Swish Pants and Panic Attacks....**

Heya Blog.....

TANK GIRLZ Weather Chronicle: It has been pouring down rain, the thunder has been so intense it has been setting off car alarms and shaking the house with its force.  The lightening has been violet purple in color and has been active across the entire sky.   

Okay let me see if I can describe this.  LEGS has to do PT at 550am.  Which means his alarm goes off at 5am.  (As I think I have mentioned before I get my best sleep between 4-7am) He is considerate, he lays his clothes out the night before, and gets dressed in the dark.  

The winter PT gear is silly looking, and VERY LOUD.  Its like those old school swish pants that my Elementary Gym Teacher Mr. Meyer used to wear.  They are kinda shiny, parachute material....and let me tell ya, they are called 'SWISH' pants for a reason.  The Jacket is this bizarre (jeez I even went and looked at the label because I don't know how to describe it) its Nylon, but its like this hard crinkly water proof swishy material.  So needless to say my husband sounds like some drag queen freak show, just swishing, swagging, gliding, grinding, and scratching all over the bedroom in the morning.....Really ARMY!?! Really?!

Man.....its incredible how quickly you lose your strength.  I went to Yoga this morning and my positions were good but my strength had completely vanished.  I was sweating, shaking and struggling the whole time.  When I left instead of feeling revived I felt exhausted......

Don't you hate it when you go for a run, and you think your really pushing it and making good time, just to get home and realize you were totally slow?

I am my father's daughter. I currently have 4 books on my nightstand, all of which I am reading.....sorta......

Queen Di texted me today and said:

'I thought I would take Clancy to Petco today to see if they have any toys he would like.  I have to be gone four hours tomorrow from him so I thought something new would be good.'


She called me a few hours later and this is our conversation.  

Phone Rings.
ARMS: 'Hello'
Queen Di:'Tiffany? Hey how are you? 
ARMS: I'm good....whats up?
Queen Di: 'Well Clancy won't get out of the car?.......
ARMS: Laughing....'WHAT!?!'
Queen Di: 'When I got to Petco, I put his leash on....and he wouldn't come out of the car.  I thought maybe he was afraid he was going to get groomed again.  So I went in by myself, and the lady looked at me like I was crazy because the dog wouldn't come in with me. (Laughing my a** off!) So I came home and now he won't come out of the car. Does he ever do that with you?'
ARMS:'Um......no!?!' (laughing some more) 
Queen Di: 'Well....he's trembling like Karmella trembles (Karmella does this because she is excited)...do you think he is sick? Or hurt?'
ARMS: 'Well maybe......' 

(Now I am starting to feel bad because I don't know how to help her.  I tell her he might be afraid to jump out of the car, so I tell her to get a box or a chair to help him step down.  We decide she will call me back.)

Queen Di calls back, and says that she showed him the chair, enticed him with a treat, but he just keeps laying down in the back of the car. 
I start telling her maybe he wants a longer ride...so maybe she should drive around the block and then try.  Or just leave him in the car with the door open and he will come out on his own....(The idea of Queen Di being forceful or tough with the dog is laughable and impossible at best!)

Right then LEGS came home.  He got on the phone.  He told Queen Di to push Clancy from the back...(this mental image is priceless)...that didn't work...then they put LEGS on speaker phone to try and get Clancy out of the car and that didn't work either..finally he told her to grab on to his collar and drag him out of the car.....It worked...Clancy finally came out......

Queen Di text conversation post-event.

Queen Di: 'Clancy's fine now. He's playing with his squishy ball.  I thought he would like a little shopping trip to Petco.  I guess he's not that much of a shopper.'
ARMS:'I can't stop laughing.'
Queen Di: 'He's konked out on my sewing room floor.  I think the experience exhausted him. '
ARMS:'Probably.....he experienced a Panic Attack.....do they have doggie xanax? Laughs!


Random Thoughts:


If someone wants to be a part of your life, then they will make the effort to do so.  


and


It is my opinion that......you should not accept people for exactly who they are when you know deep down they could be so much more.  'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, it is that we are powerful beyond measure.'


LEGS said this to me today 'Do you want me to take you upstairs and show you how smooth it is'.....Now if that isn't something out of 'Night at the Roxbury' I don't know what is.......(I will neither confirm nor deny whether or not this was sexual in nature).....


Tonight LEGS and I were in standing in the kitchen after dinner eating those damn chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil- you know the ones you get for Christmas and eat a million of because one isn't enough.  He walks over to the bathroom, lifts the lid and starts unbuttoning his pants.  Then he gets a blank stare on his face, shakes his head, puts the lid down and walks out.  


(In my mind: WTF?) ARMS: 'Uh....ya alright there?'
LEGS: 'Yeah I thought I had to go to the bathroom, but I don't have to go.'
ARMS: 'Okay......(laughs) that is going in the BLOG!'


TANK GIRL Over & Out...


Just another day in the life of unlikely military wife........**