Beloved LEGS.....
....June 4, 2010 Lucas "Lights Out" Flowers died of a drug overdose.
Dust never settles on his memory because I visit it so often.....I wonder where he went, if he was scared or sad or happy. If he regrets what he did. I wonder what our friendship would look like today. Sometimes I think about how our conversation would go if I called him. Would he be proud of me? I wish I could call him and talk about boxing with him.
Four years ago today.
....We were totally different people. We talked the other day about how many friends we have lost over the years.....
....how....their lives were a mere snapshot in time and they never had the time to become who they were supposed to be.....to be diabolical....sometimes I think about....who I used to be and despite my desperation to hang on to it....that magical innocence that has been diminished and lost over the years.....
......maybe....when your born....your the biggest most magical, wisest coolest person you were ever going to be in your whole entire life....and every day that passes.....pieces of that special are slowly steadily taken from you....and when you die.....that was the very last piece of your awesome......
....maybe that is why it always seems....the coolest ones go early......its because the world just eats them up......they are so beautiful and rare.....the world feeds on them....until there is nothing left....and that bright light.....it just goes out.....
....Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**
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