Its not me....its the dog....**

Hey Blog Frog!

The State of the Atmosphere in NEVER NEVER LAND: Thunder and RAIN!!! We are doing the rain dance- its been so dry the flowers and plants are struggling. 

Exchange Rate: LOWEST ITS BEEN SINCE WE GOT HERE!!!

Yesterday, I went over to the neighbors house to deliver the Blue Berry Muffins I made for them.  When I knocked on the door the man answered and I introduced myself (in perfect German I might add).  He invited me in and I could smell alcohol on his breath (no judgment from me- I have noticed he drinks a beer every night and reads the paper on his porch).  Not wanting to insult him, I followed him in the house, once the door shut behind me...


In my mind: OH MY GOD!!! What are you doing? ARMS have you lost your mind!?! This guy could be a rapist, he could cut up your body into little pieces and nobody would ever know!!! 


And then his lovely wife came down the stairs.


In my mind: OH MY GOD!!! They could both be mass murderers....


Come on man.....get a grip....


They were very interesting people who just got back from a vacation to Vietnam!!! They told me if I needed anything or had any questions to feel free to ask! And they also told me I talk to fast- Laughs!


I was sitting on the couch last night and I kept getting a whiff of something bad.  In my mind: Man! What is that? The blanket? Sniff....No... The couch...Sniff....No, My GAWD is it me? I smelled the pits...no, nope its not me (HUGE sigh of relief) and then I looked over and realized it was the dog....She just looked back at me like...'Don't look at me like that, I have been working hard to get out of this damn freak show.'


ARMS' Mailbox:

Karmella is going to be 6 years old this fall- (No, I am not on of those eccentric pet owners that throw's my dog a birthday party) just let me get to my point.  She is 6, and the vet in Alabama keeps sending me these newsletters, the one I got the other day had a few paragraphs about Karmella's breed, I would like to share....


'If you own a min-pin you already know that they are spirited and fearless dogs.  Contrary to popular belief, the Min-Pin is not a miniature version of the Dober Pinscher.  The word 'pinscher' means 'terrier' in German.  The Min-Pin is too small to fit in the terrier class, and is a mixture of Dachshunds and Italian Grey Hounds.  


So my dog is a TERROR and a HOUND.


Min-Pins are enthusiastic and energetic companions. They can be cocky and even scrappy with other dogs, they have no idea that they are tiny and will appreciate a family that will treat them as if they are big.


Well...that explains the lack of compliance when putting any kind of clothing or costumes on Karmella, trying to put her in a purse or bag of any sort, and traveling with her in the cabin of the airplane.

Velociraptor's....I mean, (clearing my throat) Min-Pins are smart, with a lively curiosity. They learn quite quickly, but can become bored equally fast.  USE CAUTION WHEN LETTING YOUR MIN-PIN RUN OFF THE LEASH CHOOSE ONLY WELL ENCLOSED AREAS/WELL FENCED.

Obviously I have learned this over the years bonding with my Velociraptor, but it feels good to know, that its not me......its the dog...

LIZA went to the salon the other day.  She said 'I look like the wrong side of a swamp frog,' so she was getting her hair done.  I told her that I needed to get my hair done too, but that I was 'rolling in a dumpster until LEGS got home, because I wanted to see just how pathetic I can get.  


LEGS saved my body from indigence when he made a surprise visit home.  When he said he was coming home I didn't really believe him and I am glad I didn't because the day and time of his arrival changed 30 times before it actually happened.  (LESSON #1 for Military Spouses, Patience and Flexibility- which I still have not mastered and I am convinced I never will).  


He dropped in for a 1 hour lunch.  LEGS looked exhausted, more tired then I have seen him in a really long time.  We had a nice lunch talking about all the dreams we have been daydreaming since we have been apart.  This is one thing that I think helps keep the romance and excitement in military marriages, its the dreaming....

When you are apart you daydream, fantasize, visualize, imagine, and create a Utopia of Adventures, Escapades, and Mastermind all the things you want to do when you are reunited...you think about things you want to do, how you want to be, what you want to say, how you want to look, and how you want your life to look.....which means when you are apart there is a lot of time for reflection....something I fear most people in consistent relationships don't do enough of.....


He was in uniform so we had to take it easy on public display of affection, but it felt good to sit next to my soul mate in the sun.  And then it was over he had to leave and I had to stay behind.  When I was sitting next to him I felt like all the molecules, atoms, neurons and protons zinging around in my body, mind and soul- settled down and got quiet.  

And when he left I felt like I had just experienced my first jail visit. You only have one hour, you can't touch, and the outcome is still the same, they go back and you stay.

Absence Sharpens Love, Presence Strengthens it......

When LEGS is gone, I try very hard to get closer to him.  One way that I do that is I read the books that he reads.  I don't like reading them when he is home because then I feel his energy and excitement and he always wants to know where I am at or he reads over my shoulder.  

So I started this book called WAR by Sebastian Junger.  Junger wrote The Perfect Storm and also directed that documentary called RESTREPO that I discussed in a previous blog.   


Junger embedded himself with Army Infantry units that have held a position in the Korengal Valley, a remote part of Eastern Afghanistan.  Its the one place in both wars that have seen the most action and taken the most casualties.  So far its a very good book, that has both torn at my heart strings and made my heart race.


Here are a few facts that I found to be profound. (I mention these in hopes that you will read the book).

He talks about being in the thick of a firefight and reaction times.  He breaks down scientifically what it takes to literally recognize incoming danger (a speeding bullet), command muscles to react, and how close these soldiers actually are to getting hit by the time they are able to actually move.  

He also talks about the evolution of humans in relation to reacting, the chemicals and changes the body goes through when in extreme stress, and provides studies done on soldiers/pilots to prove these theories.


He gives insight to the people in this area too.  He says this area is too remote to conquer, too poor to intimidate, to autonomous to buy off.  Most of the people who live in this area have absolutely no understanding of a world beyond the one they live in. 


The terrain is out of a book.  Its composed of sedimentary rock, the trees are hard knotted holly oaks with spiny leaves and branches that snag your clothing. The forest has tree's in it that extend up around 8,000 feet and has Cedar trees that are so enormous you mind compensates for their size making a hilltop that looks a few hundred yards away, actually be a mile or more....


So far its a really great book, and if any of this interested you I highly recommend it.


I have been working really hard to get the house ready for Longshanks and The BF in a Band.....

The garden is coming along great, but its harder then I thought it was going to be, and suspect its because its my very first year ever having a garden.  Everybody is coming to me and asking me what to do and how to do it, but I only know a little about a little, not a lot about a lot.  

Also, hanging curtains, moving heavy furniture, changing light bulbs, and edging the terrace suck without some assistance or at the very least somebody to complain too about the frustration of it all....


The Germans are very hard working, resourceful people, they are also curious and can be judgmental.  They sweep the sidewalks, and driveways and edge away any green weeds, plants or grass that pops up around these area's. (Remember we are dealing with brick and cobblestone)  Its very hard, boring, menial work that I would hire somebody to do in the states, but...that option doesn't exist here as far as I can tell.  The other day I realized that our driveway and sidewalks were atrocious, so I have spent several hours a day all week attempting to save our neighborhood reputation.


Add on top of that the responsibility and duty of taking care and helping your military family out when they need it.  Over this past week WHISKEY CREW has had some really fun and relaxed time together.  But we have also had some very complex issues arise ABROAD....so I feel as if I have run around putting out fires all over town, and in some cases have had to major fires going at once.  It can be incredibly overwhelming, and scary....


I want more time.....I need more time......I feel like I never have enough time to think all the things I want to think, do all the things I want to do, life goes by so damn fast and I worry that I am missing out or not doing enough all the time....

I feel like when kids are involved you can never complete a thought, sentence, or conversation, even in your own mind. 


When I went to my German neighbors for the little girls Birthday, I told the Mom I had a "gift" for the birthday girl....Little did I know that the word "Gift" in German means poison.  She thought I was telling her I had poison for her daughter.....

The Flies here are aggressive and GINORMOUS!!! They have been getting in the house and driving me nuts.  I have literally broke stuff in my house trying to kill them.....and then once I break stuff I get so ticked off its like I turn into a psycho crazy mad woman....

I wonder what my neighbors think when they see me waving a towel or hoodie around like a crazy person, then breaking stuff, then getting angry....its gotten so bad Karmella runs away when she even hears a fly.  I need LEGS to come home, he is THE FLY SLAYER!


Random Thoughts:


WOOOOWIE....that man is good looking.....LEGS needs to come home....


What was I saying??? Oh yeah....no wait....


Whoa....she looks....I don't even know how to describe it in my own mind....Like Meryl Streep, Funeral Scene at the end of Death Becomes Her??? Oh.....Yea......


That wasn't quite the HOLLYWOOD KISS I had imagined, but it will do....


OH LEGS.....every time I get around you I can't possibly put into words how I feel....

Guilty Pleasures:

I bought another tub of cool whip but haven't busted it out yet....I am saving it for a real doozy.....

In NEVER NEVER LAND, the have these amazing little Spicy Banana Peppers stuffed with cream cheese.  When I found out from a friend where to buy them I bought a bunch.  The other night I climbed into bed and ate some, and accidentally spilled some of the oil the come in on our comforter- WHOOPSY.....

A ridiculous amount of Pizza.....it was from a place in NEVER NEVER LAND called Best Pizza, it was voted Best Pizza in GERMANY, and they weren't lying, I couldn't help but eat the whole thing, in my exhausted and weak condition I didn't have the will power to stop myself....

OVER & OUT

POST SCRIPT: Blogger has been having technological difficulties all week.  My last blog- which was a good one in my opinion, has still not been recovered and put back up, I found a draft that was saved but it completely eliminated the last half of the blog, if they don't completely restore it in the next few days, I will rewrite and restore.....I am so sorry for the inconvenience and I am using the teachings of Buddha to help conquer my frustrations....from now on I am going to save my blog on my computer- HARD LESSON LEARNED.....

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**