Jethro Hunts For HOG.....**

WHAATTTUUPPP BLOG!

TANK GIRLZ Weather Record: Clear skies, sunny, windy and a bit chilly.

I tried on the dress for LEGS' graduation this morning.  It fits! WAHOO! And I needed LEGS to help me zip it.  He was of course awed with my appearance, I had to tell him to stop drooling and pick his jaw up off the floor several times.  Then I had to beat him off with a stick......True Story.

Got on the scale this morning.  138.8 so glad I didn't have to commit suicide, looks like diet and exercise actually do work- who would have thought?  I have been running three miles a day, which is no picnic in my neighborhood, and eating mostly fruits and vegetables, minus the chocolate coins and cheetos. 

This was the conversation at GIRLZ LUNCH today:


Let me preface this by saying I live in the country and there isn't much to do here in Enterprise, Alabama. 

Our friend 'Grumpy' is scheduled to deploy soon.  In a couple of weeks they are having a big going away bash for him.  At the going away bash they are going to have a huge bonfire.  Sounds fun right?

I guess in order to supply the wood for the fire the boys set out and gathered up about 60 Christmas trees that were set out for trash pick up post holiday.  

In addition to the red neck bonfire a team of husbands have been getting together after work and hunting for HOG.  (Side Note: YES I said hunting for HOG.  There are wild pigs down here in Alabama, they are considered a nuisance.  Instead of hunting for moose/bear like we do in Alaska, they hunt wild bore around these parts) 

So everyday when they get off work, they have been trekking out into the woods like Yosemite Sam to find 'HOG.' The idea is that they will cook up the HOG at the party.  So far, the only thing they have 'hunted' have been squirrels.  If they cannot get a HOG the plan is to substitute the menu with squirrel stew.  (this mental image alone makes me laugh because remember the sense of pride these gentlemen must possess)


Flora got home from work yesterday and there was a skinned squirrel in her kitchen sink.  She showed me a picture on her phone to prove it.  Flora is a regular knockout, she is sophisticated, a nice dresser, she reminds me a lot of my sister Megan, and I suspect this is all too much for her. (the skinned squirrel looked like a pink skinless rat)


Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would witness this conversation at lunch one day with some beautiful Army wives.......


The next topic of conversation was the husbands choice in 'dress up' apparel.  Apparently one husband wore his 'dress' OVERALL's over a white shirt to a wedding recently.  The reason they were 'dress' overall's is because they were black in color. NICE.......and I guess Grumpy's 'dress' shirt is a shirt with fish all over it.   


Let me just say, these men are not from Alabama.  But I do think there maybe a disease or virus that you get infected with when you move down here, because it just seams like you start talking weird, you get really lazy, I know that I look homeless most of the time, and now these men have lost their damn minds and are out there acting like Jethro out of the hillbillies........From now on 'Grumpy' will go by 'Jethro.'

I took Karmella to the VET today.  She had to get her shots updated, and they had to micro chip her.  It was incredibly hard to watch that gigantic needle enter my baby....she got so upset over the pain that she was trying to bite the VET.  

The VET doesn't even know how much more relaxed he made me feel about taking her to NEVER NEVER LAND.  He gave me all the information I need to get her documents figured out, and he gave me her tranquilizers to practice on her over the weekend.  Since the last travel/tranquilizer fiasco, where I literally thought I had killed the dog, this girl is going to figure how long it takes to kick in and how much she needs.......


Random Thoughts:

I texted LEGS yesterday, but he didn't respond so I figured he didn't receive the text.  When he got home last night, I was talking to him about the subject matter in the text and he said 'Yeah, I got your text.' HRRRMMMMMmmmmm......Yeah OKAY.......So today when I texted him I obviously need to make a formal request by saying 'If you get this.....you SHOULD respond.' Damn! Maybe Alabama effects your manners too?

Sh*t LEGS has the TANK and I have to take Karmella to the VET.  Up until this point I have refused to drive his vehicle for two reasons the last time I attempted to drive it (I was learning to drive a stick shift) I made the engine light come on, and his car is notoriously filthy.  I hope I can get the damn thing out of the driveway........

Well......I had to roll down the driveway because I couldn't figure out how to put the car in reverse. Once I got it into the street I had to put the flashers on to go get the dog- I didn't need Karmella distracting me while trying to operate the car.  Once I got to the VET I had to park in such a way as not to use reverse.  Luckily LEGS came to the VET and we were able to switch cars....SEESH....


Cheap Red Wine, Apples, Cheese, and Oreo McFlurry for later and FINALLY going to watch Sex & The City 2, makes me very happy.




Tank Girl Over & Out....


Just another day in the life of unlikely military wife.......**