Beloved LEGS...
...Surprise.
The day you left was.....in terms of hard days.....pretty fucking hard. But since then.....I have surprised myself daily. I have awoken each day with a purpose, and my hours have been filled with numerous social events, training, and writing.....I have hardly had time to breathe......
....PURE, UNCONTAMINATED LOVE has been coming at me from all directions. I have laughed so hard my face hurt. And every single person I have surrounded myself with has looked at me with stars, admiration, and complete love.......in their eyes. It feels good.
.. but....tonight.....its like.....my emotions and thoughts had jet lag and are just now catching up.........That my life, and my mind, and my soul has quieted enough to realize....something is missing....something big.....the house is clean, and quiet.....and I think of you....
.....you have been so busy...which pleases me a great deal....but has allowed us no time to speak. In fact......I haven't heard from you in a pretty long while. A razor sharp thought pierces through my brain, and I shake my head, dismissing willfully, any negative to creep in........
...but it hangs on.....
I try to distract myself and even think its better if I sleep than go through this compulsive thought process about your safety and well being.....about every one's safety and well being....its only 6pm....I can't sleep yet.....but I am so tired and these thoughts of you being in danger or hurt are chasing me through the house......
....I crawl in bed and start reading my book. I practically launch out of bed when Karmella starts barking. Again......this blinding thought that they are coming to knock on my door......I stand at the top of the stairs peering down to the door.....she is still barking and I curse at her to stop scaring me.
That's it. I can't stand it anymore. I get on the internet to see if anything has gone awry.
Nothing has been reported.
Angrily, I turn out the lights and fall asleep.
......Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**
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