Yeah Right Dude...**

I couldn't sleep again last night......even though I was tired all day long....So I laid in bed for two hours.....relaxing every muscle in my body, breathing deeply, switching positions, finally I took a melatonin- knowing full well I would wake up feeling groggy this morning.

I got 7 hours of sleep and woke up groggy, but I had many things to do today.  I hit the gym, went to the commissary, and by the time I got to my Doctor's appointment at 12:40pm I felt like I had been up for 48 hours straight.  I took a Vitamin B, and ate something.  But it didn't help.  

The Doctor, who is non-English understanding, thick Italian accented guy told me my ranges are NORMAL. Yeah-Right! Dude....I asked him what they were but I could not understand what the hell he was saying.  Then I asked him to check my finger to see if I have diabetes- he looked at me and said "No- you don't have that- that's not you."  What else could I say? (Just typing this makes me furious!!!!) So I left, defeated, and tired..........

I went to get my windshield fixed today.  What is about a pretty girl walking into an automotive shop that makes those guys come unglued??? And why can't they take more off the price if they are going to stare at me?  Yeah? Right? Dude.....

I am sure the guy was just being friendly, but as soon as I rolled up he came running out.  I was on my phone and had to end my call because I had Mr. Man standing outside my door starring at me like a freak show. I felt like a damn fish in a fish bowl.....(heavy sigh)Yeah Right Dude.....

He told me he could take the key off my key ring- but his hands were shaking so badly I had to do it.  Since the TANK has to sit for four hours I decided to leave it over night, the guy offered me a ride home- 

But I started thinking- yeah, right dude, I am going to get in a car with you- a stranger- in Alabama? Then, you will know where I live, and he even offered to come pick me up tomorrow morning- a little too over zealous for me. 

I have done some research since I have gotten home about what NORMAL ranges are.....it says the NORMAL ranges for this disorder were revised in 2003, but less knowledgeable doctor's are still using the old ones.  It also says that people with thyroid disorders do in fact experience sleeping disorders.  So I made an appointment with my primary care physician in two weeks (soonest I could get in) and still have an appointment with the Endocrinologist in January. At this point I am hoping to feel better by Christmas.......

I get so frustrated- (no you know what frustrated doesn't even begin to cover it) I feel so Timothy McVeigh- because I know my body and I don't feel well.  When I go to the Doctor and I say I am not feeling well first they look at me like "Well...you look fine..." Then they check my blood and tell me I am normal and look at me like I am just a freak show who has hypochondria.  Yeah right dude!!!- I don't like hospitals, or Doctor's offices, I have better things to do then come here and waste my time dealing with some mediocre joke of a Doctor....

LEGS is getting annoyed and irritated too.  He actually asked me today if I am tired because I am not THAT active.......BAHAHAHAHAHA- no but seriously- Yeah Right Dude......I am just as active as I have always been.....I know he's just hoping I am not sick again.  I have decided that if LEGS ever gets hurt I will take care of him no matter what.......

I get upset because I feel like I am a good person, and I do everything right- all I want is to feel normal. I would kill the damn thing if I didn't need it to have children. Then I think about all the a**holes out there doing nothing with their lives without this disorder......ahhhh the bitterness seeps through......I am proud of myself for not eating the rest of the cream cheese frosting in the fridge and having 10 glasses of wine....and also for forcing myself everyday no matter how sh*tty I feel to be a productive person......

"I do not ask to walk smooth paths nor bear an easy load. I pray for strength and fortitude to climb the rock strewn road.  Give me such courage and I can scale the hardest peaks alone, And transform every stumbling block into a stepping stone." Gale Brook Burket 

Just another day in the life of an Unlikely Military Wife......**