Tank Girls weather commentary: It warmed up so much today that I over dressed and was sweating at the commissary.
I finally slept well in my own bed with my LEGS last night and it was marvelous. We both crawled into bed, skin on skin, and LEGS said:
LEGS:' Can you scratchey the backey?'
ARMS: Smiling in the dark while scratching his back.....
I woke up ready to do work today. We went to lunch then the PX. After the PX I cleaned out my closet, the guest closet, LEGS started on the Garage......we decided we need to have a garage sale........
My brother Carson turned 10 years old on January 8th. Its crazy how old he is, and hard for me to imagine what he is like, the things he says, how big he is. I called him to tell him Happy Birthday, he was listening to Snoop Dog- (holy cow! Snoop Dog!?! We listened to him in middle school! That man has some longevity!!!) Every time there was a lull in the conversation Carson would bust out rapping in his Snoop Dog voice....I was LMAO! SO CUTE!
The Mommy and I were talking about how mature he is the other day....he doesn't have many friends but I think kids his age are so immature he doesn't know what to do with them (which I can relate too).
I picked out a card that said this on it:
'Our world's keep changing and the stories of our lives keep unfolding in new directions but our lives are forever connected and no matter where our journeys lead, I'll always feel close to you because your so important to me and because your such a wonderful brother.'
LEGS asked me if it would be over his head- I said 'psshhhh yeah right!'
As a little girl I wished and wished for a brother. Every Christmas I asked for a brother.......I ended up with three younger sisters.......and finally.......at almost 18 years old I got a brother.
My best friend and I came up with his name. 'Carson Daily' was a VJ on MTV, whom we thought was hot, so we suggested 'Carson' to my pregnant Mommy. It means 'Son of the Family' so it stuck. (And it was a helluva a lot better than Garret which is what she was considering)
I remember the day he was born. I dropped my little sister Kay Bear off to school, and hurried to the hospital because he was on his way. I was in the delivery room at the ripe age of 17, 2 months short of 18.
I was frightened by The Mommy's face, I was ill with the sight of placenta.....I almost passed out. When he came out he was seriously blue because the umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck....he wasn't breathing.
I was terrified he wouldn't make it. For the first time in my life I actually witnessed how fragile life is.....I had no idea what I would say to The Mommy if he didn't make it.......Finally he started to cry and return to normal color. I was so relieved and happy, but exhausted......I couldn't believe how small he was and that I used to be that small.
I had super long hair, so I used to take a piece of it and run it along his cheek to make him smile while he was sleeping. I would do that over and over all the time......even though I am far away and I am not that close to him, he is so special to me and I firmly believe he was the light in the family when it was very very dark for us........
Love you Brother!
I had a very weird experience today.
I picked out a Birthday card for my Sissy Kaybear. She turns 21 on January 20th. She is several months pregnant with a little girl 'Rylee Elizabeth.' So the standard birthday cards and gifts wouldn't be appropriate for the age of 21.
I picked up a little something for her, but then sauntered over to the baby section. I felt lost, I have bought a few baby things for the baby shower's I have been to in my life, but it has never been for a child that I am so emotionally invested in. I started frantically looking for unique baby items that would be 'good and unique enough' for MY NIECE.....
I sat there and actually thought about my baby sister having a baby. How scared she must be. How serious this is......how I wish I could be there but I know that I am not going to be......how far away I am......and then I burst into tears......I am really upset that I cannot be there, but I hope that Kaybear is strong for me and for the baby.......
LEGS came to the rescue, he hugged me and helped me decide we should buy EVERYTHING I had in my hands......I came home and over-anxiously got everything ready to ship tomorrow......
I think all the thoughts of my brother being born, all the complications and emotions that I was having at that time, and thinking of Kaybear and Rylee made me get emotional......I do miss my family and I hope that they will get along and love each other because I am quite sure that I would have loved them harder and got along with them better if I had known this is how I was going to feel.......
Random Thoughts:
This is bullsh*t. They should have baby girl clothes with helicopters too.....I am going to make that sh*t my damn self.....don't these manufactures know girls can do anything boys can do and I am living proof of it!!!!
I am pissed at my Daddy. He has apparently set a date to marry his fiance' Lena on February 4th, but has neglected to tell the family. If you are reading this Dad- SMH......
I hope we have a successful garage sale.......that would be so great.....GOD, I know you have better things to worry about but could you help a sister out?
I'm hungry.........and sad......and tired.........
Sometimes I want to call people up and tell them to get off their a** and start treating my fabulous Sissy like she is F'IN Fabulous!!!! Do you know who I am? I am number seven and I will Canoe your face- you stupid stupid Bar Star! Its okay and I am okay.........jeez......seesh........
Waffles for dinner and Angelina Jolie's 'Salt' for a movie.....its shaping up to be a very good night indeed!
Over & Out....
Just another day in the life of unlikely military wife......**
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