Beloved LEGS....
....The words exchanged between us haunt me now and then.....
...you wrote....that you wake up in the morning and go to bed in the evening loving me....and what happens in the middle matters not.....I do not mean to disagree with you my cherished.....while I know the sentiment intended was pure love, and to abscond me from poor behavior......
but your words have been an aching thought that I cannot dismiss......
....in our lives there are many, many beginnings....we begin new chapters often....especially in the military. New schools, new places, new responsibilities, new houses, new friends. And then there are the endings........We move or the people we have built our lives around move, being gypsies for months at a time, saying goodbye to all the places, and people leaving parts of our hearts behind.....
....I was reflecting on our lives these past few years.....and it occurred to me.....that with these deployments.....we surrender the middle......
...and we do it daily. We track the time before you must leave and how long before you return, and our lives revolve around these deadlines. How much time has passed since I last heard from you, how many hours you work, or how many flight hours you obtained.....I even made the foolish mistake of asking you what day/days you get off while you are deployed....only to receive a sour reply of "NONE".
....it is said that beginnings are scary, endings are sad and what happens in the middle is the most important part. For us its normal for our beginnings to be daunting, and our endings to be happy. And we forfeit the middle....
.....what happens during the middle of those times, is so unfathomable, scary, dark, cold, dangerous, depressing, numbing, and paralyzing in every way possible....its as if we live in a catatonic state until we arrive at the end.....
...LEGS.....I want the middle.....can't the world calm down enough so we can have a middle?
....Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**
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