I am walking dead....**

WHASSSSUP BLOG!


Weather Journal: Its been really hot.  At least in ALABAMA we had air conditioning.  It supposed to cool down considerably for the weekend...not sure if I prefer that or not.


Exchange Rate: 1 American Dollar = 1.44 EURO :(


My life has been extraordinarily ordinary lately.  Sometimes that bothers me because I feel like I am boring, and I have nothing to blog about.  But....then I think......I should be so lucky.  One day, some day, my life could or will change and I won't be able to enjoy the extraordinary, ordinary days.......


Like the day that LEGS deploys.
Or the day we get sick, or lose somebody, or the day I am too busy to enjoy the simple things.


I went to the doctor to get my blood checked.  I think my Thyroid is messed up again, or as I like to call it MY ZOMBIE DISEASE.  I call it this because the last time my levels were off LEGS and I were watching a ZOMBIE show, and I was like EUREKA! That is how I feel- I feel (and probably look) like a ZOMBIE.  


My feet drag.  I have blood problems.  I am depressed. Unattractive. Lazy. And pretty damn hard to be around.


As I sit here and type I feel so tired I can hardly imagine putting a sentence together, let alone a complete thought.  I don't like to be down, or tired or sick.  I don't like letting my thyroid disorder define me either.  


I keep telling myself that my levels are fine, I am just tired because I have been so busy. Or because I didn't sleep well last night.  I have been itching to get on my bike and ride, but even when LEGS was going tonight, I just couldn't bring myself to go, I felt too tired to even do that.  


In NEVER NEVER LAND, you have to wait extra long for your results to come back.  So I have to wait two weeks, then call the doctor, see what they say, if they change my dose then I have to wait six weeks for the effect to level out and produce an accurate result.  


So here I am....just sitting and waiting.....


I stay productive. I just do things in shifts.  I get up and do a couple chores around the house. Then I sit and rest.  I get up and run an errand, then I sit and rest again.  


I don't know. Maybe, just maybe, if I get a full night of sleep, I will feel better tomorrow morning.


And then I think.  EXPLETIVE.  I sound depressed.  My poor readers and friends.  I can't even fathom being myself right now, how could I expect to be any kind of person anybody would want to read about or spend time with?


As I said LEGS went for a ride.  Its 7:15 pm here.  I probably got a solid 6 hours of sleep last night, I took a nap today for 1.5 hours, and I can hardly wait for him to get home, so we can eat dinner and go to bed.  


So.....I am sorry I am like this.  But tomorrow, I am going to get up and try again.


Progress on my weight loss adventure:


I am weighing 142 lbs.  I am feeling really, really good.  I have slimmed down a bunch.  These last two weeks I have been really focusing on WHAT I eat.  Lots and fruits and veggies- especially to compensate for the days I have been too tired to workout.  


Cycling, is probably one of the easiest ways- that I have come across to lose weight and slim slim slim.  If you can't ride, or bike, I would recommend a spin class.




ARMS BOOKSHELF:


I am reading the Sookie Stackhouse books, the HBO show True Blood is based on the books. I LOVE LOVE LOVE these books!  (Side Note: One of my faithful readers told me about the books- Thank you sooooo much! you know who you are!)


Random Thoughts:


I hate when I used whitening stripes and they make my teeth sensitive to hot and cold.


Gosh.....I am.....so tired.......


I actually wore my first pair of LEGGINGS out in public today.  Shoot, I am hot enough to wear spandex.  Now I am addicted.  They are so comfortable.  I came home and napped in them- I think they might be better than sweats- I said MIGHT.  We have come along way since the days of STIRRUP PANTS......I was thinking today how I used to wear pants similar to this in 3rd grade.  I am getting old.  But when your old, comfort is a priority- so buy a pair of leggings- thank me later.


OVER & ASLEEP.


Just another day in life of an unlikely military wife zzzzzzzzz.......**

People are talking about MARRIAGE....**

HELURRRRR...Blog!


Weather Conditions brought to you by Karmella the Velociraptor: Must.........get...........water.......I'm........a..........HOT...................................DOG..........


Exchange Rate: SAME!


I wish I could say that I have had some prophecies, some EUREKA moments or experienced some great enlightenment that I could share with you......but I haven't.  


Mostly I have just noticed some things about myself.  


LIKE;


I have learned that I like to be the center of attention, or at the very least be able to include myself in a conversation.  I hate when people talk about things that I don't care about or cannot contribute to.  I need to be better about this, I need to learn how to let others be center stage. How sad is that I am 28 years old, and am just now realizing this?


I can't seem to eat JUST ONE string cheese.


For every day I spend with people or in high energy mode, I need one day to recharge and recover. Was I like this 10 years ago, or is this part of getting old?


Also, after my last blog.....I have learned.....Happiness Take COURAGE.


And I have noticed some things about others, which has made me notice more things about myself.


LEGS and I, are really happy.  NO. We really are.


I have noticed its hard for me to spend time with other married couples who don't seem to be as happy as we are.  It starts getting weird when they squabble, bicker and fight over things in front of us.  Or have you ever been in a situation when everybody has had a couple of drinks and one spouse crosses over to the dark side and starts bashing the other?  Or when they fight over something super personal......AWKWARD!


I mean....what is the answer or solution? Do you ignore it? Take sides? Offer advice? Laugh it off? Give moral support to the WIFE because you are one? Usually it results in the sound of crickets.......and that is LAME........


Things aren't perfect between LEGS and I.  For instance....


Last week, we lent our friend MY TANK.  Or rather, LEGS lent MY TANK out to HIS FRIEND. 


I put the recycling out on the porch in hopes that LEGS would behave something like this:


IN LEGS' MIND:


'Oh- hey.....there is recycling on the porch.  ARMS doesn't have a vehicle, so.....maybe........ I should drop it off.  I mean.....its not like she can carry recycling on her bicycle. YES! 


THAT'S IT! 


I WILL TAKE THE RECYCLING IN FOR HER!' (Sound of a SUPER HERO!)


Do you think that this is what happened? 


NO.....


The recycling sat on the porch for a week!  


Disappointed......I verbally said 'You know LEGS....I didn't leave the recycling out on the porch for fun.  I was hoping that you would think to yourself, ARMS doesn't have a vehicle so I should drop it off. '


(Insert blank stare) 


Another few days passed, and now we had two bags of recycling instead of one.


How I made my point.  


LEGS needed me to pick him up from work.  I promptly left what I was doing to pick him up.  


I put the two bags of recycling in the passenger seat of the car.  When he opened the door to get in, I just stared straight ahead like I had no idea that two bags of recycling were holding him up.  He had to move both bags of recycling in order to get in.  Once he got in the car, he said


LEGS:' Do you want to drop off the recycling?'
In my mind: 'Yes......yes, babe, I want YOU to drop off the recycling.'


Or....sometimes, I will ask him to pick something up (that belongs to him) but he won't.  So I'll just stick it in the bed.  At night, when he goes to put his feet in the bed, and he is tired, and ready to sleep.  Suddenly!!! He runs into the item that I asked him to pick up, when he was awake, alert and available.  Now he actually has to pick the item up, when he doesn't want to.  


And we usually giggle about it.


And me? Well.....I am HIGH MAINTENANCE....mostly verbally....


So in the end....we aren't perfect.


But we try, to fall in love, OFTEN.  


Lately, it seems, people are talking about marriage.  


Whether to do it? 


Whether to end it? 


Whether to stay with it?


And I think this quote pretty much sums it up.......

I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.
Zig Ziglar


GUILTY PLEASURES:


Four Cheese Pasta at the Italian Restaurant we love in Bad Windsheim- I ATE THE WHOLE THING!


Saltines with NUTELLA, its my new favorite snack.




ARMS' Mailbox:


LEGS came home with a package on Friday.  
He was hoping it was his bike parts.  
But it wasn't. 
It was for me.  I am kind of a big deal.
It was from my friend RED.  
And it was a shiny, sparkly.  
I like shiny, sparkly's.  


She had a necklace made for me, with an APACHE on it.  I have already worn it, and received many compliments and requests on where I got it.  Here is the website www.HERHEROSTORE.com


Check it out!


(Okay, so this is why I haven't posted pictures- much to RED's disappointment.  I have this camera that I carry around everywhere for my blog.  And I drop it. A LOT.  Well...I finally dropped it for the last time the other night and now its broken.  So.....I tried to take a picture with LEGS' fancy billion dollar camera tonight.  Yeah.  I spent like a half hour trying to snap one picture.  Not happening.  So I PROMISE to post pictures of the necklace in the next blog. SORRY!!!)


Last but not least.  A sincere, heartfelt thank you to RED for thinking of me in such a unique way.  I LOVE the necklace!!!! And- I don't deserve you.


**


Random Thoughts:


I was riding my bike with a friend the other day, and when she went over the curb (said friend hasn't been on a bike in a LONG time!) she immediately put both feet on the ground.  Not sure if you can picture this, but my view from behind- it was pretty funny.....


On that same bike ride.  A car passed us with two dudes in it.  They were starring and slowing down.  She said "Please tell me you know those guys because they are kinda creeping me out."  I did know them.  It was LEGS and his friend.


The other night we went to Bad Winsheim for dinner with friends.  LEGS decided to drive, and I decided to drink.  It had been one of those days where I was too busy to have a full meal, so I had small snacks, by the time we arrived at dinner I was starving!!! I drank a glass of wine or two and next thing you know- I was plastered.  We left the restaurant.  We turned out of the parking lot, and saw the Politzei.  I had a feeling when we saw them we were getting pulled over.  Sure enough, blue lights in the rear view mirror.  


I started to panic.  LEGS hadn't been drinking, but its scary getting pulled over by foreign police in a foreign country.  Its not like you can say- "I want my phone call!" You don't have the same rights!?! So I start freaking, and LEGS tells me to calm down.  But I can't.  


First thing we did was ask if they can speak english (in German). Luckily they were able to speak English.  They asked if LEGS had been drinking.  He said he had not (because of course he hadn't.) But I drunkenly announced 'I HAVE!' The Police Officer looked at me, and said smiling 'Your Allowed!'


OVER & OUT


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**

EXPLETIVE.....Am I not pretty enough?**

Hey Blog Face....

Weather Report by ME: It was a beautiful sunrise this morning......

Exchange Rate: $1.42 = 1 Euro

I am not sure why.  

Maybe it was the long drive home.  

Maybe it was all the carbs I ate this weekend.

Or perhaps all the wine I drank.  

Or possibly post vacation blues?

Maybe its hormones.

Or it could be that my thyroid levels are off.  

But I have been thinking.  A LOT.  About stuff.  

Things that I haven't thought about in a really long time, and things that are on my mind, and things that are making me SAD......

Its really nothing big.  Its really nothing small.  Just a concoction of random topics, that look like vomit, and feel like plague.

I know....that its ridiculous.....

But I seem to be having a special kind of heartsickness.....

And nothing is shaking it.....

Its pretty astounding to me how little petty things can send you spinning, when you have the whole world at your fingertips......

I have been thinking about all the girls that have spent countless hours training and going through the pains of making weight to compete at the US Nationals this week for an Olympic slot, and how even though I enjoyed the glory of it all- I DO NOT ENVY their position.......After I complete this thought I wonder if there is something wrong with me? Because I don't want that....for my life....and I wonder if I am settling for mediocrity? (EXPLETIVE)....

My controversial blog is coming back to haunt me.  While I find myself to be jovial at the challenges people present me and I like a battle of wills, wits, street and social smarts, I am learning the hard way....that you can say what you think all you want....but what you say isn't going to necessarily win you any fans.  Its been a talent of mine to "feel" things other people don't feel, and lately, I have been "feeling" iced out by the people in LEGS' company.  

I think this is one of those lessons you learn over and over again in life- or at least its been one of the ones I learn over and over again.....

Its that YOU may be done with the PAST, but the PAST may not be done with YOU......(EXPLETIVE)........

You know those CD's that you have in your car, and you pop them in while your driving, and suddenly they bring you back to the time and place you were in when you made the CD?  

It happened to me on the way home from the grocery store.  Suddenly I was back in ALASKA, in the boxing gym, and LEX was there.  I started to feel sad, and then angry.  I started to miss my old coach, my friends.....the gym.  

That time in my life was so special and I didn't even know it.  I met the coolest people, I had the coolest friends, friends that would do anything for me, friends that protected me.  We shared something real.  We shed blood, we shared jokes, we broke each other down and built each other up.  To me, those are my glory days....will I ever have that again? (EXPLETIVE).......

Now I started feeling really down.  Usually when I feel this way, I do work.  I stay busy to work myself out of the funk.  So...I decided....I would do yard work.

I put my headphones on and started cutting the grass.  It has probably been the earliest I have ever cut my grass because I was out there right at 10am.  (For those of you who don't know I have a very large yard- about an acre.) I was half done with the lawn when I spotted my German neighbor in his Pajamas.  

He flagged me down, and I happily bounced over to him.  We exchanged greetings, and then he told me he was 'trying to relax.'  I was like 'Oh..that is good.' (DUMB AMERICAN GIRL).  

Then he asked me if I knew it was a German Holiday.  The smile started to fade from my face and I sensed the rest of the conversation was not going to go so well.  I told him I didn't know.  Then he said 'We don't cut the grass on holiday.'  

Mortified I just stood there, not sure what my next move was.  Then he asked me again, if I knew it was a German Holiday.....I again reiterated I had no idea.  Then he asked me where LEGS was- I was like HE'S AT WORK!  He seemed shocked that LEGS was at work, and I shamefully finished the conversation.....by running the lawn mower into the shed.

After that I came inside and shut all the blinds.....and felt even more pathetic and embarrassed.  I felt like I had just been scolded by my father...as an ADULT.  And then....I felt mad.....and then I felt sad.  I was mad because its not like the German's know all the American Holiday's! Then I realized I was just being defensive because I made a stupid mistake.  It was at this moment....that I felt so very far away from HOME.......And....my day of being productive had just gone to....

(EXPLETIVE)........

At this point, I had no other choice.  A full fledged pity party was in effect. I made a hodge podge on the couch, I cuddled with Karmella.  I ate Nutella covered Saltines (I didn't have any junk to eat- so I tried this for the first time ever- um yeah- its AMAZING). I watched True Blood reruns. I cried at the tip of a hat.  It was reminiscent of Diane Keaten's Character in 'Something's Gotta Give' where she cries incessantly for days.....

I started to try to figure out why I felt so pathetic. 

I ran down the list in my head: Is it because I am mediocre? NO.  Is it because I miss LEX? MAYBE.  Is it because I couldn't mow the lawn? MAYBE.  Is it because of the neighbor? NO. Is it because I feel like LEGS' people hate me? MAYBE.  

Hrrmmmmmm........

Was I (Gasp!) HOMESICK?

I have felt homesick once in ALABAMA.  It lasted a week.  And it was horrible.

At the realization that I may be suffering from homesickness I started to think about HOME.

Specifically my parents.  I worry about their health.  (They are both probably pissed at me for writing this....SORRY!) No...but seriously....I want them to live FOREVER.  And I worry that they aren't taking care of themselves very well.

Isn't it a weird paradox in life....that your parents tell you all kinds of wisdom and advice growing up, and most the time you don't take it, because- they don't know what they are talking about, but then.....when you get older you see things, and you tell them what you see- but they don't know what your talking about?

I want to go home because its my fantasy that things will be a certain way, but its like that weird thing that we all do.  We have this picture in our minds about how things are going to be, and they never really live up to the picture.

EXPLETIVE.....

LEGS came home and joined my party.  I appreciated his tenderness and understanding because I might not have made it out of the pit of despair....he's good to me....

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me,
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break,
I crave, I love, I’ve waited long enough,
I try as hard as I can.

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don’t I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

I laugh, I feel, I make believe it’s real,
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees,
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man,
I try as hard as I can.

OVER & OUT

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**

Buona Notte ITALIA! (ITALY part Quattro)

Buona Notte Blog!

Italian Weather Report: Of course our last little morning in ITALY was perfect.  Less people, less clouds, more sun, more clear blue sky!

Exchange Rate: At this point.....the reality is astounding....it was an expensive trip.

Due to the late our of our return from the beach, our late afternoon siesta caused a wrinkle in our dinner plans.  Our plan was to travel to Vernazza, 'the jewel of Cinque Terre' for dinner.  Since that feel through, we decided an early morning adventure to Vernazza was in order.

As exhausted as we all were, we drove, on our way home to Vernazza.  The drive was absolutely stunning.  If you ever get the chance, driving down or up the roads on the coast of ITALY are a grand mixture of frightening and fun.  The roads are bike path thin, with hair pin turns the whole way, on one side is a rocky mountain and the other side is sheer cliff.  

I was a little cranky this morning for two reasons.  I was hungry, and I needed to go to the bathroom.  

A word on the bathroom situation in Italy- YES- its a situation.  

I found the entire time I was in Italy, it was an absolute sin to need to use the restroom.  Bathrooms are not readily available, may cost you money, and in some cases.......I would rather go outside. By the end of the weekend I just wanted a clean toilet and some GOD FORSAKEN toilet paper!  What's even more frustrating is that they BOYZ didn't have this problem- they could go anywhere!  I found myself irritated because I was a female- and can you imagine if Aunt Flo was visiting!?!


We decided to eat down by the harbor in a Cafe' by the water.  The food was alright, not the most impressive meal, but I was just happy I wasn't hungry anymore.

It was time.....we had to leave paradise.....I felt bad even complaining, I mean, we live in NEVER NEVER LAND, and it beautiful there too.......but there is something special about ITALY.


Another round of snap shots taken to seal the memory.  We came. We saw. We conquered.


It is my philosophy that wherever you go, even if its modest in nature, you should always learn something and apply it to your own life.  

This is what ITALY taught me:


1. Bathrooms, are precious.


2. I learned that while, I am a motivated traveler, I do like to slow down and enjoy the ride.  Seeing monuments, sights, and taking pictures is important to me, but also slowing down, eating authentic food, and doing what the people of that region do, are more....special...to me.


3. I learned that Italians spend 6 grand a year on their wardrobes.  While in Italy, I couldn't have felt more fashionably challenged.  Add on top of that the attractive specimens and I felt even more lame.  


4. I learned that, Cinque Terre is in the book '1,000 places to see before you die.' And I can see why.....its upsetting to me, but at the same time so true, being able to see such an amazing, beautiful place, inspired me to see more amazing places, and motivated me to be more thankful, genuine, and full of love.

5.  I learned that my trip to Italy would have meant NOTHING if I didn't have LEGS to share it with.  My admiration for him grew when I saw him with our friends' kids.  My love for him grew, because of he made a romantic gesture all on his own, by buying me the cuff.  And last, my lust for him increased as well, Italy is so sexy, its hard to resist those feelings of lust.


6. LEGS and I were impressed by J Lo and N(2)'s parenting style.  They worked well as a team together, their children put on star performances on our demanding trip- and they don't let their kids keep them from living a genuine life.  Thank you for showing us that even with kids, you can still do the things that you want to do.

While at dinner on our last night in Italy, I had a moment, where I was thinking about my life.  Since, I have hung my gloves to live in and see Europe, I have been feeling somewhat lost and insignificant.  I got so much attention and encouragement for my boxing, and lately, I have been feeling so lame, and almost forgotten........

I understand.  Boxing deserves command.  It deserves attention, because it was one of the hardest things I have ever done or been through......but...its not the ONLY thing that I want to do with my life, its not even the coolest thing.......

I don't want to return to college.  Spending my time in Europe on my computer, or in a class room is futile to me.  I have my Bachelor's and while I would love a Master's, I am in Europe!?

So....I decided.....


I am going to become fluent in German.


AND.


Italian.


What a fantastic way to spend my time in Europe and return to the states with arguably more marketability then a Master's Degree.  


That kind of ambition, deserves attention.  That kind of accomplishment is commanding!


I already know there are haters out there doubting me.  HAHAHAHA- I laugh at you because nobody ever thought I would be good at boxing either.  


WATCH ME.


One day......YOUR life....will flash before your eyes....make damn sure....its worth watching......

OVER & OUT


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife.....**

Buon Pomeriggio from ITALIA! (ITALY part Tre)

Buon Pomeriggio BLOG!

WEATHER IN ITALIA: SUN!

Exchange Rate: It doesn't matter.....ITALY is charging us for EVERYTHING....


On our last day in ITALY, we decided to travel to Monterosso the second to last town and hit the beach....


That morning, SPIDERMAN said: 'ARE YOU PREGNANT?'


And that......was all she wrote.....all that hard work I put in went to HELL, with my self confidence.....yes, yes, I let a 4 year old take me out of my element.


LEGS and N(2) (N Squared) were shopping for speedo's to fit in better.

Once we arrived to the beach it was hard to find a spot, or even buy one....but after searching far and wide, we were able to get a free slot on the 'free' beach......


(Side Note: Bring Water Shoes, the beaches are rocky and rough....so rough it hurts your feet to walk on them. It literally, stripped off the nail polish on my toes!)

Now....its not perfect....but its pretty darn good.....after two days of wine and pasta.....


As I laid on the beach and listened to the Italians speak italian, as I watched them frolic, flirt, and play on the beach.  It occurred to me.....Italians are Sexual, Sexy, people.  The language is incredibly provocative, they are attractive, stylish people who show off their bodies, even if they aren't 'model perfect.'  The have confidence that goes on for days, playful eyes, and are fun loving........I even felt more sexy, in one word ITALY is SEX.  The food, the wine, the language, the people, and the region are all about sexuality.

The BOYZ scored us some lunch.  Wine, Focaccia, and you guessed it more Pizza.


By the time we left I felt so blissfully happy....I was silent with my wine buzz, Vitamin D, and Carb Intake.......


I have been thinking a lot about traveling styles.  I like to believe that I am one of those people who likes to be active and see a bunch.  But.  If all you do is rush around seeing a bunch, do you really 'experience' it??? The afternoon on the beach was the closest I felt to the Italian people, and in my opinion, the most authentic time I spent in Italy.

Our time in Italy was coming to a close.....we were all getting desperate...we started making plans to fake deaths etc., just so we could stay longer.


It was time for our last night in Paradise.

I don't even need to narrate....the pictures say it all.....


At the end of the evening on our march back up the hill (that hill was getting longer and longer each time we did it.....) LEGS my incredible romantic amazing husband, bought me a beautiful Italian Cuff from a Sidewalk vender.  I AM!......the LUCKIEST GIRL in the UNIVERSE!

BARBIE: Each sold separately, batteries not included.....

PS- I was falling out of this summer dress all night because...there was a time, I have pictures to prove it, that I was a fat girl and I actually had cleavage.....


OVER & OUT


Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**