Day 18
052412
A Memoir
Remember when........
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. - Peter Ustinov
You wanted that iPad so bad. I wanted you to have it but I didn't want you to ruin it on your deployment. Through the generosity of the parental units.....you received one for your birthday this year.
I was so happy.....but then I realized that was supposed to be the agreed upon present from me......(we don't really surprise each other any more with gifts.....and as much as I adore the romance of a surprise.....I really like the set up we have.....)
I felt bad for not having a back up plan......I am a terrible wife who didn't even get you a birthday present.....I regret that.....IMMENSELY....
So you got the iPad.....and I was happy for you I really was, but I just knew that you would be on that thing the WHOLE vacation if I didn't say something right at the beginning......I said "CHRIS! PLEASE DON'T BE iPAD MAN....PLEASE!" You whole-heartedly agreed......which should have been the first red flag......and what happened.....
You turned into iPAD MAN....you were on that thing ALL THE TIME.....BobDad even hid it from you one night and you spent like 30-45 minutes looking for it.....(I am laughing RIGHT NOW.) Anywho, we nicknamed it LILLY PAD and I started calling it the second wife.......
You were GLUED to that thing before you left.....JERKFACE.....but then I figured it out.....you were playing a SPACE GAME on it.....and even though I can take you to heaven, LILLY could take you to space.......
One night I clenched my fist and threatened to punch LILLY'S FACE IN....I was mostly joking, but you crouched over her like you were saving a child from a bear.......
Then our adopted child MARCO.....gave you a little toy for LILLY......you call it a "STYLUS" which I can't begin to tell you how pompus and corny that sounds......I called it LILLY'S PHALLUS.
One of the first texts you sent me after you left was "I forgot my STYLUS." Your so romantic LEGS.....I sent the damn PHALLUS, and I hope that LILLY is keeping you company....
I have taken up a new commitment as well......meet MY HOE.
He kinda reminds me of you.....very long, slender.....things aren't perfect, but he takes care of pests, and he feeds me......
I hope this brought a smile to your face, I hope that it made your heart happy, and that you remember how we are.......
LOVE ON YA- BIRDIE**
Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife......**
No comments:
Post a Comment