....echo....**

090214
beloved LEGS....

....I imagine that before you die the only thing in the world you want is to be held....to be touched and comforted....to feel safe....at least that's what I think....

....the same thing happens when your heart begins to die.....the words, the time, the absence of words......the absence of time....all act as weapons....mortally wounding the very organ needed to keep loving and keep fighting....

.....the blood oozes out....slowly....and the beating though it continues in desperation becomes labored and off rhythm....

I imagine the only thing that could bring it back to life is to be touched.....by you......you see that is the only thing that even comforts me these days.....is the thought of your touch.....I imagine feeling your cold skin.....your breath....the rise and fall of your chest.....the pulsing of the blood in your veins and that strong steady heart beating......under my head my ear pressed.....to your skin....under the cage of your ribs.....

....your fingers in my hair and in my hands.....the way you envelope me in your embrace.....that euphoric mixture of both freedom and safety.....those feelings are so distant and blurry.....I can hardly remember.....what it feels like to.....

.....I feel crazed without your touch.....so hungry for it....and frustrated and angry....and with my dying heart.....I become more rabid and weirder by the day..........getting my hair cut, getting a tattoo or being punched at training momentarily knocks the fury back....but getting THE LOOK or being complimented....only fans the flame of peculiarity.....

.....I'm still breathing.....and my dying heart is still beating...even though lethargic.....my eyes have glazed over.....and the blood that's spilled out from my heart.....has turned blackest black....I say your name....but I only hear an echo.....

....Just another day in the life of any unlikely military wife....**