Dear LEGS: Just breathe.....**

LEGS.....
050912
Day 3

A LETTER

We only part to meet again. Change, as ye list, ye winds; my heart shall be, the Faithful compass that still points to thee. -John Gay

My legs felt like cement blocks.....the blood was all swelled up in my heart and throat.....But I just calmly walked back to the car, I even gave a few awkward smiles along the way. I drove home in the pouring rain and put your beloved Audi in the garage.....

I walked up the steps to our house feeling exhausted and anxious....I opened the door and closed it behind me.....I fully expected at this point to break down sobbing....but instead it was like all the air had been sucked out of the house.....it was like the absence of light and warmth, like a black hole, with no gravity....I just felt like I was floating.....

I wandered the house looking out the windows....trying to make sense of my current place in the world......My compass was going haywire, I didn't know what I should do next, I tried to remember....but I had forgotten, I tried to find it but my search came up empty, I thought I heard something but it was nothing, I thought that I saw something, but it was not there.....I felt desperate....and I couldn't even fill myself up with tears....I tried to cry...but I just couldn't........

I thought about the other wives.....how much I admire them, how strong they are and still they were crying to, I think of the children I saw screaming and crying for their "Daddies".....all these images from the day filed through my brain......

I told myself to sleep. sleep would help me forget...and cope....but I just laid in bed.....wired and tired.....and the still the pictures.....the sounds, the light and the rain.....they just obliterate what is left of my heart.......

My phone.....you sent me a text....."See you on our star...."

I write you back "I'll be there waiting...."

This idea comforts me immensely and I fall asleep....

I am woken by a thunderstorm....the static in the air is so thick the hair on the back of my neck is standing.....I can feel the fear, and the impending doom of the dark clouds off in the distance....

But I smile at the danger.....you see when SOUL MATES separate it causes such a shift in the universe, the heavens get angry and thunder and lightning result.....



I tell myself to just breathe......my compass will soon point to you...LOVE ON YA- BIRDIE**

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife......**