My Goodie Box...My room mate....**

HELUUUR BLOGGY HOGGY...


Weather Conditions in NEVER NEVER LAND: HOTTER THAN BLAZES....


I don't know about you but I am sighing a huge sigh of relief....its feels good to get that trying to conceive bun out of the oven....I can never remember who knows, who doesn't know, if we told them, if we should tell them, if they are wondering, do they care....I can't keep it straight...


So....I have been reading the 'How to Get Your Body Ready/How to Get Pregnant' Books....


Penny for my thoughts?


Um....the mere fact that ANY of us are here is a total miracle....I know, I know, our parents have told us this, our health teachers and countless others have pounded into our brains that giving birth, and human life is a miracle.....


I just want to clarify what the word "miracle" means in the dictionary...


Miracle Definition according to webster: an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing or accomplishment...


So....we are all just UNUSUAL EVENTS....walking, talking, eating UNUSUAL EVENTS....in my mind- you ONLY become a MIRACLE when you conduct your life as one....I'm sorry but I am not willing to classify some of the people that I have known/know in my life as "Miracles"  call me a hater...


I AM!


And....I cannot begin to tell you how many SEX ED, Health, Biology, Psychology, AT THE COLLEGE LEVEL classes I have been to in my life..... I have never really grasped how hard it seems to be...to GET pregnant.....


I also wish I would have been a little LESS giggly and a little MORE mature during these totally ridiculous presentations, because it sure would help me out now.....I mean- do they give adult SEX ED classes??? And if I did go back would I be able to keep a straight face?  


I am thinking.....NOT.


The irony in this life filled with pills, lectures, "barriers", awkward conversations, secrets, lies, appointments, red faced, shame filled, day in and day out worries that (GASP!) We should EVER get pregnant are having this profound and surreal affect on me.....


Getting PREGNANT up until this point in my life was like a COMPLETE TRAGEDY, so all of these rituals, practices, worries, and private tendencies have been completely tossed out the window- I am kinda freaking out over here.....


For instance......


I have been taking a pill, every single day since I was 15 to prevent a baby.  In May, I threw away that ritual....and still haven't......


See?  See what I mean? Its like I can't even utter the vocabulary...


I am not calling my Menstrual Cycle Aunt Flo....I'm not doing it.  Think about all the poor Aunt Flo's out there......


After contemplating I have decided my "Cycle" (as my Father used to refer to it) is MISS DOT.

Since May I have missed MISS DOT.  Yep, nothing, zilch, natta....MISS DOT has not made her debut.  


So as I am sure you are thinking right now...I am pregnant....NO.  NO I am NOT pregnant.  Have I taken a Pregnancy Test.  Yes.  A few of them actually.  I am not pregnant.


We have been using a "barrier" method instead....and have been REALLY CAREFUL.  I say if I am pregnant....I am the new Mary Magdalene...and LEGS' "LEGIONS" as he refers to them can punch through LATEX!


So that is what we are waiting for...MISS DOT.


Other thoughts:


Did you know when you decide to get pregnant, you can talk about Whoopi openly?  Yeah its like this really cool thing, suddenly you can call The Daddy up and start chatting about Whoopi....this would be the same person that you have PURPOSEFULLY, DRASTICALLY, and DRAMATICALLY run away screaming from during Sex Scenes, Sex Jokes, Sex Talks, Sex Comments, and the WHOLE idea of him or you ever having SEX....


Not only that but you can suddenly talk openly with anybody you want about FERTILITY, SPERM, VAGINAS, CERVIXES, PENISES, and the list goes on and on.....


So all that private, secret, lying stuff that happens while your growing up is now gone...You can talk about it all you want- no more shame, no more red faced awkward stuff- because now that you are trying to get pregnant everything is okay now....


OH yeah and in these books that I am reading, they keep telling you that you need to check your "Cervical Mucus."


OKAY HOLD UP.....


Huh? Wha?


Okay, so some of you may be the types that has spent hours just like Samantha from SEX and The City becoming intimate with your Goodie Box.  But, I am more like Charlotte.  

This is the kind of relationship me and the Goodie Box have.  Its like a room mate. We live together.  We have some good times.  I don't ask questions and I don't need to know what is happening behind closed doors.  Yes, my Goodie Box has a door, I allow two things through that door, toiletries for MISS DOT, and I let Mr. Good & Plenty make his routine   deposits to the said Goodie Box.

These books have me thinking, questioning and wondering...


Am I a prude?  Should I get to know my Goodie Box better?  


But....


I'M AFRAID! I'm terrified....what if I find something weird? Or what if I break something?  And truthfully...I am grossed out by this mucus thingy...


And one last thing I am having anxiety over.....


The Dreaded Gender Issue:


I just want a healthy baby.


But.......


Some family members really want a certain gender.....


I have done the reading, and have heard about some crazy things people will do to up their chances for pink or blue, but so far the science says its a 50/50 shot.


I am having some strong opinions about the gender thing.  First of all, one- as I have proven in my PERSONAL LIFE- is not better than the other. 


AND THIS IS MY OPINION....


I am not big on the traditional gender customs we as American's have.  I feel like we start shaping BOYZ and GIRLZ to be a certain type of person too early.   


I don't like all the frilly pink stuff on baby girls and I am not afraid to put my hypothetical son in colors other than blue....


Some people say that its nice to give people hints about gender because the awkwardness that happens when there is a mistake.  My feelings on this matter; first of all a baby doesn't know the difference so your not hurting my feelings or the baby's feelings by messing up the gender....


Second- I have strong feelings on this because I was raised to be a definite GIRLY GIRL- it wasn't until later in life that I learned I could do things that boys do just as well if not better.


My primary objective for my hypothetical child is to raise them up to be the "Miracle" as mentioned above, by completing the task of sending them out in the world with all the necessary skills to survive and live well, and second- to make whatever partner they choose a very happy man or woman regardless of sexual orientation.....


My solution for this is to keep the gender of the baby a complete secret- even LEGS and I won't know.......


Perhaps I will change my mind- 


And....


I am now realizing I am way ahead of myself....we aren't even pregnant yet.....


Well, 


let me check.....


Yep, Not Pregnant.....


Subject Change:


http://foxnewsinsider.com/2011/08/25/fallen-navy-seals-dog-refuses-to-leave-master%E2%80%99s-side-at-funeral/


LEGS and I bawled and sobbed on the couch after watching/reading about this.  Karmella: I LOVE YOU!!! You make me a better person, you COMPLETE me!


Random Thoughts:


I HATE when I have one million things to do but...I'm not sure what priority they should be done in...does anybody else have this issue??? Its times like this where I just want to say 'Ya know! FRACK IT! I am just going to sit and KNIT....YA! SO THERE! (Insert Guilty Conscience, SPARK from ADVOCARE, Sudden Motivation to be Productive)...


I have no idea what I am doing....I made this garden, grew, weeded, watered and nurtured the plants and now I have no idea what I am doing...all this stuff is ready to come out of the garden and I have no idea how to can/preserve any of it....let alone the supplies.....


On a positive note:  Tonight's dinner was 90% from the garden and ADVOCARE approved!!! Tomato relish with red onion, basil, olive oil, and italian seasoning on blackened chicken, Sweet Corn, Green Beans, and Fresh Salad with peaches, avocado and ginger dressing- this is the satisfaction I have been wanting to feel all summer long....


MMMMKAY....this is me playing NICE...FRG stand for FAMILY READINESS GROUP, the money raised by this group is used to make the unit deploying and spouses a more cohesive unit, it is all used to assist the familes while the unit is deployed, some examples of how these monies are spent; welcome gifts, baby gifts, events, AND in EMERGENCY SITUATIONS like Casualties, Car Accidents, Medical Complications etc.


The "Healthy Alternatives" Basket that has been placed in the COCK PIT for the LOST BOYZ is two fold- not only do we accept DONATIONS for the items in the basket, we are providing out of the goodness of our hearts healthy items to keep YOU sustained while conducting your Missions for our Country.....IT IS NOT, I REPEAT IT IS NOT TO 'TAKE AWAY' from the 'FRIDGE FUND' you JACK BALL...**


I attended a Coffee this morning with a quick lecture on Self-Esteem and also listened to the audio book the 5 languages of LOVE this past weekend, while I sometimes think we are too concerned with Self-Esteem these days and LEGS and I are happily married, I was able to pin-point some weaknesses of mine, the sad truth is that I need to speak more softly to my husband, starting today I am going to begin sentences with 'I WOULD LIKE IT' INSTEAD of 'I NEED YOU TO'.....**



Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife ('s HEAD)....**

LEGS and ARMS are TTC...**

Hi BLOG!


NEVER NEVER LAND WEATHER REPORT: GORGEOUS! We are finally having Summer over here and I couldn't be more happy...some people are complaining of the heat- and it is hard without air conditioning- but I will take these hot summer days and treasure them through the long winter!


Exchange Rate: 1 Euro = $1.44 (Ouch!)


I always hate when people compare their vacation travels to living abroad...there is no comparison.....so....STOP.


I also hate when movies or people talk about traveling and living abroad they do a despicable job of capturing the utter loneliness that you can sometimes feel being far away from home, but they also don't do the best job illustrating the bond that occurs when you find a friend(s) that makes you feel so at home you hardly forget your away...the most RADICAL thing about these adventures is that SPARK, that electrical connection that occurs when two like minded people collide in the universe...


Last night LEGS and I went on a ride.  We knew it would be fast and furious because we were racing sunset AND we really needed a hard ride after our leisurely rides this weekend.  He dropped me once in the beginning, I would say because my legs hadn't gotten warmed up yet.  He dropped me a second time up the Marktbergel hill (for those of you who live in NEVER NEVER LAND).  But I stayed an equal distance from him after the first initial gap, and I felt strong the whole way up, he got to the top of the hill and stopped to wait for me, only to be surprised I was already there.....we went 19 miles at 16 mph (approx. 1100 calories)...all I gotta say is its only a matter of time itch-bay's before I am dropping the boyz.....


(SMH) It drives me crazy when people post negative, passive-aggressive, random status updates on facebook....or even worse when they say stuff and its like...what am I supposed to say to that? Or....what can I say....???


Don't they realize that;


YOUR outlook on LIFE...is a DIRECT reflection of how much YOU like YOURSELF!!!???


Now that I have that OFF my CHEST....


Queen Di, BobDad, and Cupcake are visiting us very soon....as a preparation for their arrival I went to the local garden store, purchased salad plants and planted them today.  I know this sounds lame, but I am really proud of myself because I did it ALL BY MYSELF, usually I have Mariannae helping me.....


Last night LEGS and I went to bed, he was falling asleep and I was knitting in bed next to him....so I carefully very sneaky like tickled his ear with my knitting needle and pulled it away real quick, after violently slapping his own face he said firmly 'TIFFANY!!! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT PROBES IN MY EARS!!!


LEGS and I committed MASS MURDER TOGETHER.....we killed the SLUGS that are eating my garden!


TRUE STORY: there is artwork via sidewalk chalk on my drive way and terrace drawn by children ages 6 and under, LEGS asked me if one of the said pieces was a 'DICK' ; just a glimpse into the mind of a man, who has never grown up and spends his days in the COCK PIT with all the other LOST BOYZ....


This video- is incredible, and its not just about boxing, its about life! I wish I could download the soundtrack on it and put it on my ipod for when I work out or mow the lawn- so INSPIRING!

Boxing Motivation 3 : Nothing is Impossible 2011

www.youtube.com

I like waking up to so many 'pokes' on facebook.....virtual harassment is so naughty! ;)


Went for a ride today with the BOYZ, not my strongest ride, but I was a fighter the whole way, I think my ride name should be 'The HIGHLANDER' also...my groupies follow my rides, there was CHOLO yelling out her car window that she loves me....I was riding so fast I didn't see her tearing her clothes off...but I am pretty sure it happened....


ONLY AUNTIES- can love you like a mom, keep secrets like a sister, behave like a true friend, and kick your butt if needed....If you're an AUNTIE who LOVES your nieces and nephews with all your heart, than repost this status! .*D


Speaking of nieces.....I can't keep secrets- I don't think its arrived yet...but I wanted to post this before it loses its significance....


My niece Rylee is 3 months old now, and the MOST ADORABLE thing I have ever seen!  I sent off the blanket I knitted her, with this letter:

MY Dearest Niece Rylee

081511

In 5 short days you will be 3 months old, and we still have not met...

My hope is that someday, when you can read :) your Mommy will pull out this letter and share it with you. I don't know when it will be, but Moms always know best. This letter came with a blanket that I knit you.

I chose the colors of the blanket especially for you. The Tiffany blue represents me, the purple represents you (astonishing perfection might I add) and the silver your mother. I suspected your hair may be dark- that is why I chose purple and silver because your mother and I have not always seen eye to eye, but silver is a neutral color...so it is my hope that you will assist on putting the past behind us. Each stripe took me 4 hours give or take to complete...

The yarn was purchased in Oregon during Christmas 2010. It traveled by car from Oregon to Alabama. From Alabama it moved with us to Germany (A.K.A NEVER NEVER LAND) While I was knitting, it went to ITALY and back. Because of my travels- I was not able to meet you or help your Mommy the day you greeted the world.

My sincerest apologies for not making your debut, but it doesn't mean I LOVE YOU ANY LESS!

It is my passionate wish that you use this blanket daily- it was made to withstand all that you suspect it can handle- if it gets really dirty, torn and ragged- I can always make you another one of your choice....

I hope this blanket keeps you warm, that it comforts you and that you feel all the love Im always sending you in it secure stitches and hugs!

When you read this letter I hope that not only do your mother and I finally have a friendship within our sisterhood, but that you feel my love, my presence and you know you can always come to me for experience, wisdom, and sound advice- because on my travels I am learning a lot about the world.

Sending you love, hugs, kisses and SPARKLES from Never Never Land

Auntie Arms and Uncle LEGS

*******xoxoxoxoxo***********

Here I was doing Rosetta Stone thinking I don't remember any of it and didn't learn a thing and SUDDENLY I starting regurgitating all this german to my neighbor Mariannae....I was both so happy to see her and so surprised by my brain I could have bursted into tears! :*) This elation was quickly dispersed yesterday when she was over and I couldn't communicate the simplest of things to her.....learning a foreign language is NO JOKE people!


A year ago my heart was heavy with adult decisions, I was deciding whether or not to chase the OLYMPIC DREAM...and go to desperate lengths in order to pursue that dream.....I wanted to rewind my life back into my childhood, today, I am POSITIVE I made the best possible choice, I am living out my dreams with my SOUL MATE, we have the kind of love that will last for all eternity, love that even time stands still for- off for a weekend get-away to COLOGNE in NEVER NEVER LAND with my LEGS!!!


Here are some photo's we took on our excursion:

The Cathedral was so spectacular I was almost in tears....it got me really thinking about religion.  It took 632 years to build this church.  I started thinking of how many people, families and generations gave their lives to such a beautiful structure, and why they did it?  Is it because they were forced to- did their faith guide them?  And could they have comprehended the millions of people that gather around, stand in awe, even cry or worship at this location....admiring their sacrifice, their life's work....would you do it?  Would I do it?....give my life for legacy???

COLOGNE Germany has 1 million residents.  Its a big city and it was nice to see the city, see the edgy fashion and all the people walking the city side walks....but....I think I am a country gal.....I like simple, I like space, though I will admit I am a fashion junky- I miss the fashion of the city!  Its a beautiful contradiction!

I told LEGS if he messes up this is what will happen to him.... ;)

For MY SISTERS! A LABYRINTH PICTURE FOR YOU! XO**

This is for my SISSY- they have FOREVER 18 instead of FOREVER 21 here!

Some of the pictures above were taken in a museum- they have found parts of Roman Governer's residence which was found while trying to build a bunker in WWII, they have started to uncover and stage the parts they have uncovered in a museum- AMAZING STUFF!  Its just incredible that during the Roman's reign on parts of the world the structures they were able to build- that have survived all of this time.....astounding....

This is 'T.T.'s' SMILE:

And this is my IMITATION OF HIS SMILE:

I just haven't mastered the Buddah Belly because of ADVOCARE....


A big thanks to ROADIE and PEANUT BUTTER for watching our Karmella- she is snoring on the couch next to me...and while I know she was a pain in the ass- she means so much to me and I know she was well taken care of......


FITNESS STATUS:


Last day of my ADVOCARE CHALLENGE- I LOOK INCREDIBLE and CAN'T WAIT TO FLAUNT IT! ;D


In 24 Days I lost 3.5 inches and 5 pounds....

I wish my numbers were a little more convincing- 


BEFORE:

AFTER:

I will say those 5 pounds were probably the most stubborn....AND.....that I have drastically eased up on the hours out of my day that I need to work out because of the ADVOCARE products.  I am convinced I would have spent 3 months training twice a day to have lost that final 5 five pounds.  


I feel amazing and I will use ADVOCARE for the rest of my life!

It feels great to have my life back from the gym- and since I continue to use the products I will keep you informed on my further progress....


I LOVE THIS NEW 'REWIND' FACEBOOK status- a year ago this was your status:


August 2010- 


'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away.....' 


At this time I could have never imagined seeing all the INCREDIBLE things I have seen so far in 2011...and now the quote in my high school year book 


'If you never give up, you will get what you want' its as true today as it was 10 years ago, I have everything I want and more than I could ever dream... :*)


Lately I have been running a billion gajillion million miles an hour.....


My 'TO DO' List has been full of harvesting the garden, cutting the grass, going to the grocery store, volunteering, and being the best wife I can be.....its been tough to blog....and I am sorry....


LEGS and I have made some major life decisions recently as well.....


I have hesitated sharing them on this public forum....but....all of the warnings I have read about doing so have only provided STUPID reasons not to share......


When LEGS and I were engaged to be married, I kept stalling on setting a wedding date...I got a call from Iraq with a very stern FINANCE- I called him my FINANCE instead of my FIANCE', on the line, telling me to pick a date....out of my fear I moved the date from June/July to December.....


My whole life I have been cautious with ever single step I have taken.  A few weeks ago, LEGS sat me down on the couch and told me that he LOVES ME SO MUCH, and that he wants to have children with me....he wants kids....


As always, I came up with a million reason's why we are not ready, and how our future plans would need to change........


We went to bed, but I couldn't sleep....this idea of having children scares me to death, what a huge responsibility!  I laid in bed, I watched LEGS sleep, I listened to him breathe, I walked aimlessly in the dark of the house, after several hours, a wave of elation came over me, a smile across my face, I had the answer and I couldn't wait to share it with LEGS....


In the morning, I told him, 'Okay, Let's do it, let's start trying!'


That day I ran around all giddy and excited, I had this special secret, this special mission, finally my womanly purpose was materializing.....I ordered 'What to Expect Before Expecting'.....and sent LEGS a text with the 'new' vocabulary I had obtained in my search on AMAZON....


LEGS AND ARMS ARE 'TTC' TRYING TO CONCEIVE!!!


LEGS and I went to the lake with friends the other day, I felt so bad, he was following all the Daddy's around with their kids like a total groupie, helping the Dads,  and teaching the kids how to swim, I felt bad because I still haven't given him any children and though he may be a real life SUPER HERO- one adventure that will be his SHINING MOMENT is being a FATHER....


I watched my friends offspring the other day.  PEANUT BUTTER and SPIDER MAN were in the back seat of my truck playing and talking and asking me lots and lots of questions.....As I drove (very carefully) down the highway, I imagined for a moment that these children were mine, and my heart just poured over with happiness and relief, I knew then, I was making the right choice....


And even though- I collapsed with exhaustion, and I felt like a 'mean mom' all day long, and I know it won't be easy, and it will be hard, I am excited and...I am ready......and scared shitless.....


Things are moving pretty SLOW though....I still have some health specific issues that need to be addressed before we get all crazy....Things have already been surreal, strange, and amusing so I will keep everybody posted!!!


But how is this for irony- the other night in our hotel room- they put a crib in our room accidentally....NO PRESSURE or ANYTHING!

Today was a beautiful day indeed....it all started by giving free coffee and baked goodies to AMERICA'S HEROES for FRG donations- I made extra sure to thank them for THEIR SERVICE- (your welcome people!) And you know what?...they just smiled and blushed....


Went for a ride with LEGS- pulled a good amount, my house is upside down, and I really need to blog- but all this is effortless because of ADVOCARE! I am the energetic girl I want to be thanks to ADVOCARE!


It has become apparent over the last few hours why I NEVER let my house go....I would rather run around cleaning all week for 15 minutes there and 10 minutes here, than spend 3 hours cleaning up the pig sty we have created...and in nearly 90 degree weather with no air conditioning...now I smell like a pig in a clean house.....(heavy sigh)....time to FINALLY BLOG!


And there it is....the NEVER ENDING BLOG....


Guilty Pleasures:


After my 24 Day Challenge we ate Doner's and Red Vines....hey! Don't judge me! 

Privacy:

Random Thoughts:


I am IMMORTAL...because I don't believe I am MORTAL....**


I've been thinking...lately...I think TRUE LOVE is timeless...it doesn't run out or fade over time, it grows exponentially....


It was like Christmas in the mail for me today, I received things I have ordered including my new batch of ADVOCARE, but tonight we are going to be naughty and have DONER'S its too HOT too cook, all was accomplished, major harvest of green beans from the garden, my house is a disaster, and its going to stay that way, serving coffee to the BOYZ for the FRG in the am, and than hopefully getting my house back in order etc. etc.



I love the faithful "Pokers" the ones who day in and day out have continued to 'poke' me, it lets me know that they are thinking of my well being, I love being 'poked' and I hope they know that I am thinking of them too-BTW- I will win, I will gladly 'poke' you until the end of facebook... ;D (and if you reading this....I am poking you as well! )

Just another CRAZY BEAUTIFUL WILD 10 days in the life of an unlikely military wife...**