Beloved LEGS....
....I had to delete someone from my life today.........And I am really blue about it.
My policy is never to delete, so you know it was pretty bad.......
.....it was one of those situations where there was a misunderstanding and no contact made for months. I saved hope that perhaps after some time had passed their could be a friendship rekindled...certainly, the friendship that was forged and built could be kept no matter the time and distance......I took a chance and reached out with some humor......shortly after I was antagonized by a third party....
....I found myself so angry my heart was beating in my ears, I felt vulnerable and actually a little afraid for my safety...and then decided it was best to eliminate these kinds of feelings and worries due to my current circumstances with you being away.....at the cost of losing a part of my life that I held in high regard.....
....I do not believe in generalizing a group of people, nor listening to....what the masses say....I prefer to always be accepting, open, and friendly- FRIENDLY- not just nice- to ALL people. That if you put good out you will get good back.....
....this whole situation has disenchanted me.....
....its made me think I was wrong. That maybe the reputation of different cultures should be heeded....I feel like I was.....used and tossed away......which has led me to feel like I lost a special naivety....how frustrating to believe that all people are beautiful, and deserve a chance.....only to be proven wrong by several.....
....I feel embittered that I trusted, shared and opened myself....that I believed in the friendship....a fool who is....laughed at, whispered about, and ridiculed....with no one to defend me...whats even worse is I let it keep me from living out loud and made me question the light I have within me.....
....a disappointing heartbreak.....my exploration ended with a stiff proclamation to RETURN HOME....and instead of feeling enriched, cultured, and worldly, I feel dirty....and merciless.....
....Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**
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