Beloved LEGS...
...SIGH....
....I missed a day or two of writing....but I honestly had nothing to write about.....besides my extraordinary gloominess.....
....I hibernated the entire weekend......I had to leave the house TWICE....and both times I had hoped that this firm disheartening melancholy would.....GO AWAY.....and instead....I found myself deeper in.....
....in my defense I needed rest....because I find myself scheduling every single second of every single day just so I don't slow down enough to think of you and to miss you.....sometimes....I feel like....its the right thing to do....to feel sad and to miss you.....to just....feel my feelings.....
....I some times think every one thinks my life is so glamorous, I am jet setting from one country to another, and then from one coast to the next. I get to see my family, my trainers, my friends, your family, and compete on a world level. It sounds.....so....famous and exciting.
....but.....I am stressing out. I am worried about keeping my weight, keeping my fitness, packing for a month long journey with several stops, boxing training, and a world boxing tournament. Not to mention being everything to every one....and what I mean by that is living, working, talking, cooking, and loving all the family members I am about to be around.....
And your not here. I think this will be the first big tournament I have done without you. And I am scared.
I have absolutely NO ONE....that I can talk to, that is going to understand what I am dealing with....because for every one.....and any one who would remotely understand....I have to put it on....
Its all enough to cause a lump in my throat as I write this....
I do not regret the path I have chosen, nor will I crater under the pressure of the commitments I have made.....I know....that everything I need to do this I have within me....
...I just wish....that I didn't feel so atypical so often.....
...Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**
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