Weather: Awesome Sun Rise this morning, but it has turned into rain. And its cold.
Exchange Rate: Still $1.44
I never wanted to be a military wife.
Some people I know, dreamed of being a military wife. Some people I know enthusiastically embrace the lifestyle. But me, I never liked the idea of being a military wife.
My life plan was modest, down to earth, and ordinary.
I always thought that I would meet a great guy, we would get married, we would raise our children and live out our days in ALASKA.
Some of that plan came true.
I was able to graduate college in ALASKA. LEGS and I met in ALASKA. We fell in love and were married there. We bought a house and the TANK. I got this awesome job working with troubled youth. My plan was to return to get my Master's in Psychology and become a counselor.
And then one day. Well.....actually many days. LEGS came home and said he wanted to go back into the military. My response......wasn't pretty. In fact the DIVORCE word was used more often then I like to admit.
It was hard. But like your supposed to in marriage, we made a compromise. I told him NOT the Marines and NOT on the ground with a gun anymore.
I had my reasons. With the Marines I felt like we could only live in two places, California or North Carolina and I wanted more options. As far as the job aspect I wanted LEGS to have more life skills then 'I kill people...really good.' (I say this jokingly, but with the utmost sensitivity)
So.....of course he chose IN THE SKY with GUNS.....how original.
He turned in his flight packet, and for the first time my whole life I thought....he won't get accepted. They aren't going to want him, he has the ankle that he broke, he's getting a little older, he won't pass the flight physical etc.
What do you know? They accepted him. And of course they did. LEGS is totally B.A.
(Heavy Sigh)
Now....I would have to leave the job. But you know me, I wasn't going to just walk away from a job that took me 6 months and 30 rejection letters to get. So....for the first year of flight school, I stayed in ALASKA. In hindsight, it wasn't the best thing for our marriage, but it was a good thing for me.
I thrived at my job, in the boxing gym, socially, and I became more independent and less afraid of being alone etc;, etc.
So.....I got on the plane to ALABAMA and became, what I never wanted to be.
I don't like moving. I don't like screwing with my routine. I like the order the military provides but I think RANK and some of the politics involved with RANK are stupid. I don't like drama, I don't like the long absences, and I don't like the dangerousness of it all, especially since we are at WAR.
The moving part is funny. Being a military wife has made me more patient, more flexible and more WORLDLY. I still don't like it, but I realize and enjoy that I have an amazing opportunity that most people would never dream of. I get-to see-the world!!! Which is much more glamorous and exciting then hanging out at the Pioneer Bar in ANCHORAGE ALASKA.
The routine part is also funny. LEGS' schedule is never the same. Sometimes he flies nights, sometimes its days, sometimes - SOMETIMES he comes early, but most the time he comes home late. We never have dinner at the same time, we never wake up at the same time, but its kinda of nice not having the pressure of having to be somewhere at a certain time everyday. No day is ever the same, so we never get stuck in a rut.
The RANK thing proves to be challenging.
In ALABAMA it was difficult for me to connect on a regular basis with the other OFFICER WIVES, so.....the girls that I spent time with and MISS DEARLY! were enlisted wives.
In NEVER NEVER LAND, I have been more successful in connecting with other WARRANT WIVES, but I also have friends in the ENLISTED and "REAL LIFE OFFICER" WIVES bracket.
I don't really care about rank, but a lot of people do, mostly the BOYZ. And I guess that's because they have to. We were prior ENLISTED so, we love and respect the ENLISTED guys. And I think being a REAL LIFE OFFICER, is seriously difficult, so I have mad compassion and respect for them as well.
Like I said, I don't really care about RANK.
HOWEVER, the NEW COLONEL and his family live in my town. One night at a local gathering The COLONEL's wife and I met. She had heard about my boxing and asked if we could start running together.
UM....can you say INTIMIDATED.....
Let me just say, if anybody came and asked me to run, I would be intimidated. Yes, I did boxing. But I hate running. I am not a very good runner, even though I pretend to be.
So.....for a few weeks I blew if off. If I was going to run with anybody, I was going to have to get in "Running with Somebody Shape." After a few weeks of consistent running, I made contact.
I was nervous, but I didn't want to be flakey- because I'm not flakey.
The plan was to run at 6am.
So the night before, I carbed out, I mean, I was really freaking out.....I was going to be running with THE COLONEL's WIFE....I didn't want to fall out and look like a jack ball......I was giving myself a pep talk, drinking lots of fluids, and taking all cautionary measures......
Then 6am came.....WHAT?! Are you kidding me? We used to run in ALABAMA at 7am, but that was because of the heat. 6am running is obnoxious.
The first day out we ran 5 miles. I thought I was going to throw up, then DIE. But I didn't quit, I didn't stop running, I have my pride, I am a boxer! And something telling me in my mind- that I was representing LEGS...so how could I quit? A neighbor of hers came with us and I was just thanking GOD every time she stopped to walk because I was right there walking with her.
I said I was going to run with them today, they changed it to 5am- which is just ridiculous. Of course, I couldn't get out of bed. In my mind, they would just go on without me. Instead they rang the doorbell at 5:15am. Even though I said I don't care about RANK, there is something daunting about the COLONEL's WIFE ringing your doorbell at 5am to go for a run.
Of course I got up and ran my little heart out.
And about the RANK.......
I keep going back and forth on it.
I mean is it appropriate to invite them over for dinner? How close is too close? Am I being too friendly? Or too distant?
I mean, sometimes I really don't care, people are people, everybody needs friends, especially over here in this small overseas community. LEGS and I are really good at separating work and play, and frankly, I feel like he operates the exact same way between work and play.......
And me? Well I am the WIFE, not the Pilot. I do my part to ensure LEGS is properly fed, properly rested, he has clean uniforms and I support his study habits. But with me, what you see is what you get. I am loud, honest and open.
At the same time, I respect and admire the COLONEL and his WIFE, because they have worked hard to be where they are, they are experienced, and deserve a certain amount of recognition.
But this is how far I have gotten.....
Yes, the COLONEL and HIS WIFE are important. But so is every other person in the Battalion. That is what is so awesome about the military, its that everybody is specialized and together everybody accomplishes something bigger.
I don't treat her any different then any other wife, because while he leads my husband, others support my husband. I want him to follow an amazing leader, but I also want his helicopter to work properly, I want him to obtain the proper nourishment at the chow hall, I want him to receive the care and concern he needs from the Chaplain, etc.
And....I want friends. I want a connection. I want a family. Not only do I want these things, but I need these things to be a good wife, just as he has needs to be a good pilot.
As far as the drama, I feel like its not really a military specific phenomena. There is drama everywhere you go, where you live, where you work, and where you play. That is just a function of people, its natural.
The long absences, and dangerousness I can do nothing about. But it makes me feel good to know, that I am strong enough and hearty enough to handle it.
Even though, I have become something I never wanted to be, I think what I have become is pretty B.A.
OVER & OUT
And that is why I say........Just another day in the life of an UNLIKELY military wife.....**
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