I must be losing my mind....**

I don't know exactly why but apparently I have a special super power- its the ability to get very little sleep and somehow still function.  I am tired, sleepy.....utterly exhausted.....but when I go to bed, I fall asleep and then 2 hours later I am wide awake.  I don't feel stressed, but I think I might really be stressed about the holidays and our big move to Germany.  I lay there in bed and think I am so wide awake its like I just drank a cup of coffee.  I have starred out the window, did a 3am tour of the house in the dark, read my book and cleaned the house all before 6 am this week.  I must be losing my mind......

Last night I thought Clancy might be dead- I couldn't hear him breathing.......so I just sat there and watched him, but I couldn't see him breathing- I was so terrified that he actually might be dead that I couldn't bring myself to touch him, because in my mind I wanted LEGS to find him in the morning....I must be losing my mind.........

My face is breaking out like I am in high school and have a big date coming up......

I have decided its time to start cooking.  My little plan is that I will cook so much that I might actually be good at it one day.......So the other night I wrote down what I would need for 4/5  new recipes on my grocery list.  The next day I went to the store and learned a valuable lesson- when you write down your grocery list for a new recipe you should put how much of each ingredient that you need, you should also make your list very clear and double check it.  

I was in the running back and forth down the aisles. Putting stuff in the cart, taking stuff out of the cart, talking to myself, sweating, scratching my head, rocking myself back and forth, having sudden outburst of Tourrett's.....when I get home and double checked the recipes I had bought several things that I don't need- but I wrote them down.  I bought the wrong thing even though at one point I had the right thing in my cart........I must be losing my mind...........

I have these bottles/jars for excess change.  I save them up for a long period of time and I always tell myself we could use them if we get into a bind.  My big plan is to cash them out before we go to Oregon for Christmas. I saw LEGS leaving the quick stop yesterday on base.  I told him I wished I would have called him and had him pick me up some wine because I was in a hurry to get to the vet before it closed.  

He said he didn't have time and he was only in there for a few minutes.  He said he was spending MY quarters on an (drum roll please.....) energy drink.  (heavy sigh) Its times like these that all I can do is smile even though I want to choke him.  Then he asked me where I got the quarters, since I got them from HIS night stand drawer I didn't see the importance of the point he was trying to make.  I told him that 'I was the one that found them, put them in the jar and polished every one of them so they ARE..... MINE'.......we of course giggled after I said this to him......I must be losing my mind........

I get frustrated because we try and try and try to save money but we never can seem to do it......I mean where does the money go??? We don't live extravagantly, I haven't bought any new clothes, we don't go out to eat or to movies or any where else.....I must be losing my mind.........

I have noticed that LEGS has been wearing his wedding ring a lot more.  I realize this may sound crazy to some of you- but he shouldn't wear jewelry when he flies, for safety reasons.  Some people do anyways but they advise you not to.  In my mind I told myself he must have gotten into the habit of putting it on right we he gets home and changes out of his uniform.  

It always bothers me he can't wear his ring because if something happens to my dear LEGS, I want a piece of me with him. So instead of the wedding ring- when he flies I draw a heart over his heart with a sharpie- but in the summer down here he just sweats it off or it bleeds all over his undershirt.  I know I am crazy right?

Last night he told me over dinner that he has made the decision to just wear his wedding ring.  So he has been wearing it this whole time!!! I don't think he realized how much he touched my heart by telling me this........but it made me tear up, and brings me a great deal of joy to know that the token of his promise is always with him..........I feel like it will save him if something happens like it has special magical powers............I am losing my mind...........

Most days I don't struggle too much from being away from my family.  It may sound heartless, but I am where I need to be and that is wherever LEGS is.  But, one thing that has been kinda breaking my heart- is my Sissy Megs........tonight she is going to the Marine Corps Ball.  She has been texting me all week, asking me what she should wear, and how to do her hair and makeup.  

Last night she sent me 15 text messages of pictures with dresses, asking my advice.  Thank God for technology because we were able to get her in the best dress, and she is going to look amazing!!! It always flatters me, that she is asking my advice about what to wear because the truth be told she is the fashionista.  She has a professional job where she dresses up all the time, wears high heels, she is always up on the latest styles.....I wear blue jeans, if you see me in a dress its a rare occurrence and I think high heels were made by the devil, plus I feel like my style is weird and odd........I like wearing stuff nobody else is wearing.......I'm crazy.......

(HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF) Oh thank God.  I can sleep peaceably in my bed tonight.  The Wii Fit said  that I am "Normal." Night..Night.....

Just another day in the life of a military wife........**