The Diarrhea Expert.....**

Every time I call my Grams up, she wants to talk about the weather.  Its one of quirky things she does, she also really likes birds so when I hear birds singing outside my window when I am trying to sleep- I don't get grumpy I just smile because I know she would be too....

Anywayz, I find myself talking about the weather as an opening to my blog- which is funny to me.  Where does that come from? Did I socially pick it up from her? Do I do it because I am genetically pre-disposed to? Or do I really think people would like to know what kind of weather I am experiencing at the moment?

I called her up tonight, just to see if she would talk about something else. Nope. She told me yesterday in upstate New York they got up into the 50's, they do not have any snow yet, but they are experiencing a lot of wind.  She also informed me that she looked it up and last year they didn't have any snow either- not until December 5th.

Today in Alabama its 65 degrees, and it feels like a typical Alaska summer day.  The air is crisp, the sun is warm except the leaves are changing.......Today was what a fall day SHOULD be like and it was beautiful.........I should be a weather girl, I would just call Grams up before I went on air to get the weather of today and what was happening today last year. Yes? No?

I hate that I say the word 'like' so much...and I hate losing my train of thought...'Like, what was I saying?' Oh yeah......

This afternoon I called and spoke to my Daddy.  When he answered the phone I could tell he was really pumped up and excited about something. He was so high strung when I spoke to him I was wondering how much coffee he had consumed prior to my call, I mean he was going a million miles an hour. Tomorrow he has a colonoscopy scheduled. The reason for the manic episode I think YES.  Can't say I blame him the idea of going under (what if you don't 'go under?'), going to a hospital (the only cool about going to the hospital is the drugs they give you), and having THAT done make me want to lay in a bed full of cockroaches instead........

I am sure you can imagine where this conversation was going.  My father proceeded to tell me he is and EXPERT on Diarrhea.  I was laughing so hard, but he was still squirting information about why he was a Diarrhea EXPERT, so I had to refrain.  (Side note: My father works in Indonesia, he does a month on month off rotation.) 

He told me one time while he was working in Indonesia he got really bad Diarrhea so he immediately took a Immodium-who wouldn't?  He said the next thing he knew he was burping "Cow Gas," whatever that is, and he felt like a balloon.  He went to the Doctor over there which they incidentally call S.O.S. and the Doctor told him 'NO! Don't take an Immodium let your body get rid of whatever is causing the issue in the first place.' Makes sense.....

Daddy said if he goes one entire rotation without Diarrhea he considers himself lucky, I guess this makes him an EXPERT.  Note: The Diarrhea EXPERT says " If you have Diarrhea for more than a day or two, you should go to the Doctor, refrain from taking Immodium or Pepto Bismal."  

I have a hard time sitting still, being lazy, not having a purpose/project, or somehow enriching the world........I don't know how people can stand laying around all day or sleeping for long periods of time- (the worst part of my day is going to sleep I feel like I am going to miss something).....not bettering themselves with education or working a job that makes a difference, or being productive.....I mean find a dream, do something, be an inspiration at least......

Things that I think are OBTUSE on facebook:

This new Q & A facebook game- its annoying and I think people are lying because they really want to talk about themselves....

Putting song lyrics are your status and then playing it off like it doesn't have any relevance to your 'real life'.....Just say what you mean and get it over with......

This new "Checking In" function- I don't think its anybody's business where I am at every waking minute of every day- you are not a super star that people are trying to stalk you are one of the masses........ People keep saying when you do that you are going to be victimized because you are letting the criminals know where you are- only if your friends with the criminals.....There is a whole big world out there......get over yourself........

Man.......I am obviously letting people rent space in my head and need to evict them. (courtesy of Kat ;) I get annoyed with things that people do, and things people say......I let it bother me..........But then I start to think how boring life would be without these kind of people- how I would not laugh nearly as often, be amused, excited or otherwise inspired by the ignorance of others.......(side note: I am not saying this to put myself above others or make myself feel good, I am a getting fatter every day blond, with no job, who lives in Alabama as a military wife, that gets punched in the head frequently) BOOYAH!

Don't you hate it when you give people advice or suggestions and they don't take them?

Or when people give you advice but don't follow their own advice?

10 things you should avoid if you want to be happy when your old:

Bad Knees

Bad Back

Bad Eyes

Bad Ears

Bad Bladder

Bad Bones

Bad Gut

Bad Skin

Bad Brain

Bad Mood

(courtesy of Men's Health Magazine)

Just another day in the life of an unlikely military wife........**