Weather Chronicle: Sunny, Cloudy, Rainy, Windy....mixed bag- I keep wondering where the gorgeous weather of April and May went.....
Exchange Rate: 1 Euro = $1.41
At the beginning of the year I made a resolution to learn German.
So far, it has been a slow, difficult process, but, in all honesty I haven't really been applying myself. I will say, that it seems as though I am farther along then my counterparts (people who got here around the same time I did), and I owe it all to my german neighbors. I have made a very strong effort lately, by attending a formal class once a week, and on Sunday I spent 4 hours hanging up a bunch of german vocabulary around my house- words that coincide with the object.
I have been, as embarrassing as it is sometimes, attempting to speak more german to my neighbors, and ordering food at restaurants. When LongShanks and the BF in the Band came for a visit, it was astonishingly obvious how much I didn't know, but, it motivated me to re- commit to my studies.
It has been really difficult and frustrating, mostly because I am so impatient with myself. I just want to be good at things right away, it was like that with boxing, its like that with cycling and speaking german. One thing I don't have is a German/English Dictionary, how could I not have that? Its difficult for me to remember words I don't know, and come running back home to my computer to see what they are. Man....I miss Barnes and Noble.
On the up side, learning a different language is exciting. I feel so accomplished when I get things right, or when I understand what people are saying. Last night, I saw my neighbors, and she said 'Ich Mude.' I think I startled her, because I exclaimed very excitedly 'I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!! IT MEANS YOUR TIRED!!!' If she was tired, she was certainly awake now.....
I like how 'old fashioned' I live my life in Europe. Like, instead of having an iPhone, I have a prepaid motorola, I hardly know where my phone is half the time, whereas in America I could hardly put my phone down. I don't have a hair dryer, or a blender (yet)......we don't have Television, (yet). I find that I am just as busy when I was in the States, except now, I am more productive. I am more present in my life and my relationships, I enjoy the simplicities, my life is more real and less virtual.
Cycling has been going okay......yesterday was rough.....
(Pictures are from a bike ride we took to Rothenberg on Saturday)
To embrace cycling culture not only do you have to wear spandex in bright colors and walk around like you sh*t yourself, but you also have to clip your feet to the bike....I have practiced unclipping and clipping in my living room...and I feel like, this is INSANE and I am going to DIE....
My big girl shoes....these are the most expensive shoes I have ever purchased, second to my boxing shoes.....some girls are into the Jimmy Choo, not me....high heels don't make you special, athletic shoes do- Jus' sayin'
The first two days I was clipped in I did really well. LEGS even got mad at me because we went for a ride, and I was making him looking bad. But the third day, didn't go SO HOT. I almost got hit by a car, and then I crashed.
I was really mad because the whole way to my destination, I was visualizing exactly what I was going to do. Once I got there I unclipped my right foot, which is not what I have been practicing, in a panic I struggled to get my left foot unclipped, and before I knew it I was laying on the ground.
Of course.....knowing me, it was in front of a people, at the back gate on post. There were THREE guards instead of two, and two Military Policemen- who- are not always present at the gate.
In my mind: OMG! These people probably think I am crazy. One minute I was there and the next minute, I had disappeared behind a big post.
They came running out to make sure I was okay. I found this to be more embarrassing then boxing, because in boxing you can hop right up and claim your status. With cycling, you are laying on the ground tangled in the bike. Good thing I left all my pride in the boxing gym.
Which do you think is worse? Doing something stupid and embarrassing in front of people or doing it when your not sure people are watching?
For me, I would rather have witnesses. It makes it more fun. Falling down on my bike in the middle of no where sucks, because I am always wondering if somebody saw it, are they laughing at me and I just don't know it??? Which, makes me feel even more stupid and alone and pathetic.
But yesterday when I fell, I was able to laugh with the witnesses and of course 'own it' by informing them I am tough for taking a fall and brave for even clipping in. Like I always say, if your going to do something- the most important thing is looking cool......and I think I made falling look pretty damn cool.....
Gardening.....is a lot tougher then being a gang member. My initiation to gardening is far worse then being 'jumped or shot in.' At least as a gang member you get mad props......here is a recent picture of my labor.....
I know I have needed to blog lately......I have had so many EUREKA moments.....
Like for instance, I have been KILLING myself, really KILLING myself, all week so that this weekend I will look good in a bikini, but it is really worth being so tired, that I sleep through my vacation and lack the energy to really enjoy myself? Vanity is a two faced b*tch......
Ever since my controversial blog.....I have been feeling like I was BORN AGAIN! Its like, I figured out another piece of myself, a piece that I had forgotten about, or I never knew it existed.......I like that.......on my rides I have been thinking.....that.....I like me, and I AM more like everybody then I even realize.......and that means.....people are stronger then I give them credit for.....
My family. God they kill me. I miss them. But sometimes I just want to shake them.
Its been hard for me to skype with Kaybear and Rylee, because I just want to hold her so bad. I want to get on the next plane to the United States just so I can see and hold the baby.
I miss The Daddy. I miss telling stories and having cocktails with him.
I miss my SISSY. I wish I could hug her, and let her cry on my shoulder, and tell her everything is going to be okay, and that I won't tell anybody she cried. ;)
I miss SISTER. I feel like I never hear from her, or have a firm grasp on her reality unless I am there to see it......
I miss The Mommy, she drives me nuts, but I know she loves me....
But.....its summer time in Europe....and last time I was home, I told them, that I might be far away next time.....I told you guys......I did tell you....
Listen, I miss you guys, and your killing me. I want to come home, I love you but.....I can't.....not yet.......
Random Thoughts:
I hate going to the knitting store and buying more yarn, it just makes me grumpy and impatient with my latest project...I just want to start the next!
Sewing......I am disappointed with myself.....I haven't done anything to get myself in a position to sew. Queen Di set me up with a bunch of sewing supplies and I haven't done anything to honor her generosity....Sewing is a indoor hobby.....is it okay if I pursue it during the winter???
Speaking of winter, I have been feeling like come fall.....a harsh reality is going to hit LEGS and I......we haven't really experienced winter in a few years, since we left ALASKA......
Have you ever met somebody, that literally says everything you are thinking to say before you even say it??? Then they say they like something that you LOVE, that most people don't like? Its like for a moment the world stops and you fall in love with them.......(its a chick by the way) And then to top it all off, she is just like your SISSY!?! Don't judge me.....I am a J LO GROUPIE.......I want to call her every day, but I am trying to play it smooth.....
Guilty Pleasures:
Surprisingly, I have been really good.
I did have a moment last night, when I was deciding what bottle of wine to open......and I was thinking.....
For the love! I live in Europe, I can get my hands on all kinds of AMAZING wine from France, Italy, Germany etc., and here I am depriving myself for what!?!
Expect a more belligerent ARMS in the near future......
ARMS' Mailbox:
ARMS-
Firrst and Foremost I want to tell you that I think that you are awesome and that I am disappointed that I did not get a chance to meet you sooner in Rucker. I read your blog on military women and I felt that I needed to write you and show support because I feel that you have every right to write what you feel because its your blog and it comes from the heart and I was actually mad that you were attacked for you words and I'm glad that you stayed strong and stuck to your guns because honestly I didn't feel what you were saying was wrong...
I will say this as a military female.... Please do not judge us all the same. If I judged all military wives the same I would not have been blessed with such awesome friends in my life. Instead judge them individually. My 11 years in this military I realized that its not the uniform that makes women act they way they do because she would have been on your husband whether she was in the military or not and we all know birds of a feather........
Its a personality trait or maybe an up bringing I don't know but I hate when we blame the uniform :) They were like that before they came in and didn't know what to do when they had all this men around them.
So I just wanted to share that with you and keep writing because you are motivating. and write whatever you want because its your blog and you can probably beat up 99.9 percent of the haters anyway :). Nobody is forcing them to read it. I hope that it was cool that I wrote ya :)
and I hope that you and LEGS are having a blast in Germany.
Take Care,
Another Female Apache Pilot
(I would like to say that I am kindive disappointed with my response to her now that I am reading it over, because I don't think that I genuinely expressed myself- so I changed it a little for purposes of the blog- I know- but its my blog!)
Female Apache Pilot-
OMG!
Thank you for writing me! I love you, no like seriously, I love you. I read this to LEGS this morning because....I still think he doesn't get it- boyz can be so dumb. He said- 'God, I miss her.'
I wish we would have hung out more in Rucker too....but you know- Aviation is SMALL- no doubt our future holds a reunion some where along the way!
Thank you for your support, understanding and perspective. And thanks for even reading my blog! I agree its not the uniform, its the person.
Again - I really appreciate your perspective and you taking the time to write me. I was pretty low the day I posted my blog, but lately, I have been feeling revived!
I hope you are well, we are doing great!
Love on ya, ARMS
(I have so much respect for her, and for other females in the military who have contacted me, to share their side of the story- and set me a little straight. Their caliber as a person, has grown exponentially, because not only do they TALK TOUGH, but they ACT TOUGH too.
Being able to address somebody is far TOUGHER, then just talking about them......These females motivate me, because I need to work on ADDRESSING people better and not just in my blog.- THANK YOU!)
We have an adventure planned for the weekend, so be looking for a new blog next week!
OVER & OUT....
Just another ORDINARY week in the life of an unlikely military wife...**
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