Yeah Right Dude....Post Script...**

Post Script:

I warn you this is more about my Zombie Disease:

Classic chicken and Egg situation.  

I start feeling a little tired and warn out.  I tell myself that it might be the thyroid, but then I 'get real' and list all the things that I have going on that make me tired and warn out.  And I keep telling myself that until LEGS says I should go to the Doctor as a precaution and have my blood checked.  

I go to the Doctor and they say I am normal.  But I don't feel normal.  Since I haven't been on the same dose of synthroid for more than a few months- I start asking myself what is normal? Do I even know or remember what normal feels like? Seriously? Then I start thinking I am crazy. LEGS and I usually fight more, and I can't poop. 

When my mom was diagnosed a few years back- I remember hanging up the phone with her and telling LEGS on a normal basis that my mother was going to API (Alaska Psychiatric Institution) any day now........

I understand why now- I feel trapped inside my own body fighting a disease that I can't beat........it makes me feel like going insane.......

O.K. I am done telling you my long story full of sighs, what is wrong with the mall being open but nobody is shopping, or the elevator not going all the way up, or having no pages in the middle of my book........


Tomorrow I am going to embrace my psychotic tendencies.....stay tuned....


Just another 5 minutes in the life of an unlikely military wife.........**

Yeah Right Dude...**

I couldn't sleep again last night......even though I was tired all day long....So I laid in bed for two hours.....relaxing every muscle in my body, breathing deeply, switching positions, finally I took a melatonin- knowing full well I would wake up feeling groggy this morning.

I got 7 hours of sleep and woke up groggy, but I had many things to do today.  I hit the gym, went to the commissary, and by the time I got to my Doctor's appointment at 12:40pm I felt like I had been up for 48 hours straight.  I took a Vitamin B, and ate something.  But it didn't help.  

The Doctor, who is non-English understanding, thick Italian accented guy told me my ranges are NORMAL. Yeah-Right! Dude....I asked him what they were but I could not understand what the hell he was saying.  Then I asked him to check my finger to see if I have diabetes- he looked at me and said "No- you don't have that- that's not you."  What else could I say? (Just typing this makes me furious!!!!) So I left, defeated, and tired..........

I went to get my windshield fixed today.  What is about a pretty girl walking into an automotive shop that makes those guys come unglued??? And why can't they take more off the price if they are going to stare at me?  Yeah? Right? Dude.....

I am sure the guy was just being friendly, but as soon as I rolled up he came running out.  I was on my phone and had to end my call because I had Mr. Man standing outside my door starring at me like a freak show. I felt like a damn fish in a fish bowl.....(heavy sigh)Yeah Right Dude.....

He told me he could take the key off my key ring- but his hands were shaking so badly I had to do it.  Since the TANK has to sit for four hours I decided to leave it over night, the guy offered me a ride home- 

But I started thinking- yeah, right dude, I am going to get in a car with you- a stranger- in Alabama? Then, you will know where I live, and he even offered to come pick me up tomorrow morning- a little too over zealous for me. 

I have done some research since I have gotten home about what NORMAL ranges are.....it says the NORMAL ranges for this disorder were revised in 2003, but less knowledgeable doctor's are still using the old ones.  It also says that people with thyroid disorders do in fact experience sleeping disorders.  So I made an appointment with my primary care physician in two weeks (soonest I could get in) and still have an appointment with the Endocrinologist in January. At this point I am hoping to feel better by Christmas.......

I get so frustrated- (no you know what frustrated doesn't even begin to cover it) I feel so Timothy McVeigh- because I know my body and I don't feel well.  When I go to the Doctor and I say I am not feeling well first they look at me like "Well...you look fine..." Then they check my blood and tell me I am normal and look at me like I am just a freak show who has hypochondria.  Yeah right dude!!!- I don't like hospitals, or Doctor's offices, I have better things to do then come here and waste my time dealing with some mediocre joke of a Doctor....

LEGS is getting annoyed and irritated too.  He actually asked me today if I am tired because I am not THAT active.......BAHAHAHAHAHA- no but seriously- Yeah Right Dude......I am just as active as I have always been.....I know he's just hoping I am not sick again.  I have decided that if LEGS ever gets hurt I will take care of him no matter what.......

I get upset because I feel like I am a good person, and I do everything right- all I want is to feel normal. I would kill the damn thing if I didn't need it to have children. Then I think about all the a**holes out there doing nothing with their lives without this disorder......ahhhh the bitterness seeps through......I am proud of myself for not eating the rest of the cream cheese frosting in the fridge and having 10 glasses of wine....and also for forcing myself everyday no matter how sh*tty I feel to be a productive person......

"I do not ask to walk smooth paths nor bear an easy load. I pray for strength and fortitude to climb the rock strewn road.  Give me such courage and I can scale the hardest peaks alone, And transform every stumbling block into a stepping stone." Gale Brook Burket 

Just another day in the life of an Unlikely Military Wife......**

I was gonna kick today's a$$ but it kicked mine.....**

I woke up all motivated to get things done and I did get things done but not without several melt downs, and a argle bargle with LEGS.  I even said on my Facebook post "I am going to kick today's A$$."  Well that basically turned into "Sh*t today is kicking MY a**..."


In order for LEGS and I to comfortably live and move to NEVER NEVER LAND, we must put two of our children up for adoption.  Our children are 2 four legged hairy creatures that go by the name of Clancy and Jake.  

Clancy Duke is going to live in a big mansion, or beach house on the weekends-so basically leaving his pathetic sad life of modest means to be a CELEBRITY.  (can't you see his star quality and acting skills below?)

Jake the Snake! (said like 'Flava Flav!!!') is going to live as a personal bodyguard to two princesses that live in Alaska-Yes they are of the Royal McKay family.  (Can't you see Jake's superior fluidity? That is Karmella's dog bed he is on......Smooth is fast.....)

The problem is getting them to their new locations. Too bad tele-transporting hasn't been invented........ Since we are driving to the big mansion for Christmas-Clancy Duke is squared away...

But Jakey is so fly he needs to fly.  I have contemplated, stressed and wracked my brain on how/what/when/ from where would be best to fly Jake.  


So I made some calls today. I went to the Vet and sheepishly told them my complicated travel plans.  "Drive to Oregon, Ship Jake to AK, Drive Back from Oregon, Get Karmella ready to go to NEVER NEVER LAND." This happened when I left AK to come down here too, but usually the people at the Vet place look at me like I am a psycho crazy person who has a dick drawn on her forehead.  

Long story short, the Vet tried to convince me not to book an appointment with them (probably because I am the crazy lady), the airline people didn't answer my questions the first time I called, when I called back they tried to charge me $931 to get Jakey to AK (EXPLETIVE!!!!- Yeah Right!).  

The the Clever Fox in me outsmarted both of them- I will get the Health Certificate because AK Airlines considers them valid for 30 days as opposed to 10, I will fly Jake the Snake from Portland to AK for the bargain price of $608 (which would be better for him anyway)- to begin guard duty immediately. 

LEGS is trying to get the windshield replaced in the TANK for our trek to Oregon for Xmas.  (side note the windshield is trashed) So he called the insurance company and they wanted to charge him $600+ to fix it, so he outsmarted them and got it to $300+, by a local dealer. 

Moral of the story DON'T MESS WITH MR. & MRS. SMITH. (Does it matter that we almost killed each other in the process of all this?- Not when you are the real life MR. & MRS. SMITH- side note : they changed the name for the movie because they didn't want everybody calling it MR. & MRS. COUSSENS- mis-pronounced COUSINS....)

When I actually started thinking about giving Jake up today- I started to cry, and then sob, then wail, and turn into a hot mess....it got the point where I couldn't breathe and snot was running down my face...I kept choking and snuffing up....totally pathetic......

I get mad at myself for caring so much and being so attached to A DOG.  But I am going to miss even the annoying things they do when they are gone.  


I am going to miss them following me around everywhere, especially in the morning when they know a walk is coming. (BTW this drives me totally batty)
I am going to miss them waking us up too early to be fed, by stirring, pacing nervously like we might have forgot- or we might not wake up at all..... breathing hot stinky dog breath in our faces, and my personal favorite scratching their collars around their necks to make it sound like a obnoxious tambourine.....
I am going to miss when I make the bed how I tell them to move so I can walk around the bed, and they switch from one side to the other as I walk back and forth......Clancy has real talent in this one- that is why he is going to BE A CELEBRITY........
I am going to miss feeling secure as a person, feeling secure in my house, and feeling secure when I walk down the street........and I am praying they will all be okay without each other.......

I am sure the reason I am so emotional is because of my ZOMBIE DISEASE.  The results from my Zombie Blood should be back tomorrow, and I have yet another Dr. Appointment to go to..can't you tell I am thrilled?

LEGS is making pancakes for dinner......Pancakes makes everything better.....doesn't it?


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.........**

Workin' on my TANK.....**

LEGS went to the gun range yesterday......I really wanted to go its been awhile since I went shooting, so I know I am rusty.  But Ammo is expensive and if I went we would have to divide the ammo in two.  So I decided to stay home.............Besides what's the point when we can't have guns in NEVER NEVER LAND?

I got into the shower, and was just thinking how he left without kissing me goodbye and then of course worrying about his safety....off in my own little world......when some stranger figure came around the corner into the bathroom......I froze in mid-lather, soap everywhere and screamed the loudest blood curdling scream I could manage......I was so frightened and scared.....I soon realized it was-JUST LEGS-, but I just kept screaming, starring at him screaming bloody murder....he is starring back at me......I got really ticked off, because I suspect that is what I would do if it were a REAL stranger- just stand there and scream......

We watched some good boxing last night. I am proud to say that I have met Glen Johnson, who is now a part of the Super Six Boxing Classic Tournament.  I met him at the Golden Gloves, got a picture with him, he watched my Championship fight where I won the National Golden Gloves and congratulated me afterward..........

I am getting tired of taking my TANK to the dealership and waiting an obscene amount of time for them to do a basic amount of work, and getting charged an obscene amount of money.  Since we are driving to Oregon, I wanted to get a tune-up on the TANK, nothing worse than being on a road trip with a broken rig.  

Yesterday LEGS started doing some research on the internet on how to tune up the TANK.  Its amazing what they have out there these days, we were able to locate a video on how to do everything on a FJ Cruiser Forum......I was sitting there thinking- I could do whatever he does- and if he is going to work on MY TANK- then I was going to at least supervise....I told him I wanted to learn how to do it myself.......SO..... 

We did it.  I did most of the work, I needed help taking everything apart and putting it back together again- because I have never worked on a engine before, but we changed the oil, the spark plugs, the engine air filter and the cabin air filter.  I was surprised how easy it was and how much cheaper.  In fact it was a little easier for me because my hands are small and I was able to get places with more grace than LEGS.

I was thinking the whole time, how much I like to tinker with stuff like that, how much fun it is to take things apart, put new parts on, fix stuff- wish I would have learned years ago.  I have now acquired another tool for my post-apocalyptic survival......

Just another day in the life of an UNLIKELY military wife.......**
 

Going to Never Never Land.......**

I have been suffering from a turkey and wine induced catatonic state today.  Its pouring down rain outside which gives me an even bigger excuse to be lazy.  

I am very proud of LEGS though- he went through three boxes this morning of stuff that I wasn't sure we should take to Germany.  We decided to keep the old DVD player because the DVDs over there are a different format so the Xbox might not play them.

There have been some realities about moving to Never Never Land (GERMANY) that we have hit full speed in the past week. One, is that apparently where we will be is so remote we have been told the only internet you can get is dial up.  I think it took LEGS and I several hours to break out of the shock and awe we were in after hearing this.  The back up plan is hopefully getting satellite, however, that is very expensive.  

Also, LEGS and I have become very accustomed to having our guns.  There is guns strategically placed all over the house- in case we need them.  Some of the things I have been through, seen, and have knowledge of have made me a very paranoid person, and certainly one that refuses to be victimized. 

We cannot take our guns to Germany unless we want them to be locked up at a Gun Club.  And then....What the hell is the point? I am upset about this because I will have no gun, no Jake, and will be in a country that has a high crime rate (yes we looked it up) despite what people think.......with LEGS getting deployed....

I guess all I can say is I feel sorry for any body that attempts to victimize me over there because there attack will not be humane in the least- I fully intend on getting a knife and learning how to use it- along with a bow and arrow, a Louisville slugger, poisonous darts, a viking sword, a machete, hot oil and plague........

I promised Crystal, Stormi's aunt at Thanksgiving yesterday that I would teach her how to knit today.  I am feeling lazy and tired, but I love knitting and feel its a dying art- so I must pass it on........I knit so I don't kill people....passing on this kind of peace to somebody else makes me very happy!

Teaching Crystal to knit was such a pleasant experience, she is a fast learner. Her and I gossiped all afternoon about life, people, writing, and knitting of course.  I love to hear other people's life stories, I take them with me and use the wisdom in the story in my own life.....LEGS and I were invited to dinner for Spaghetti and Meatballs with Stormi's family again- and I could not be more honored!!!

It was a beautiful night, playing games, laughing, telling stories, enjoying good food and good people.  I don't think Stormi's family realizes what pleasure they have given LEGS and I to be a in a family atmosphere.........

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.......**

A Texan Thanksgiving in Alabama....**

The night before Thanksgiving, LEGS and I were eating dinner.  I could see the wheels turning in LEGS' head, so I asked him what he was thinking about?  He said 'Do you really want to know?' I said Yes of course I want to know what you are thinking about?  In my mind- I guessed he was thinking of some forbidden thing- like another female or something.......No.  He says.  "I am wondering if we are getting enough Iodine....because our salt doesn't have iodine in it."  Where does he come up with this stuff?

LEGS and I have hijacked Stormi's family the last two days.  

Stormi is 5'3" tall she reminds me of Sandra Bullock in the movie 'The Blind Side' she is a teeny tiny firecracker, a cheerleader/dancer extraordinaire she was on the Atlanta Arena Football Dance Team.  She was kind enough to invite LEGS and I to Thanksgiving Dinner.  I was told that her mother, Darla,  and her step father John (who served in Vietnam) would also be attending, but when I arrived the house was full of other adults.  Her Aunt Crystal, her Uncle Ed (who served in the Air Force), and their teenage son Westyn were in attendance as well. 

Stormi's mother has Spina Bifida and is in a wheelchair- which Stormi had told me- but when her Aunt answered the door standing- I said 'You must be Stormi's Mom?' Yeah- IMA WINNER!!! Spina Bifida is a birth defect caused by the incomplete enclosure of the embryonic nueral tube. Some vertebrae overlying the spinal cord are not fully formed and remain unfused and open.  If the opening is large enough, this allows a portion of the spinal cord to protrude thought the opening of the bones. 

Darla (Stormi's mother) is a pistol as well, she will tell you like it is, look you straight in the eye, her face is breathtakingly beautiful and it was inspiring to see such confidence in a woman that was born with this defect.  I was also impressed by the level of commitment John her husband displayed in assisting her with normal everyday activities, to love somebody that much is a rare thing in today's society. I could see he has great empathy in his heart and I suspect it is because of his service in Vietnam. It was a perfect thing to witness on Thanksgiving Day, because it really does make you thankful for what you have in life.........

Crystal Stormi's Aunt is an artistic, sensitive woman, with deep insight and intuition.  Ed is a strong man, who is genuinely interested in the young people of today.  Their teenage son Westyn, is a handsome, charming young man, who is going to make some girl very happy one day.  These people welcomed us into their home, on their holiday, and showed us some genuine Texan hospitality.  They were interested in our stories, spoke of current events, politics, and made us feel like part of the family.

The conversation over Thanksgiving Dinner was lively, full of laughter and funny stories.  Some of the highlights were:


There was a conversation about teeth, the tooth fairy and orthodontics. I of course made fun of myself because I had braces for 5 years and head gear for 4.  It always makes me laugh when people's face head in the direction of shock after I tell them this- I readily admit I had teeth coming out of everywhere in my mouth.....We started asking the parents if they actually kept all of our baby teeth? What a weird tradition.........

What military family Thanksgiving would be complete without the discussion of death? I hate to say it but death is just part of everyday life in the military.  We talk about it openly and are very realistic about the risks involved in our husbands, sons, son-in-laws, and brothers career choices.  

After WOCS (Warrant Officer Candidate School) we have to sign paperwork that selects whether we as wives want our husband's clothing back bloody or clean (if something should happen). I chose bloody because I wanted all of LEGS that I could have.....but the other wives wanted clean.  Am I a freak? 

Some people want to be put in Arlington Cemetary, some want to be made into Diamonds, some cremated or just buried.........It was an engaging conversation to me because everybody has a different idea of what they want done and what they think happens when you die.......


Darla Stormi's mom told us that her Grandmother had a glass eye.  Apparently when they cremated her they asked if Darla wanted the eye.  Darla kept the eye and its now in the family safe.  I found this fascinating- I mean can you imagine scaring your kids with Grandma's eye? Like instead of Santa watching you- its Grandma is watching you- WITH HER EYE!!!! (Laughter around the table)


The food was excellent.  Little Spoon smoked the Turkey, Stormi made the most amazing sweet potatoes, a strawberry bisque that I put on my turkey (salty and sweet) and the Banana Pudding was TO DIE FOR!!!  I ate an entire plate of Thanksgiving feast and an entire plate of Dessert. I was so full, and it has taken me two entire days to recover from my Turkey Catatonia......

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.......**


PS- I forgot my camera so I am apologizing for not posting any pictures! :(





 

A Thanksgiving Happy Have!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

My family sent me a card for Thanksgiving, I thought it was funny so I am going to share it with you:

How to Roast a Turkey

Step 1: Defrost Turkey
Step 2: Drink a Glass of Wine
Step 3: Place Turkey in the Oven
Step 4: Drink another Glass of Wine
Step 5: Preheat the degree at 400 Ovens
Step 6: Drink Two more Glasses of Wine
Step 7: Roast the Wine for Four Hours
Step 8: Glass Yourself a Wine of Pour
Step 9: Tuff the Turkey
Step 10: Bless the meal and Call a Cab

A Thanksgiving Happy Have!!!

This is actually perfect for how I felt today.  I didn't even have anything to drink and I felt like parts of my brain had been removed.  However, now that I have had plenty to drink and am currently suffering from a Turkey induced catatonic state- I feel it is in the best judgment of my reputation to stop telling stories now more funny things to share tomorrow!!!


PS- Did you know that 'PS' means Post Script? Anyway
I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. -G.K. Chesterton

I am thankful not just for today, but everyday for always having more than I need, and living a life I never thought possible........

I miss my family in AK, but want to send out a special thanks to Big Spoon and her family for taking us Orphans in for Thanksgiving and showing us a great big TEXAN Thanksgiving, we appreciate your hospitality and are forever grateful......

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife........**

PUNKIN' PIE

Betcha didn't know that my Daddy called me Punkin' Pie.....I wanted to make Pumpkin Pie from scratch because it is my favorite this Thanksgiving....

Crust:

Ginger Snap Cookies About 24

6 Table Spoons of Butter

1/4 Cup of Sugar

Cinnamon and Nutmeg to add more flavor........

1. In a small saucepan or the microwave, melt 6 tablespoons of butter.
2. Place about 24 graham crackers in a plastic bag. Roll with a rolling pin until finely crushed. This may be done in small batches.
3. Measure 1 1/2 cups of graham cracker crumbs into a medium bowl.
4. Add 1/4 cup of sugar to the graham crackers.
5. Add the melted butter.
6. Stir or blend together with your hands.
7. Press into the pie plate or other pan.
8. Add a little cinnamon, nutmeg, or allspice to the crumbs for a spiced flavor.

Pumpkin Pie: 

1/4 Cup of Sugar

1/2 Teaspoon of Salt

1 Teaspoon of ground Cinnamon

1/2 Teaspoon of ginger

1/4 ground cloves

2 large Eggs

1 Can Pumpkin

I Can evaporated milk

1. Mix sugar, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves in a small bowl.  Beat Eggs in a large bowl, stir in pumpkin, and sugar spice mixture. Gradually stir in evaporated milk.

2. Pour into pie shell

3. Bake in preheated oven at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake for 40-50 minutes - or until knife in center comes out clean. 

4. Cool for 2 hours. Serve or Refrigerate.

Tip: Do not bury your crust with filling like I did.  Can't say how it tastes I haven't eaten it yet.....but this is how it looks**

Pumpkin Spice Muffins...AKA MUFFIN CAKES**

Makes 1 Dozen

Ingredients:

2 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

2 Teaspoons baking powder

1/4 Teaspoon salt

1 Teaspoon Pumpkin Spice

2 Eggs

1 cup Light Brown Sugar

1 cup Hood Pumpkin Egg Nog

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 Teaspoon rum extract

1 Teaspoon vanilla extract

3/4 cup Walnuts

Preheat Oven to 400 Degrees

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and pumpkin spice. Fold the walnuts into the sifted flour and set aside.

In a medium sized bowl, beat eggs and brown sugar. Add the Hood Pumpkin Egg Nog, butter, rum and vanilla extract and blend well.

Create a well in the center of the dry ingredients: pour the eggnog mixture into the center, stirring lightly and swiftly just to mix. Do not over mix, the batter should be slightly lumpy.

Spoon the batter into the muffin tins.  Bake 20-25 minutes. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes.

* Put cream cheese frosting on top to make MUFFIN CAKES.....Which I intend on doing tomorrow so the frosting won't dry out.....**

Chicken and Apples Recipe

Ingredients:

• 6-ounce can frozen apple juice concentrate
• 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1-3 teaspoons curry powder
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 3 Granny Smith apples, cored and thickly sliced
• 1/3 cup chicken broth
• 1 tablespoon cornstarch

In small bowl, combine thawed apple juice concentrate, nutmeg, and curry powder.

In small microwave-safe dish, combine butter, onions, and garlic. Microwave on high for 1-2 minutes until onion is softened. Place mixture in bottom of 3-4 quart slow cooker. 

Dip each chicken breast into the juice mixture to coat and place in crockpot over onions. Pour any remaining juice mixture over the chicken. Add salt and pepper to taste. 

Cover and cook on low for 5-6 hours until chicken is almost cooked. Add apples and cook 40-50 minutes longer on low until apples are tender and chicken is thoroughly cooked. 

Mix together broth and cornstarch in a small bowl and stir into the liquid in crockpot. Cover and cook on high heat, stirring occasionally, until sauce is thickened and bubbly, 10-15 minutes. Serve with some hot cooked brown rice. Makes 6 servings 

If you have a new hot crockpot, check the chicken after 4 hours on low. If the sauce doesn't get thick enough, just add more cornstarch mixed with chicken broth or apple juice.

I recommend this recipe- It was very good, I did not have cornstarch so I used flour instead.  It worked out really well. I also made more 'gravy' and put it over Apple Stove Top Stuffing instead of rice....**

Tiggles the Turkey....**

(In a sexy weather girl voice) Hello, this is Tank Girl with your local, Oregon, and Alaska weather forecast. Here in LA (Lower Alabama) we are experiencing a balmy 78 degrees, mostly sunny skies with a slight breeze that everybody is THANKING J.C for! In Oregon, the whole state has shut down due to snow and very cold temperatures......In Alaska, school has been shut down for the last two days due freezing rain and glare ice.....This is Tank Girl your weather girl.... Over and Out-

Yesterday I attempted to go for a run on my bum ankle.  I basically looked like a geriatric running down the street with one hip cocked out, a bum leg lagging behind, limping hardcore.... but cars kept driving by and the neighbors might have been watching- so I just kept running (with a purpose), finally I got close enough to my house that I could walk-(cool down right? ) So...yeah, I started to think about how many people do the right thing because they just 'think' people are watching them.........am I paranoid???

My ears are ringing....I hate that....I think its stupid they say somebody is talking about you when that happens- if you have something to say- SAY IT.....to my face.....

Last night LEGS and I were having what I thought was a 'romantic moment' in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner.  A really good song came on so we started slow dancing- I thought he was leaning into me to kiss me when in fact he was trying to get ice and water in his glass from the automatic ice machine on the fridge behind me......what a poop head....

I baked a pumpkin pie today from scratch for my first time.  I cannot believe how much of the stuff we eat has an incredible amount of sugar in it........I wonder if there is a substitute? That will be next on my list....finding a substitute for sugar- maybe I could invent one and make a lot of money- too bad I'm not much of a chemist.....Anyways I had to make a homemade crust using Ginger Snap cookies- but I needed a rolling pin and didn't have one.  So I put the cookies in a zip lock and rolled them with a cup-(tip from Sissy Megs) Man,  I was working up a sweat! Rolling cookies into crumbs is A LOT of work!

I also made Pumpkin Spice Muffins from scratch.  I originally thought they were cupcakes when I looked at the recipe- maybe I sub-consciously wanted cupcakes.  So I asked LEGS to try them- and was questioning weather or not I should put cream cheese frosting on them.  He said I should and then I can call them 'MUFFIN CAKES.' I think LEGS should be Bronzed and than put on a special platform.....he won't need much of a caption on his statue- "LEGS" will do- because that is ALL people will notice.....

So I just got done reading this book its called 'A Reliable Wife' by Robert Goolrick.  It was a book recommended by and sent to me by my sister Rachel and is also on the NY Times Best Seller List.  It was a very good book, however, it was a tad depressing and disturbing.  Although I will say that I stayed up half the night finishing it because I wanted to know the ending......Part of the book has to do with arsenic poisoning.  (Side note: it was the most disturbing part of the book to me) Last night after we ate dinner LEGS said that I have become a very good cook- so good in fact he wonders if I am poisoning him with arsenic.  OMG!!! I was horrified to the point of tears- LEGS- was like 'What is wrong!?!' So I had to tell him all about the book.......poor thing.....

My family is amazing. In the last three days I have received a super cool card from The Mommy, a CD and card from Grams and Pops, and a care package from my sister Rachel.  The care package had floating thanksgiving candles in it, and this glass turkey........I think its for candies or something.....I took it upstairs to my blog writing spot- because I didn't want to share it with anybody else- I don't even want anybody else looking at my Turkey- his name is 'Tiggles' LEGS named him.

I asked him how he came up with that name, he said he wanted to name it 'Tank' the turkey but couldn't because I am Tank Girl. Then he said 'Tex' the turkey but he doesn't like Texas (Oh dear if our hostess for Thanksgiving tomorrow knew this I am afraid we would be uninvited) So he said 'Tiggles' because it rhymes with giggles.  Is being out in the country affecting us???

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife......** 

Rain brings a RAINBOW......**

I don't know why, but LEGS will ask me if I want a glass of water.  I usually say No.  Then I see HIS glass of water.  Its beautifully clear, with the perfect amount of ice, sweating......in a pretty glass.  Then suddenly I get so thirsty- its like I have been crawling through a dry desert for days and its not a mirage his glass of water is real......Why does HIS water taste better than my POTENTIAL water?

Last night we tried to watch a movie off the instant que function on Netflix.  It was amusing for several reasons.  Do you ever feel overwhelmed with the amount of choices we have today? There are so many movies to choose from that I think its hard for both of us to pick one.  I often feel like this in the toothpaste section at the store- yes I want whitening, but I don't like that flavor, I heard Colgate is better than Crest, but what about cavity protection? Do you get the one that tastes good or the horrible looking "old people" toothpaste?

Anyway my point is that it was interesting the movies that I looked more closely at versus the ones that LEGS looked at. Like the movies he examined were ones that I just skimmed over and the ones that I looked at were the ones that he went over at the speed of light. Or I love it when he refuses to watch a movie, then I do the bottom lip out, bat of the eyes pouty dance and he gives in- then thoroughly enjoys it.  He gets mad because when I see he likes it- I say "Man this is such a bogus movie, we should turn it off, I don't know why I even picked it out."

I went to the Doctor today.  I always hate the Doctor's office, I feel like they really don't care about you or your health problems.  Its always freezing cold, I always wonder what are they trying to do- freeze us out so they can take us to the morgue sooner- or do people who are cold b*tch less than people that are hot? My mind also wanders places that it just shouldn't, like I wonder what is wrong with everybody. I come up with these elaborate stories, like that guy over there- yeah the one with the funny face- has some disease they don't even know about- sh*t we made eye contact did he know that I was diagnosing him? Sh*t he is still looking at me.......well so much for that......It was a complete waste of my time.......they can't do anything without the results of my ZOMBIE blood....(insert zombie jerk and spit...)

They had the news on in the Doctor's office.  The coverage of the North Korea attack on South Korea was on.  When I see these things, it really troubles me.  I am no longer afforded the luxury of seeing conflicts on the news and showing a distant concern secretly thinking in the back of my mind THANK GOD ITS NOT HERE.  I see the faces of the people that I know, love, and call friends that are going to be over there during this mess.  The potential sacrifices of families and those of my Grandfather and his men during the Korean war haunt my mind- sometimes I choke up and can't bare the anger and sadness.........sometimes I feel like the world is too much for me.........( is a ZOMBIE tantrum appropriate here?)

After that ridiculous fiasco I went to the gym to sit in the sauna for awhile. One of my favorite people I have ever met down here is a 4ft. Korean lady named "Miss Judy Looty." She got the nickname running races- she is in very good shape for being 80- works out every single day even on bad knees....

I haven't seen her in awhile because I have been going to the gym later in the day.  She was so happy to see me- she came running up and hugged me (side note: I am sweaty in the sauna) - she said she thought I left without saying goodbye.  She is so cute.  Don't wear your shoes on the sauna benches or bring up politics- she's a small angry Korean lady who will tell you like it is!!!

Her English is hysterical, she wears this purple shower cap, puts cream on her face, and does these funny looking exercises for her knees- and she is the biggest chatter box! She told me that she was in Germany twice- and they loved her because she made them Kimchi and the Germans love Kimchi (makes sense-sauerkraut).  It comforted me that she could navigate and make lifetime friends in Germany with her English being so mediocre. 

She is one of my lifetime friends although she doesn't know it yet. She has touched me a way that I shall always remember.  Her husband died 5 years ago, they were married for a very, very, VERY long time.  She says she still announces her arrival home because she forgets he is gone, smiles when she talks about him and sometimes she cries- in a modest, joyful sort of way. She has made me see that a love like that is possible and that you can continue to live life and bring happiness to others even when you are operating with just your ARMS and not your LEGS.

I have had a lot of time to think today about how people come into your life and touch you, change you, and they don't even realize it.  Most the time you don't either.  Until years later.  

Like that neighborhood friend that you used to kick it with- all those stages, playing dress up, dressing up, summer days, school days.  The parents that were around- to provide a safe place for us to act like idiots- back when things were all rainbows (; D).  The teacher in High School that inspired you to follow your dreams, the College Professor that demonstrated you are ACTUALLY intelligent, meeting a very special man in Uniform who makes you feel like you can take on the world while he is actually out taking it on, Co-workers that have your back, Forever Friends, Acquaintances that show you comfort in a strange place, Siblings, parents, in-laws- FAMILY.......you could never be who you are without them.....

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**

The Skinny on what I am eating....**

I haven't been very good about posting my meals.  I sometimes feel burned out on planning meals- so here is hopefully some help as far as ideas are concerned....Here is the skinny on what I am eating lately......some of it is recipe but most of it is not.

We bought a steamer a few years back and its one of the things we use the most.  We steam all of our veggie's in it.  I think they taste way better and are more healthy than out of the can. I also am a big fan of putting fruit on my salad's its that salty sweet thing.  But notice how its 75% vegetables- this is what boxers eat to watch their weight. Chai Tea on the side sweetened with honey and Pumpkin Egg Nog.

Cobb salad. Green Onion, Avocado, Tomato, Boiled Egg, Spinach, Blue Cheese. We used a steak we froze in the freezer (in place of chicken to us up what we have)- I don't like the way they taste after you freeze them so we used them this way and it worked out really well because all the flavors covered that frozen steak taste.  I put light Ranch on the side- so I don't use so much dressing (more fattening). Salt and Pepper to taste.

 Lemon Chicken with Creamy Mushroom sauce. (Courtesy of Amber Dees)

Ingredients:
6 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 lemon
1/4 cup butter
3 cups fresh sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup chicken broth
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley


Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Place the olive oil in an 8x8 glass baking dish. Place the chicken breasts in the dish, coating each side with oil. Squeeze the juice of 1/2 lemon over all. Slice the rest of the lemon and place a lemon slice on top of each chicken piece. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 to 40 minutes until brown.

In a large skillet, melt the 1/4 cup butter or margarine. Add the sliced mushrooms. Cook and stir until the mushrooms are brown and have exuded their juices, about 6 minutes. Sprinkle with the flour and blend. Add the chicken broth, stirring to make a medium thick sauce. Allow to reduce, adjusting with a little more broth to make a creamy sauce. Add fresh parsley at the last minute. Spoon the sauce over the lemon baked chicken breasts. 

It turned out very good. I also made pumpkin bread- but forgot to take a picture.

I am a ZOMBIE.....**

I have not been sleeping well.  But I have also been abnormally tired for the sleep that I am getting.  I suspect that my thyroid is messed up AGAIN......

(For those of you that don't know: 
Hyperthyroidism is an auto-immune disorder that slows down the bodies chemical processes and metabolism that results in fatigue, weight gain, depression, it is harmful to babies, and causes low body temperature, sluggishness, weakness, dizziness, memory problems, low libido (poor LEGS), inability to concentrate, and infertility.)


I have been infected and am now a ZOMBIE.  (zombie grunts) I drag my feet, I am cold, I wander around aimlessly trying to remember what I forgot, I am not very smart, its hard to speak coherently, I get fixated on things and irritated very easily- so I fly into to a rage for no reason.  I also am very emotional and needy.....so I wail for no apparent reason.  And I tend to grumble, grunt, growl, drool, throw tantrums and spit more......Good thing LEGS has taken the ZOMBIE SURVIVAL COURSE......

He took me to get my blood drawn and to harass people to get me an appointment before the long holiday weekend. It was semi-successful, I have an appointment but my lab results won't be back for a week.  (zombie growls)



I feel bad he got home from simulators, and put comfy clothes on.  Just to put his flight suit back on a half hour later.  While I struggled to get into the shower and stood in my closet (drooling) trying to put myself together- (all I want to do is put sweats on and go back to bed) but I slowly managed a pair of jeans and a nice shirt on. Getting showered and dressed is the equivalent of running a marathon...(insert zombie tantrum here)...Is is time for a nap yet?



This could explain why I was ramming and running like a freak show in the store the other day picking up those ingredients for the recipes.  (dragging my feet)
Why my feet have been frozen icicles lately and I have been sleeping in a ridiculous amount of clothing.  (insert exorcism behavior here)
At least I have an excuse for getting fat. (insert more drooling and spitting)
Last night we watched a show that isn't meant to be funny or sad, there I was laughing and crying for no reason....... (insert zombie wailing)


After we went to the hospital we went to the commissary to get the things that I forgot for those recipes.  We got a basket because we didn't need that much.  My legs feel like I have 10 pound cement blocks on them.  LEGS carried the basket and I carried a bag of frozen chicken up to the check out.  I stood there while LEGS rang up all of our items.  He was all checked out and getting ready to pay before I remembered I had the bag of frozen chicken in my hand and it too needed to be rung up. (insert normal zombie dissociation here)  I think I need a nap.......


When we got home he asked me where I put the crackers.  I just starred at him blankly (insert zombie drool) thinking of where I might have put them, once I remembered I tried find the words to tell him (insert zombie babble here)- by then he had already found them and moved on to the next task.

After our brief trip I needed a nap.  I have been up for two hours and I feel the need to go lay down again......I hate it because its the exact opposite of who I am.  I normally have a lot of energy, I am together, organized, I like to look nice and I hate sleeping.......(insert zombie tantrum here)

I am hoping to have the anti-zombie serum before Thanksgiving so that I can make those recipes without burning the house down and conduct myself in socially acceptable NON-ZOMBIE like way at Thanksgiving dinner..............


Just another day in the life of an unlikely ZOMBIE military wife......**

I must be losing my mind....**

I don't know exactly why but apparently I have a special super power- its the ability to get very little sleep and somehow still function.  I am tired, sleepy.....utterly exhausted.....but when I go to bed, I fall asleep and then 2 hours later I am wide awake.  I don't feel stressed, but I think I might really be stressed about the holidays and our big move to Germany.  I lay there in bed and think I am so wide awake its like I just drank a cup of coffee.  I have starred out the window, did a 3am tour of the house in the dark, read my book and cleaned the house all before 6 am this week.  I must be losing my mind......

Last night I thought Clancy might be dead- I couldn't hear him breathing.......so I just sat there and watched him, but I couldn't see him breathing- I was so terrified that he actually might be dead that I couldn't bring myself to touch him, because in my mind I wanted LEGS to find him in the morning....I must be losing my mind.........

My face is breaking out like I am in high school and have a big date coming up......

I have decided its time to start cooking.  My little plan is that I will cook so much that I might actually be good at it one day.......So the other night I wrote down what I would need for 4/5  new recipes on my grocery list.  The next day I went to the store and learned a valuable lesson- when you write down your grocery list for a new recipe you should put how much of each ingredient that you need, you should also make your list very clear and double check it.  

I was in the running back and forth down the aisles. Putting stuff in the cart, taking stuff out of the cart, talking to myself, sweating, scratching my head, rocking myself back and forth, having sudden outburst of Tourrett's.....when I get home and double checked the recipes I had bought several things that I don't need- but I wrote them down.  I bought the wrong thing even though at one point I had the right thing in my cart........I must be losing my mind...........

I have these bottles/jars for excess change.  I save them up for a long period of time and I always tell myself we could use them if we get into a bind.  My big plan is to cash them out before we go to Oregon for Christmas. I saw LEGS leaving the quick stop yesterday on base.  I told him I wished I would have called him and had him pick me up some wine because I was in a hurry to get to the vet before it closed.  

He said he didn't have time and he was only in there for a few minutes.  He said he was spending MY quarters on an (drum roll please.....) energy drink.  (heavy sigh) Its times like these that all I can do is smile even though I want to choke him.  Then he asked me where I got the quarters, since I got them from HIS night stand drawer I didn't see the importance of the point he was trying to make.  I told him that 'I was the one that found them, put them in the jar and polished every one of them so they ARE..... MINE'.......we of course giggled after I said this to him......I must be losing my mind........

I get frustrated because we try and try and try to save money but we never can seem to do it......I mean where does the money go??? We don't live extravagantly, I haven't bought any new clothes, we don't go out to eat or to movies or any where else.....I must be losing my mind.........

I have noticed that LEGS has been wearing his wedding ring a lot more.  I realize this may sound crazy to some of you- but he shouldn't wear jewelry when he flies, for safety reasons.  Some people do anyways but they advise you not to.  In my mind I told myself he must have gotten into the habit of putting it on right we he gets home and changes out of his uniform.  

It always bothers me he can't wear his ring because if something happens to my dear LEGS, I want a piece of me with him. So instead of the wedding ring- when he flies I draw a heart over his heart with a sharpie- but in the summer down here he just sweats it off or it bleeds all over his undershirt.  I know I am crazy right?

Last night he told me over dinner that he has made the decision to just wear his wedding ring.  So he has been wearing it this whole time!!! I don't think he realized how much he touched my heart by telling me this........but it made me tear up, and brings me a great deal of joy to know that the token of his promise is always with him..........I feel like it will save him if something happens like it has special magical powers............I am losing my mind...........

Most days I don't struggle too much from being away from my family.  It may sound heartless, but I am where I need to be and that is wherever LEGS is.  But, one thing that has been kinda breaking my heart- is my Sissy Megs........tonight she is going to the Marine Corps Ball.  She has been texting me all week, asking me what she should wear, and how to do her hair and makeup.  

Last night she sent me 15 text messages of pictures with dresses, asking my advice.  Thank God for technology because we were able to get her in the best dress, and she is going to look amazing!!! It always flatters me, that she is asking my advice about what to wear because the truth be told she is the fashionista.  She has a professional job where she dresses up all the time, wears high heels, she is always up on the latest styles.....I wear blue jeans, if you see me in a dress its a rare occurrence and I think high heels were made by the devil, plus I feel like my style is weird and odd........I like wearing stuff nobody else is wearing.......I'm crazy.......

(HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF) Oh thank God.  I can sleep peaceably in my bed tonight.  The Wii Fit said  that I am "Normal." Night..Night.....

Just another day in the life of a military wife........**