beloved LEGS....
....its new years day and we are traveling back in time.....
....every time I lay my eyes upon your face, run them across your chest and down to your toes....I think I cannot be lucky enough to be married to this handsome, sexy, man....
I wake up from a nap on the airplane, my mouth is dry like cotton, you smile at me and kiss me and then I look down to see water that you ordered for me while I was sleeping. I know it seems like something small, but if I had been traveling alone, which happens a lot when you are away, I would have slept through the drink service, I would be sitting next to some stranger who doesn't even know we are still in Afghanistan, and suffering through dehydration. To have this small, careful, compassionate gesture, is a luxury, it is as rich as flying first class on a private jet....
....I wake up again and you are holding my hand. My heart smiles and I drift back off to sleep...
TWENTY SEVEN TREACHEROUS HOURS of time travel and you still make me laugh, give me comfort, watch over me, watch over our things, I think its the funniest trip we have ever made.
At the moment we are jammed on a flight full of military members headed to Alaska. They all have that war torn look about them, the insignia on their sweatshirts or camo backpacks, the sound of dip cans being packed, and curse words being sprinkled in normal conversations....a lot of times I feel like Alaska isn't my home any more, but, on this flight I feel as if, I am reunited with my people, and we are all going. HOME....
I can't stop looking at you, even in your most unattractive, overly tired, zombie like travel sleep position, mouth open, head cocked back, I still look at you in awe. I look at you not believing you made it back, not believing I am so lucky, tears well in my eyes....because I can hardly take it......the gratitude in my heart, for you and for all these soldiers....
....and still there are moments when our separation is apparent, a hitch in our flow, a break in communication, a momentary aggravation, but as a seasoned military couple- we lock eyes and we just know, its because we are both used to being alone, we are both used to being in charge....
....in Zurich at passport control, as we moved up the line, I looked over to you to retrieve our passports, I saw you frantically searching through your bag for our passports but coming up short, I started to get frustrated that you hadn't yet found them, when we were called up to the counter you were still rifling through your bag, my irritation must have been apparent and your panic was definitely so, because the passport control officer asked us if everything was alright. We both laughed and I explained to her that we had both been separated a long time and we are learning to work together as a team.....she looked amused and we were clear to proceed.....
....its amazing how anonymous we can be through out life....in airports I always think none of us know any of us, where we have been, where we are going, what we have been through, though, I feel like telling all of them, that you made it back, that to me you are a hero, especially when we land in the United States....
... I suppose there were a few instances in which our military status mattered, we were able to cut through the security line (not without being challenged) , we were able to board the plane first, its not lost on me to an average civilian this is a huge gesture of appreciation, the grumbles and sour looks indicate this is so....but....when I think of the painful burdens you carry, the hardship we endure....the gesture is miniscule.....
...the thought of leaving you, letting you out of my sight, to run and use the restroom, to conquer and divide, sets off a deep rooted panic....and I stop breathing until we are together again, when I see you, when the back of your head is in my view, or your walking back from where you were, or when I hurry around the corner and see you sitting there....I feel the same elation I felt the day you came home, like a child on Christmas morning, sweet sixteen with a new car, a young bride on her wedding day....its a beautiful gift, every moment I have with you....
....just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife....**
No comments:
Post a Comment