelings of joy, carefree.....happy......this is what a normal life looks like and feels like.....

The realization makes me sad......and it makes me jealous and envious and dubious.....these are the moments I want to give up, to throw this life and our love away, to run with normal people, to behave in reckless abandon to escape and never return........

I try so hard to stop myself from these thoughts and daydreams, grasping and clawing desperately to the memories of us....the way your hand feels wrapped around mine, the pillow talk, the secrets, glances, whispers....all those little things that make the big things.....imagine how sad I become when.....I can't seem to remember them, I can't seem to wash away the dust on these memories in order to see them, I can't put the pictures and snapshots into focus.....and so there they lie.....scattered across the floor of my brain, my eyes looking down up on them trying to make sense of myself, trying to keep my compass from going haywire, trying to find the person that I wish to be........trying to fill up the empty and be the wife I am destined to be......

Guilty if I laugh. Guilty if I drink. Guilty if I forget. How do I get through a day? I get up and I go? But where do I go? Most people wake up every day and don't even think about you or what you are doing? They don't think about me and this thing I live that should be a life.....they don't care that you live in a tent, that everything and everywhere you exist is dirty, they don't care that I stay alone, that we are a happily married couple who wishes to start a family but cannot because you are away.......

To top off all this ridiculous melancholy I am sick.....I think its the worst thing to be sick and alone....the monkey and the dog aren't cutting it. I just want you there to put my cold feet on, to make me soup, you to play with my hair and watch movies while I drift off to sleep.....someone who doesn't laugh at the way I blow my nose, or mind that I am a mouth breather......

I become so angry and resentful......and I wonder how many others have given up all the things I have given up- my youth, my job, some of my dreams, is it wrong of me or insensitive of me to point this out? 10 years of serving, sacrificing, always coming in the runner up.....

You are worth it you are.....but it makes it no less difficult or less upsetting.....

Please forgive me.....I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all the imperfections, the weariness whittles me down, and at my most vulnerable states I just fall under the heaviness......

......they say.....time heals all wounds.....but does it.....?

Time for us is always the enemy......wanting to slow it down or hurry it up.....the time between us just crumbles me....

Seven days. Always counting up or counting down......I wonder how many other people survive on countdowns- do others constantly keep a tally of all the hours, minutes, days and months? They say God made the world in Seven days. In seven days the UNIVERSE will finally be balanced.....

The yin will have found its yang, the moon will be reunited with the stars, thunder will be accompanied by lightening, the sun with its rays, we will be together once again......

Together we can take on this cruel world....but separated I feel torn by the buzzards.....

How is it possible to go from feeling so content and burdenless to so melancholy and broken? LEGS hold me....I just need to feel safe and secure.....like I don't always have to guard myself, like I don't always have to be so strong.....am I not allowed to be angry? Am I not allowed to be weak? Am I not allowed to feel restless, resentful and despondent?

Why do we put ourselves through this? Why did we make these choices.....I suppose this is the life I chose....but could I walk away from it? Could I un- choose all these decisions? I fear that I am ripping out your heart as you read these questions.....at the end of these questions my brain answers back that I do indeed have the most beautiful heartbreaking love to show for it......

I can't wait to look up into your eyes....to sleep without fear.....to feel everything I feel and to say every thing I want to say......I cannot wait to be completely bare.....stripped of all the superficial bullshit that is necessary to maintain in this life......I cannot wait to be........just me........

Seven days......

LOVE ON YA- BIRDIE**

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife......**

Dear LEGS: These days....**

DEAR LEGS...
080512
Day 91


A LETTER


"May the love hidden deep inside my heart find the love waiting in my dreams.....may the laughter that I may find tomorrow wipe away the pain that I find in today......."


I am tired of stretching my foot over to feel the cold empty side of the bed......so.....I sleep in the middle of the bed these days.....its the darkness inside me that consumes all the places you used to be....except the army blouse that still hangs on the back of the chair in the guest room, and the books that you didn't read that sit on the nightstand, my favorite old pictures of you that sit on my vanity in the bathroom, the stack of magazines that rest untouched in your bathroom, all the ingredients of your favorite foods that collect dust in the pantry.....and though....buried deep under the rubble.....in my soul.....you occupy all the spaces of my heart.....


I wish that time would go by faster, days would pass by quicker, moments would be shorter, and soon it would be SPRING.....and then I think....NOT YET.....don't come home YET.....because I have not YET become the WOMAN you DESERVE.....


I worry sometimes that the ravages of war have changed you.  That you have forgotten all that is good, pure, and beautiful, in this world.  When we speak I feel like the light has left your eyes as well.....this is the cost of freedom I suppose.....but if at all possible- I would like to remind you home!


This is your home.

This is where we live, where you come after you work, where we talk, and laugh, where we look out the windows, have BBQ's, this is where we spend time together....hours and hours on the weekend, this where Karmella barks and insists on being let in and let out of the door.....its built on a foundation of trust, its walls are made of security, its covered by a roof of love....it is our sanctuary....we escape all the realities of life.....in this house.....


This is the gate and it squeaks and creeks when you open it.....when we have visitors they struggle to close it- because its a trick gate......

This is the yard.  I spend hours in this yard cutting the grass.  You have cut the grass once since we have lived here.  This is where I grow our food, pick fruit from the trees and spend countless hours weeding, working, sweating and laboring.....

This is me.  I am high up waving with thoughts of you in my head......

This is the sky and the clouds in NEVER NEVER LAND.

This is the valley overlooking where we live coming down the "Marktbergel Hill"........

Lately.......I seem to have been sleeping more soundly.......and its because right before I drift off....I think of you, and I know that the reason I am safe is because you are there, standing ready and vigilant, that you are fighting for and thinking of me, and that you are protecting me....At night is when I think of you most.....I think "SHHHHHHH......Can you hear me....I am with you...."


At night and during the days.....I send little messages of love and devotion to you......in my daydreams they travel with the birds, carried through these trees, over the little red roof tops of Oberdach, up high where the wind blows and the clouds float.....through the suns rays, storms above, all through the starry nights and in the pale moonlight......their final resting place being upon your eyelashes while you sleep.....

This is your dog.....who runs away every time the gate is left open, whose ears directly correlate with her mood, who sleeps under the covers in our bed, and who is very JEALOUS of the two of us together......

We shall see each other in a little over a week.....I am ready for you to lay your burdens upon me- I have been clearing out my mind body and soul to absorb whatever pain, hardships and secrets you will arriving with....


Even with all these tender thoughts and my unwavering faith that you will return home to me.....its still hard, I still have moments of weakness.....we had a internet black out the other night.......


Thankfully nobody had come to knock on my door......but its the moments, hours, seconds and nights like that that kill pieces of me and take away some of the magic of life.....and youth.....


This is a picture of me.  I am your wife.  10 years ago I promised to be with you and devote myself to you even though it was sure that you would be leaving to WAR....in all my silly ideas of love, butterflies in my stomach, our crazy wild and youthful playful romance blossomed.....we have had good times, hard times, bad times, happy times and sad times.....but still we live to see more days together....

These days I am full of dichotomies.....strong....but so weak.....a lover....but so angry.....happy.....but so very sad.....full of heart.....and yet so apathetic......I am not the girl you once knew.....or am I?  When I see you you can tell me then.......until then I will wait.....I will wait even though I don't hear from you....I will wait even though I am certain you will not be the same when you return.....I will wait even though there are no future promises......


I will wait very hard.......until you come home from work, through the gate, to our house, while Karmella barks, bring with you all those thoughts of devotion and love, that traveled over the tree tops and roof tops, through the storms and clouds, across the starry nights in pale moonlight, and shine them up on me......like the sun.....and it will be a new dawn........


LOVE ON YA- BIRDIE**


A day in the life of an unlikely military wife........**

Dear LEGS: I have lost the light behind my eyes...**

DEAR LEGS:
072812
Day 83

A LONG LETTER:

"I have become....comfortably numb." -Pink Floyd 

I haven't written.

I lose the moment, the inspiration....I have lost the light behind my eyes.....what do people see now when they look at me? Do they see the obvious vacancy, the emptiness.....what do they feel when they are around me? Do they feel the apathy? The numbness?

And the truth is I have finally settled being without you.....the truth is.....I hardly FEEL anything anymore......

There was a time when I cried all the time. When I felt the sadness, the loneliness, the mania, the worry, the panic, the impending sense of doom.....all at once long into the depths and far into reaches of my existence.....

But now......I am NUMB. It scares me, I have become a monster.....if you burned me alive I wouldn't even cry out......this numbness.....I can't EVEN feel that I am numb because it doesn't totally engulf me.....its a black hole in my soul.....sucking parts of my daily happiness, daily sadness, my daily satisfaction, my daily apathy.....it never lets me fully experience these emotions, it robs me of half of my feelings.....and the other half are so weak and small and faint....its like they don't even exist.....

Its like tasting food when half your tongue is burnt, or watching a sporting event in such bad seats you can't tell what is going on.....its like fighting a fight without your vision.....

I have tried to cry.....I sit there....my face starts to wrinkle, I tell myself its okay if it comes out....I push a little you know try to get that wail going......and then I just stop.....my face returns to normal and I realize how silly I look....I have tried to conjure up some worrying thoughts.....or some sort of rise in my stress levels....I try to stoke the flames of my emotions to convince myself I can still feel something....but nothing ever comes.....

I wish some thing would knock me back. That I would have a few days when the sobering reality would backhand my apathetic face.....shake me to my core and help me be human again......

I don't like being comfortable without you. I don't like operating on a daily basis not aching, pining and missing you every single second of every single day. It makes me feel like a horrible wife.....like I don't love you as much as I should. It makes me feel like psychopath.......people assure me its a coping mechanism ...but somehow this explanation just doesn't cut through my fear of being a monster.....

Its not heartless and soul- less....its just that....nothing......and no one.....satisfies me the way you do.....I tell myself that if I spend time with people, friends, if I have good food, a long sleep and a glass of wine that I will be filled up with something other than emptiness.....you, you are what makes me human, what keeps me ALIVE.....you are what makes me FEEL ALIVE.......this is what purgatory must feel like......

When I think of what my life would look like if something happens to you I get so scared and frightened....I don't even have children to live for......what would my life look like? I am almost 30 years old....I have no children, no job, my whole life is about you......who would want such damaged goods? And would children even be an option for me after you? No.....they wouldn't. Because I am not one of those people that could pick up the pieces and move on fast enough to have a child.....it makes it hard to see past...into the future....to have hope....

Sometimes I think that I am actually happy and that I am okay....its during these moments I try very hard to remember all the details of the way you make me feel.....and then I remember.....

And after I remember I return to the existence that I now occupy.....

The desperation.....rips and claws away at my flesh.....it leaves me exposed and gives me no chance at self-respect....how I long for physical touch, for somebody to look me in the eye, to eat with somebody, to have a sentilating conversation, a laugh....of real genuine quality, a thirst for something only you can give me .....that skin on skin contact, but not just from anybody.....from your hands that are as gentle as a silk robe drifting over my back.......the desperation and vacancy make it so hard for me to be fully present in the minutes and hours, with others, I feel distracted because I am always reaching for that ALIVE feeling......

I don't play music in the house nearly as often as I used to.....I have accepted the silence.....I do however spend more time talking to the dog.....she looks at me as if I am mad.....I don't know why- she doesn't look at me LIKE I am mad....because I am......its like she holds out hope that I am not.....I wonder what a kick it would be to film what I do alone.....

Mid tour is coming.....I am excited, but also nervous.....The only time I can feel anything is when I think of seeing you again.....I get choked up, and tears well in my eyes.....and then I think of saying goodbye to you again.....

The anger that waves over me is so incredible that I think of that moment passing.....I think that once you walk away from me again.......I will no longer believe in the good in the world, I feel as if I will have gone to the dark side and I won't ever come back......

I try to be stimulated by the ordinary......I look up at the sky....sending out my prayers, I send you thoughts....but alas no body answers back....

This life is hard...I keep telling myself its the one that I have chosen and I still find solace in the small blessings...

I guess I just wonder what comes after STRONG.....I have been strong for so long I don't even know what it feels like not to be....and maybe we are all really alone.....because nobody really knows all of your thoughts and feelings- maybe any of the joyous times we spend with others is just.....a temporary distraction to the real trials of life...and in the end....don't we end up ALONE anyway?

Perhaps relying on anybody or even feeling as ALIVE as I have felt with you is only a glimpse of heaven.....and most of our days are spent like animals......eating, sleeping, and surviving.....one thing is for certain....I am not LIVING.....I am just EXISTING....

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**

Dear LEGS: Queen DI and 50 Shades of SKYPE....**

Dear LEGS
072412
Day 79

A NOTE:

I received this email from QUEEN DI a few days ago and I cannot stop laughing.....

Dear Tiffany-

Maybe we can skype this weekend. I am kind of freaked out by skype because last Thursday I was just leaving it on because of everyone being so far away, and someone called and I answered and it was Rex somebody who had so shirt on and probably nothing else on either. Yuck, I didn't turn my camera on so he couldn't see me. How does that happen that someone calls you that doesn't know you? Anyway I will try and leave it on over the weekend when I am here.

Love Queen Di


I hope that this NOTE makes you laugh, and finds you safe and well......


I LOVE you TO ETERNITY for INFINITY......


BIRDIE**

Just another day in the LIFE of an UNLIKELY MILITARY WIFE......**

Dear LEGS....to HELL and BACK....**

Dear LEGS.....
061612
Day 40


A LETTER


Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.
-William Blake

I had such a good day at boxing.....it was a reflection of how hard I have worked and how far I have come.  I came home to a full house....we had a small BBQ for the WIVES....it made me happy to laugh, share, eat, and hold babies.....it also felt good to have a few cocktails for the first time since you left.....


BUT.......


Then you called me.......and you seemed to be falling apart......you were falling apart....


I can't begin to tell you.....that sometimes I feel as if my deployment life has become one of large quantities of mini-crisis's......


So.....I wrote this piece in a panic.....


I wonder.....sometimes....about how things work.....it seems as though our blissful days are long gone.....and now the grim reaper follows me everywhere.....the days seem longer, harder and more jading......


I have been feeling like I am paying to whatever, whomever, wherever, whenever, however.....for this INCREDIBLE LOVE we share......we always PAY MORE....for LOVE......


We are taught that we pay for our "sins"......it has me wondering.....if there is actually 8 deadly sins instead of seven.  Pride. Sloth. Wrath. Gluttony. Envy. Greed. Lust. Seven.


Do you think LOVE....is a sin too?  Because your killing me man.......it seems like I pay more for LOVE than I do any other virtue or sin in my life........more for LOVE, always MORE for LOVE....


The LOVE that we share....romantic LOVE.  Every time you leave I feel like parts of me die.  I feel angry, desperate, lonely, I feel quicker to hate, more guarded, defensive.....scared and scared of myself....these dues are so heavy.....I feel like they warp who I am......


Familial LOVE.....most of the families I know can't be honest, don't speak to one another, don't help and support each other the way they should.....and they ALL have sinister secrets that bleed out into every body's lives....manifesting some dysfunction and issues we attempt to change or avoid.....


A mother's LOVE.....isn't it really selfish at the end of the day?  Yes....she loans her body out for nine months, and spends YEARS if not her ENTIRE life, nourishing, nurturing and caring for this person.....but so many people I know are not thankful for their parents.....and if they are it is always much too little too late.....when you have a child....and trust me I fantasize all the time of doing so....I think of happy times- a rewarding relationship that I cherish in life......but what happens when your child disappoints you? hurts you? or neglects your relationship?


What are you willing to pay for LOVE?


Money.  Time.  Work.  Distance.  Transition.  Uncertainty.  What about a burden?  The kind of burden that a human with a conscience could never recover from?


What are you willing to pay?


What about a LIFE or Situation that will go with you to the grave?


LOVE.....is about personal gratification.....giving it and receiving it....so....are you willing to give LOVE no matter the cost?  Even if it means that person will never be able to return it? Or give it to you how you need it?  What if you fall in love with somebody and they become so damaged they are no longer the same person....what about then?


When somebody is going through something so horrible and all you want to do is hug them and comfort them and LOVE them.....is that what YOU want....is that what YOU need to feel better about yourself or....is it really for them?


Maybe every couple has a sin....something dark...something they just can't overcome....having a child, cheating, death, guilt, greed....maybe every couple....goes through life together with this one sin or obstacle that forever changes the relationship.....since humans are so complicated....is it that far fetched to believe every couple has an obstacle or secret or darkness between them....?


Maybe at the end of the day our relationships are the sum of all the flaws....all those imperfections that other people would discard you for from the very beginning...maybe what makes us work is the very same thing we would break off and disapprove from complete strangers...


This month of death is challenging all of my logic, all of the things I thought I knew and understood about life.....its exhausting trying to understand things that are not be understood....


Those days or nights where you just have to sit and feel the pain....there is nothing you can take, or say or do, nobody that could offer up the comfort that is necessary to dampen the blow....when you must just sit and feel it.....


I swear that I have never felt so low in my entire life.....I woke up tell myself to dig deep, but my conscious mind kept telling me there was NOTHING left to GRAB......my psyche could not overcome this incredible emotional storm we both are going through..... I scare myself when I am like this.....we scare me when we are like this.....


I will have you know....that I CLING tenaciously to you and us and our love when I feel this way.....I think its because we BOTH KNOW....that we would LITERALLY GO TO HELL AND BACK FOR EACH OTHER.....so.....at the end of this....while we might be damaged, old beyond our years, weepy, guarded, a little crazy......we will surely accept each other, be these things together, hear, understand, empathize, sympathize and LOVE hungrily at the dark parts of ourselves......


Here's to the darkness in our future......because I am willing to go to HELL and BACK as long as I am with you......

I LOVE YOU TO INFINITY FOR ETERNITY.....


BIRDIE**


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**

Dear LEGS: Do you think we PAY for LOVE?**

Dear LEGS
061112
Day 35


A LETTER:


The price we pay for love is grief- Elizabeth


I stared at the painting I made of you today....I stood there looking at it for a long time.....after awhile I decided to get moving....my passing thoughts as I walked away was that was the closet I have felt to you since you left.....just gazing at my recreation of you, the way I always think of you in my mind...

It makes me sad that I am already forgetting you....all your little habits, quirks, all the facial expressions you make....I'm forgetting what it feels like to be touched, and held.....and these things are so important to a person's make up.......


I physically feel as if one side of my heart is growing larger.....larger in the sense that I am becoming more thankful for the little things in life, larger because though I knew it not possible under these circumstances....I have more love to give you.....but its shrinking on the other side, the side that controls who I am as a person, what kind of emotional state I am in, and because when your gone it feels almost impossible to love myself.....

I feel insecure all the time.  Vulnerable in the worst and brutally desperate way.  I second guess everything I do.  I worry all the time.  I wonder more often what people think of me and I have become increasingly paranoid about ridiculous, frivolous, imaginative sentiments......

I fall into bed at night feeling lonely, cold and sad.....I desperately cling to Karmella for warmth and company......Every single shift in the universe has me up in the middle of the night, a phone call, a skype notification, sometimes its not a thing that I can determine, just my eyes shoot open and I wonder if everything is alright.....I lay in bed alone and listen to the train rush through the middle of town....nobody to know that I heard it, no other witness to find comfort in that sound....


My dreams are a cruel joke.......they taunt me with things that I want and can't have, or feelings that I wish I could feel, or being touched but not physically drawing any satisfaction from it.....but....even in my dreams I know....that I am going to wake up to reality......


I rise in the morning and I feel as if I haven't slept a wink.....


Our conversations are so interrupted and bizarre.....it doesn't even feel like we are the same people....I write so that you still know me, I write so that you know my thoughts I write because I love you so much.....and though I was wishing and hoping for a seamless return- that has been dashed with the recent events and my adverse reaction to it.....

Every once in awhile especially when things are heavy it helps to watch or experience something that gives us hope.....or to remember that our love is powerful......That even in our minds.....we will die believing....believing that we were star crossed, destiny realized, fate accomplished, soul mates in true love......


I am working on my faith.....even if I question it and worry that my wishes and hopes may not turn into a reality, I wake up every day believing whole heartedly, that you will return, that we will make it through this......because I can't answer the big questions, I turn to faith.....because thats all I have found there to be......


There is this one thing that I question, it nags me, and harasses me in the back of my mind.....its the premise that when good things happen, we thank the UNIVERSE, and when bad things happen we pray to the same ENTITY.....and we speak of being strong and getting through this.....which in our minds was sent from the same thing that we thanked for all of our luck before.....doesn't that seem so foolish?


I need something to hope for, to be inspired about, I need more of your presence in my life....I feel as if I am spinning aimlessly through the world, I am playing with fire to feel alive, and in the between times I feel numb and apathetic....please don't tell me that this is the cost....the cost of the LOVE we have been lucky enough to share between us......perhaps it is.....perhaps.....the price we pay for LOVE is GREIF.....


LEGS....do you think we PAY for LOVE?  Do you think that this is the COST of our romance?

LOVE ON YA- BIRDIE**


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife......**

Dear LEGS: Just in case...**

Dear LEGS.....
060112
Day 26


A LETTER


For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. -Rainer Maria Rilke

Just in case......Okay.  So I have decided that if something should ever happen to me......it is my wish that you live a life that will rival the one we currently have.....in order for this to occur you simply NEED another COMPANION....to take care of you......


I am taking the initiative here and writing your personal ad or online dating profile so that you won't have to bother with it, I mean let's face it your spelling and typing abilities are deplorable, and this will ensure you get some good bites......And before you protest Ill have you know that I went through a lot of trouble for this- I even did RESEARCH....like REAL RESEARCH.....


It is as follows:


I am putting out a world wide request for support   You see, I have lost my world....and I need to find a new one.  Since my world has often been imitated but it could never be duplicated, I am in search for a new planet.  I have a couple of leads, assurances, and good authority that give me hope that its possible to find a new planet to inhabit, including a vague description of a place where I could THRIVE...


This new planet is female, she appears to be between 27 and 36 years old (years are subject to change- but I would recommend only several years above or below), but is definitely a "young" version of her age she is fit, strong, and energetic.  She has high maintenance looks but a down to earth attitude.  


She loves people, travel, cooking, she is artistic, larger than life, and sensitive but tough.  She may be found at a shooting range, an airplane, a zombie apocalypse survivor course,  on the road cycling, having an IPA at a cool pub, rescuing somebody or something, or possibly working with children, the unfortunate, or otherwise helpless.  


I have conflicting reports that she's unique and talks a lot, even too much, she is also very nosey and will interrogate me on a daily basis.  She is intelligent, independent, a hard worker and gutsy, a dreamer of sorts. 


She doesn't mind co-habitating with a man who is sometimes messy and unorganized, in fact she knows exactly where every single thing I could ever possibly need is.....she also doesn't mind long silences, my obsession with google, and my often semi-banana pipe dreams.  She has children or wishes to have children, my previous world thought that I would make a good father to any child that needed it.  


She would also enjoy my childlike infatuation with the world, my desire to live for others in some fashion, and my ability to play the part of a super hero.  


If this new planet can be found, I can offer the reward of a lifetime.....a strong, honorable, and courageous adventurer, a steady man who enjoys being spooned, long baths, a gentle calm, a safe place,  a constant supporter of any dreams and desires, a open minded and intelligent approach to life, a loyal friend, talented lover, that becomes more and more handsome as the years pass......a man in search for a companion to live a life that will rival the previous chapter- which cannot even be captured on the silver screen or in books......If you think you may have found my planet, or know where it might be, please contact me.  


This is the picture I would also advise you to use:

LOVE ON YA- BIRDIE**


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife...**